Just fucked up my Amazon interview? Bad interview stories thread?

Let me do it.
Step aside, novice.

>be faggot OP
>sucking dick as usual
>get a call for an interview with Amazon
>arrive, go through metal detectors
>go through mandatory vaccinations
>precautionary onions injections
>they say it's for security so that I may speak to "the king"
>go through with it because I'm faggot OP
>take the elevator down 80 floors with security guards by my sides
>glass elevator, see lots of people working on each floor
>saw one floor full of people like in pic related
>finally get down under
>doors open, smell of burnt lube and latex
>bald prince comes out from the shadows
>security guards near me bow
>Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos, have a seat
>chair appears behind me from thin air
>sit down because I'm faggot OP
>Now then user, let's begin the SQL portion
>How do I view this table here?
>Open my pink pussy lips and whisper,
>SELECT * FROM TABLE;
>The bald shiny Prince smiles and says very good
>Now then user, let's begin the Python portion
uh oh
>have no idea what a Python is
>think it's some kind of snake
Here it comes...
>Now then user, we want to put the blame on this data here for something we might have done...
>get sweaty and blurt out,
>I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS SINPLE QUESTION ABOUT DATA FRAMES
>Bezos frowns
>Is that so...? I see... you are not perfect...
>he turns around and his cape flows behind him
>Goodbye, user. Perhaps another day...
>snaps his fingers
>trapdoor opens from underneath me
>fall down a massive poop chute
Fdooossshhh
>After a long scary smelly slide, I see the light
>A hand!
>Get pulled out of the poo, and rub my eyes to see who saved me
>Hello sir, please do the needful and fuk off
>Sir, you are turning the poo gay, get out
>mfw I'm in India
>go to nearest sweatshop and push pajeet worker out of window
>get on computer to post this experience on Jow Forums
Unironically entirely my fault I should know this

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how do I interview when I have actual autism, my technical skills are fine though

Say you're transgender

dodged a bullet there

>Jow Forums

>interview
>boss spends half an hour explaining what company does and couple of their products
>ask couple of questions about how their products handles this obvious case
>boos looks at tech lead
>tech lead looks at other dude
>they have not even heard about possibility of that happening
>they say some other things that raises red flags
>I do not want to work here.avi
>technical questions start
>first question
>what is the difference between interface and abstract class
>Say I don't know.
>Interview ends right there. Not even joking. It was - "Bye. We will call you if we decide to hire you"
Couple hours later dude I know who works there messages me
>after your question they were sure they will hire you. They are also scrambling to handle that thing.
>but how the fuck did you forget abstract vs interface?!

They did not hire me :(

What degree do you have for the position that got you an interview

data science and you don't know python :D maybe stop believing Jow Forums ? no one has a job here it's just uni rejects

really data science and not using numpy or pandas...wtf

>interviewer: what is a sitemap?
>me: aaamm.. its a geo webapp?
at this moment i stop to webdev forever..

> I don't use python for data manipulation or understand why anyone would

really user, you dont know why anyone would use it? pandas, tensorflow machine learning, all that shit deals with panda. no wonder you flunked the interview. you're a narrow-minded visual basic excel faggot.

>Technical interview with lead dev for a frontend dev position
>Pretty good at all that stuff, barring kludgy algorithms
>"Ok, write a program where multiples of three print 'Fizz', five prints 'Buzz' and three and five prints 'FizzBuzz'.
>I start panicking because WTF math.
>"Uh um... i'm really a front end guy, i'm not sure what the point of the question is. is this something that comes up in your front end dev cycle?"
>"Well, it's an exercise in algorithmic thinking. Let's try another one that might be something you've done before. How about writing a JS function that turns a timecode string into seconds?"
>This is the type of shit that I'd just google or stackoverflow when I needed it, so i tried to talk my way through it, but just kinda gave up.
>"It's ok, you can email me your solutions if you want to work on them a bit"
>Interview ends
>Receive email "You don't have enough experience blah blah"
>Fucking fizzbuzz.

10/10 would read again

i dont even know how the fuck you got your foot in the door if you didnt know python for this position.

i know that feeling

>you MUST use python for ML
>there are NO other alternatives

retard

>you MUST use python for ML
>there are NO other alternatives

pretty much

> everyone uses RoR, Django, PHP or JS to build websites
> but I use C
> people are retarded

this is how you sound

>be me
>have facebook interview for software engineer position
>interviewer asks a merge interval question
>suddenly become retard
>spend whole interview trying to do it
>no time left for behavioral section at the end
>receive email the next day that they chose another candidate
fml

>wanting to work for facebotnet

Good kek

I honestly learned barely anything in school so I probably embarrassed myself more than any of you. I had note sheets and everything and they didn't ask any questions they or people said they would.

What was the exact question user? How many leetcodes did ya do?

My dream is to work at botnet and leave traces of FOSS throughout the codebase, developing some sort of underground network with the ultimate goal of doing the needful.

>Normie females taking the interviews so the moment they see a nerd / fat / neckbeard / squishy / aspergerus maximus guy they look at him with a disgusting face but they aprove all the "fashion devs" with their fancy github and +5000 followers on twitter

>What was the exact question user? How many leetcodes did ya do?
leetcode.com/problems/merge-intervals/
I was stupid because I was reading on glassdoor that people have been asked this question before. It's not even hard, my mind just froze

Doesn't abstract just mean you can have variables and code implemented rather than just a list of methods?

>what is the difference between interface and abstract class
so, what is the difference?

javatpoint.com/difference-between-abstract-class-and-interface

also reminds me
>be me
>2nd year of uni, looking for internship
>apply to bunch of places
>one of them calls back
>show up at interview
>been working out for some time now
>actually look decent
>go to interview drunk and high, but not really fucked up
>hr women greets me
>3/10 blonde thot
>shake hands, move on to interview
>i am sitting really relaxed, and confident
>i genuinely dont give a fuck
>she interviews me
>talks about my position, salary etc
>she is a little flirty
>i ask a few technical questions
>she is unable to answer
>flabbergasted
>she tries to bullshit with corporate jargon
>i keep asking questions because i find her struggling pretty funny
>she is getting flirtier the more i do this
>i move on to coding part with a project manager
>i do pretty good
>except i dont, im unable concentrate because of cocktail of alcohol and thc in my blood
>i answer the questions, but unable to come up with solutions of the required complexity for the harder ones
>shake hands and leave
>2 days later day email me asking about when can i start
>dont answer that because i got another job at a bigger company

>literally just modulo arithmetic and 3-4 small if else statements

Attached: WELL IS IT.png (320x407, 111K)

And the whole bus clapped right?

its a joke 100%, noone is that slow

i took the subway

copypasta, where the original probably was a joke too

>6 months of job search
>nothing
>finally one good company invites me in
>get dressed and head to cafe to amp myself up
>go into waiting area and people are staring at me
>feeling uncomfortable but determined
>beckoned into interview room
>woman sees me and goes "oh, there is no need for that sir"
>"for what?"
>"to take off your shoes"
>i went to an interview with no shoes on

People actually wear shoes to indoor interviews? How disrespectful

>what is a sitemap?
are you fucking shitting me? I knew this shit in the fifth grade, just go to the bottom of any website and it shows all the links on the website organized and layered

That's not a sitemap, user. Sitemaps are what you provide to search engines so that they can, you know, map your site.

> Bad interview stories thread?
I drank coffee right before the interview once. It started to kick in, I became quite agitated and started screaming at the tech guy - not like in rage, but when two people are aggressively arguing with each other. In the end, their ELK stack was quite new to me, so I asked for 60% raise compared to my current salary to compensate for the stressful time when I'm already responsible but have no idea what's going on and should crunch with no end in sight - or I thought it would be like that.
Overall, it's not a failure only because I didn't want the job, went there because they invited me.

> are you fucking shitting me? I knew this shit in the fifth grade
sitemap.xml, you doofus.

I got a job at hot topic because i had guages

then after college i got a job through nepotism with a telecom vender cuz my dad works for a phone carrier. I have a liberal arts degree too lol

Anyway good luck on the interviews guys :^)

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>Don't know python
>Data science

...

interesting, I guess that's the true function of the page. Try it, go to newegg and go to the bottom, you'll find every link to everything on that page

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AHAHAHAHAAHHAHA

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Seriously, don't fall for the "le python is shit xd" memes here on Jow Forums. It's a good language to know in general even if you're just applying to SE positions (Google uses it for a reason) but it's pretty much ESSENTIAL for a data science position.

Why WOULDN'T you want to work for Facebook? Fuck normies and their concern for muh privacy and muh cambridge analytica and muh russian election interference

>so how would your friends describe you?
>uhhhh...

Fucking shit

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>another dream about having a gf
she looked like satania but real
and she tried to shill me on shitty open-source software
she was like "i use kdenlive to make my music because logic pro x is a virus!"
she opened logic pro x and it was in chinese
i was like "that's because you installed a pirated chinese version"
and she said "no it's just set to chinese"

Attached: kot.jpg (572x621, 104K)

I had this same question and it fucking got me
It was also added by "List 3 adjectives"
>they'd describe me as smart but I don't want to say that because I don't want to be full of myself and appear arrogant
>next one I think of is "shy" but why the fuck would I say that in an interview
>can't even think of a third one

>>>come up with some bullshit
>HR lady asks WHY they would say that
>>>"Because, uhhh, they tell me that sometimes?"
>>>Why would they tell you that?
wtf bitch get outta my hair

>she looked like satania
Ooh, nice
>but real
kys

user, interviews exist so that you can sell yourself. Do you see advertisements for an Intel CPU saying the temperature it runs at under load? No, they only say the boost speed

It's not like I chose for her to look like that in my dream.

I can't help but think all advertisements are a dishonest scam and I'd be no better off like that
But yeah that's probably what I'll have to do..

Should've acted more like a robot.

This made me chuckle.
You’re supposed to boast about yourself interviews- don’t over think it!

So don't show up to the interview so sloppy looking that they can smell you through the webcam.

Problem solved faggot.

Tech interviewer here, AMA

Fuck I wish I could find a cushy job that hinged on fizzbuzz

The female hr interviewing me actually looked attractive and had a transparent-ish shirt that clearly showed her black laced frilly type of bra.
The shit fucking distracted me as her breats were big too and I fucked it up. Maybe I should come in speedos next time absolute bullshit

nice

Basically yes

Interface - public static variables plus headers of functions that MUST BE IMPLEMENTED. Clas can inplement multiple interfaces
Abstract - like interface but can have implemented methods. Class can extend only one abstract class though. Can not be initiated on itself.

What company? What's your name? How much do you make?

>Basically yes
Sweet, did I get the job?

Put me in the screencap.

>apply for control systems tech. Position, 75k a year.
>Autisticly talk about my mushroom hobby the entire time.
>Mfw get the job then quit 3 months later.

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>mushroom hobby
Do you grow mushrooms user? Sounds cool

8 months NEET ama.

>expecting work in Amazon
They only care about Data Scientists and IA experts, you cannot work in warehouses anymore

Attached: Screenshot_2019-05-29 Data Science.png (1506x2910, 388K)

why feel sad, you didnt want the job right? you did lie about the interface abstract thing right?

its data science and not ML

also yes, you really dont need to be a python expert to use pandas and stuff but some experience with python, numpy, pandas stack is just basic knowledge

>tfw working in an Amazon warehouse and have an interview for a data center technician position soon

it's just swapping out servers, r-right?

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why u quit

Based

We cannot let these quads go unchecked

this is what i am wondering. OP is being a faggit nigger and wont tell us what degree he has, which is the only reason he got to an interview

To grow mushrooms. You don't have a lot of creative freedom at Amazon. Weird politics.

They dont even do green badges anymore
Blue badge or white

Working from the bottom is near impossible especially in the labor positions like stow or pick

weird i thought the badge thing was mostly in the gov
>fed employees blue
>contractor trash yellow or green

Amazon badging is
Blue for permanent part timers or full time
White for part timers and on call
Green is management
Then they have DSP/Biltmore/Inspire drivers where some weird contractor badge and in the fulfillment centers they have construction workers wear something similar
They're white badges with a stamp on them essentially

>filthy managers who dont do shit get their own badge color
of course they do

>interview for grad position
>technical phone interview
>Choose to use Go because I'm a fucking sperg
>Have to make a calendar system and check if two events clash
>Spend 5 minutes explaining how I'd make a class with time, date and other shit
>Interviewer just suggests I use epoch time and check if there's a clash between two
>Feel like a fucking dunce but continue
>"Do you think you'd need to sort this list of events?"
>Scramble online for Go documentation for sorting
>"Sorry I'm uhhh.... Just checking the documentation"
>Interviewer comes back with
>" Is this what you're looking for?"
>He doesn't even use go
>Gives me sort function
>Use it and eventually solve question with their handholding
>No time for be behavioural
>"Thanks, we'll Lett you know"
>Rejection next day
I've never felt so fucking humiliated

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(Background: I'm a data analytics and finance double major)
I was in an interview for a data analytics summer internship after my sophomore year, and we started talking a but about my interest in computers and some of the things I've done for fun, like building a desktop, playing around with Linux, etc. The interviewer at one point asked me why I chose finance + data analytics rather than CS since I'm so interested in computers, and my response was that I didn't think there was as much upwards mobility in CS as finance, and even if you do get promoted you will be in more of a management position and not actually be doing any cs work yourself. If that's the case I'd rather try to get to the management position as quick as possible instead of starting out as a programmer or SWE and working my way up.

Anyway, rest of the interview goes alright and towards the end he tells me a bit about himself and turns out he's a CS major himself. Didn't really understand how awkward everything I just said was until I got home, but I ended up with a better inter ship anyway do I'm not losing any sleep over this.

How many drunks have you interviewed?

Kek how do you fuck up this much especially over phone

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Unfortunately, he's right. I had to do the same. It's so fucking hard out there. I took a support role at a grocery store, worked my ass off for three months and went way beyond the scope of my job (to demonstrate my capabilities and work ethic), then applied and got a job at the corporate offices.

Think of it as a no-pressure internship. Every little bit you can add value that distinguishes you from the burnout stoner is recognized, and with the high turnover you become more valuable. But don't get cocky and ask for a raise because in reality everyone is replaceable at the associate level. Impress the store director and tell him you're desire to move up. Should be supportive because it benefits you and the company, and the company wants to retain talented people user.

do you have a degree?

upvoted

you forgot firm handshakes

A business degree, but I have good analytical skills compared to your typical business student. Jackass of all trades master of none. And since I have a genuine interest in staring autistically into a spread sheet data long enough to outlast any normie I got the job.

autism is a beautiful thing, isnt it

Its better than measles or polio

>work at engineering firm as IT
>Sit next to HR so I get to see all the resumes and sit on some of the engineers interviews
>Sometimes for office engineering postions we test them on Excel
>One lady couldn't fucking find it on the desktop
>We still hired her
>The firm that took her fired her the first day because she submitted a ticket to their IT for no internet because she couldn't get to Google from outlook
>She was being payed 120k to basically use Excel to input formulas and she couldn't even do that