Lisp (scheme in particular)

>lisp (scheme in particular)
>haskell
>forth
>sh (bash, but whatever)
>c
Literally all you need or could ever want.
I'm willing to include Smalltalk, but you're gonna have to give some pretty good arguments.
Pascal might also be a valid alternative to C.
\TeX and \METAFONT are of course givens.
Fight me.

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perl, OP

no

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Think of how not terrible and unmanageable everything might be if these were all that were available and people were forced to learn how to use them properly.

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Scheme should replace sh/bash, it's perfect for the task.
Pascal should completely replace C.
Pic related

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Everything can be done with Scheme (which itself is easily implementable in FORTH) but it doesn't mean other things don't have a place or shouldn't be used. They should remain on the list if only for legacy reasons.. Bash and C aren't going anywhere.
Scheme and Pascal should for sure be utilized more instead though.
I really wish scsh wasn't bitrotted to hell...

Ehhh I say if we are imagining such scenerios we should drop c and she'll scripting altogether, and have some form of lisp that is efficient for systems programming

No one wants to fight for Smalltalk huh?

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scheme and haskell are boh functional, isn't that a lot of overlap?