>mom found the 10Gb network switch
Mom found the 10Gb network switch
Noah Thomas
Cameron Campbell
facebook runs a 1000 times faster
Jonathan Morris
>parents found the NAS with TB's of furry porn
Adam Butler
> grandpa pushed to master
Robert Miller
>friends found my GitHub
Nathaniel Evans
>sister forked into private repository
Jacob Williams
> the dog ate my private key
Adam Thompson
>grandpa flipped the 12TeV collider switch
Easton Williams
> oniichan found the nuclear powered rail gun
Hudson Smith
>dad caught me in the middle of compiling kernel 4.19.37 for x86_64
Brayden Harris
>US-China trade war may disrupt tech industry and make a lot of the successful people on Jow Forums lose their jobs if companies like Apple have to relocate their entire production chains out of China
Christopher Jackson
>uncle caught me installing windows 10 32bit
Ayden Lopez
>sis found the LAN killer
Andrew Thomas
> my babysitter installed python 1.6
Easton Moore
>>hampster fell on the AZ-5 button
Aaron Edwards
>Jow Forums
>successful people
John Hall
>aunt pull requested CoC
Kevin Fisher
>uncle compromised the backdoor login
Isaiah Martinez
>mom found my little girls swimsuits
Matthew Diaz
>sudo touch gf
Chase Flores
>crush denied my pull request
Colton Diaz
>Mom and sisters found all my incest-oyakodon doujin
Hudson Anderson
>cousins revoked three intermediate certificates
Nathan Russell
>microsoft found the restore disks
Carson Richardson
> I wasn't in sudoers file
> this incident will be reported
> Mom is root
Christian Stewart
>Jake from accounting stole the production TLS private key
Carson Murphy
>comrade saw graphite on the roof
Liam Evans
> check grandpas terminal history
> "sudo uninstall sudo"
Jordan Stewart
>aunt found my 5 watt laser pointer and pointed it at a helicopter
Hunter Long
>he doesn't have relatives with the good taste to su to root instead of using sudo
Julian Murphy
>gf saw trapcode in my rss subscription feed
Liam Bennett
>my mom found the poop sharpie
Nathaniel Gutierrez
> $sudo kill all NIGGERS
all NIGGERS killed
Blake Johnson
>grandma deployed to prod on a friday afternoon without testing
Aiden Adams
>server host key doesnt match with your rsa2 key fingerprint, press y to continue
Christopher Wilson
>wife's boyfriend released critical security patch for OpenSSH under GPL
Andrew Hernandez
>neighbors discovered im stealing there ethernet
Parker Hill
>wife's son found the Ext2 partition
Charles Barnes
>Sister ripped out der blinkenlights from server
Chase Scott
>grandma broke Xorg
Levi Clark
>nearly every post ITT with an anime avatar attached is utter shit
really makes you think about this here anime website...
Thomas Allen
he didn't see it because it's NOT THERE
Ethan Rivera
>apple store retail slaves
>successful
You can't actually believe anyone on here has a job at apple other than that, right?
Anthony Reed
>your computer was scanned 5 times
Luis Thompson
>neighbors cat found the tape backups
Jace Thomas
>auntie rebased after a merge
Jeremiah Williams
>cousin found about hidden SSID that Comcast fails to deactivate, hacked it and download from public trackers 24/7 as I'm on my second DMCA notification
At least is not CP, right Jow Forums?
Justin Perry
>sudo rm -rf shlomo
Blake Foster
>brother got his ticket to Cum Town
why him and not me?
Daniel Wilson
>he unironically uses su instead of the PolicyKit framework
Colton Bailey
>adobe found my pirated copies of photoshop and premier pro
Adam Young
>mom's still dead
Kayden Hall
>mom found my 128bit encryption key USB
>now can't access my 8TB hentai
Bentley Wilson
>lead keeps asking for the commit
Colton Sanchez
Best post ITT, because it's not 100% shitposting.
Jaxon Smith
>dad caught me merging a commit that didn't pass CICD
Cooper Phillips
>dad ran Pacman -S without -yu
Camden Cox
>delusional Jow Forums user
>send him to the roof
Noah Clark
>patreon subscriber asks for my address
>puts it on the internet for everyone to see
Carter Gray
>bash: permission denied
Gavin Turner
>little sister scanned, found, and cracked the hidden partition with hundreds of GB of cunny
>She likes it
Luke Perez
>second cousin from my dad's family and my friend's aunt boyfriend found the cunny folder
Angel Young
>uncle changed the default shell
Chase Ramirez
>cousin's friend found the flux capacitor
Caleb Baker
>Dad found the cum poop
John Lopez
>My Aunty's, Cousins, Son twice removed found my porn collection
Charles Rivera
>hot aunt accidentally opened an issue on my bugzilla
Caleb Rivera
>gf found the certificate signing request from my ex-gf
William Ward
>stepmom accidentally the entire repo
Nathan Cox
ITT: things that never happened
Connor Perry
>only friend completes his study proving that he does not exist
Jace Carter
do you really think so user? Surely people wouldn't lie on the internet
David Turner
100% of statistics on the internet are correct and not at all made up
Andrew Collins
>sister plucked one 128 gig RAID0 flash drive for printing, lost it on the way home
>you got 3 more user, what's the big deal?
Dylan Gomez
>mum uploaded pizza stash to the cloud for backup
Grayson Harris
>dad found the furry artwork folder
Bentley Gonzalez
>sister-in-law overwrote the frame pointer
Christopher Wilson
>My two brothers saw me jerking five years ago.
I have not recovered since then.
Joshua James
>accidentally took cunnyphone to work
Matthew Gonzalez
>professor found the foot github
Connor Bell
>2003
>14 y/o me hogging the family computer
>dad gets a $90 bill from a porn website
Landon Garcia
>Neighbor uses 5G
Lucas Jones
>OP made a shit thread
Jaxon Anderson
>dad dropped the database
Camden Perez
>son your father found something called arch on your computer
>maybe you want to say something about this?
Chase Sanchez
>accidentally shared hentai to professors email
Elijah Thomas
you will remember this from time to time for the rest of your life
enjoy
remember kids: you can't fully forget something you don't wish to remember
Aaron Carter
>step-mother thin provisioned the VMs again
Jeremiah Allen
Yeah, but your furry porn backend shit was really lucrative and shows that you're at least okay at C++ right?
Parker Ramirez
>Neighbor's daughter ran ./configure: make; make install
Easton Long
>using bash in 2019
>not rc
>not even ksh
the fuck is wrong with you?
Evan James
>Uncle pushed the GPU in the watt socket.
Jack White
for me it went like this: dad hates windows 10, tells him about linux, now he uses linux
also he likes thinkpads. wait he's one of us
Jaxson Ward
>nearly
so its improving, nice.
Caleb Evans
Listen, you little piece of shit brainlet. I know you think you're being clever, samefagging your own thread like this, but nobody cares about your repo, and it's probably all Java shit that you did in school. I bet you shit all over anyone who brings up Haskell, because you had to take one class about it and got a D. OCaml probably looks like fucking Arabic to you, and you probably don't even know type theory, let alone what a homeotopy is. Your 'clever' memes aren't making anybody chuckle, and while you're dicking around with webdev or whatever, us true chads are writing specification, systems, and compilers. Your puny brain can't even trick out emacs to use Agda. You have no fucking clue what a dependent type even is, and that's babby shit. You're not even ON the lamda cube. Your thread isn't funny, and you will never be a hard-hitting developer. Have fun living in your mom's basement for the rest of your life while the rest of us are dealing with critical systems, you fucking dweeb.
Jayden Gomez
>sister brought my USB killer to the library
Ryder Turner
>Stepmother assisted to Nagoor Babu's Java classes
Easton Moore
>grandpa found out the key for my luks partition
>the one with the nasty stuff
Owen Powell
dude fuck you you autistic retard, nobody thinks this is funny and you're just posting in your own thread. also sage
Elijah Perez