Long story short, a few years ago I moved to the US from Canada to work at a bigN tech company. Salary is very high compared to what I would make back home. Work is fairly interesting, coworkers are alright, but still the typical office tech job.
As time goes on I am more and more unhappy. I miss being close to my parents and aging relatives. I hate how busy tech hubs like Seattle/Silicon Valley are. I think I want a wife and kids in the future, but cannot see myself meeting someone from here and putting roots down...
Am I being a bitch? Am I retarded for thinking of taking like a 40% pay cut to move back home so that I can potentially find a wife/have kids? Is it a meme that "having a family" will give me fulfillment and I am just deluding myself?
I'm a young late-20s guy, and I just feel like there's more to my fucking life than working and getting paid a lot.
yea this is common with canadian sv expats, you do like 5-10 years and then come back and dunk on everybody because you can actually afford a house while other canacucks are struggling with the impossible wage to real estate price ratio
Matthew Allen
>I make too much money guys WAAH woe is you, fag
Chase Russell
I took a paycut of something like 35% last year but that was to get a job that was more in line with what i wanted to do in the future (cyber). In the end it’s really a decision you have to make yourself user; if you really think you’ll be happy with a family and you can’t make one in your silicon valley-esque location then i would say do it as long as you can remain financially stable during the transition
Hunter Smith
You're not retarded, I went through the same thing. I hate the big city, I hate startup culture, I was making huge money but wasn't happy.
I moved to the country close to my hometown and got a remote job making substantially less but it's still high. Overall I'd say I'm happier although happy is a state of mine
Adam Hill
Just suck it up for 2-5 years if you're actually good at saving (and investing your savings). Then move back with a really good head start on your nest egg.
Watch this shit or go to some reddit FIRE/personal finance subreddit.
Logan Robinson
I had to quit a pretty decently paying job that was just me collecting money every month for software I wrote for a company because their loser sales people spent 0 time making sales and all their time trying to fuck each other over, my software got caught right in the middle of this and despite having proof that it wasn't doing anything wrong, they wouldn't listen. I had to quit because it was a daily situation of opening my inbox and getting blamed by literally everyone because the software was working too well, reports were working and showing who the real producers were. 6 months after I quit they forgot/didn't know how to pay the VPS bill and it got deleted and they lost everything, I got some angry calls and just decided to not return them
It would have been nice to have the free income but it was not worth the stress, I've found much higher paying jobs since then that have no stress at all. I also have gotten so many points by defusing these types of situations at real companies in the future not owned by shitty butthurt ceos that are mad that they can't solve their own problems and someone else had to step up to the plate
Jonathan Lopez
Thanks anons. Really appreciate the perspectives here. I think I will do my best to see if I can stay at least another year and save as much as I can to get a head start on buying a house when I move back to Canada.
Will see what options exist in terms of remote work. Just got super discouraged when I looked at similar roles to what I have now, and realized with the CAD/USD exchange rate I would literally be saying goodbye to 40% a year.
Benjamin Jackson
Yes. I had to spend three hours commuting and the work was so boring I had spend a huge amount of time on personal projects because I really need to feel like I'm learning and accomplishing things. I was getting only a couple hours of sleep a night and not doing any exercise or social activities. It was having a noticeable effect on my mental and physical health. I quit and took a job that pays less, however if I think of that three hour commute as working hours my hourly wage actually went up.
Adrian Rogers
You sound exactly like me. I moved 2000 miles away from home to take a good paying but mind numbing job that I hate. I have virtually no friends here (though I don't have any back home anymore either, but at least my family is there) and spend 100% of my time away from work alone. I gave up the love of my life for this shit too.
I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm sick of IT in general I think, and IT jobs near my home are few and far between anyway. Been thinking about this for years now and still haven't thought of a good solution. But in the end, money definitely isn't everything.
John Miller
this is me except I got a gf who is from the big city and refuses to move anywhere that isn't also a big city, so now I feel trapped to big city life forever
Hudson Sanchez
Make big money and contribute to cool open source projects in your free time. Retire and have a family.
Joshua Wood
As you get older, you're realizing there's more to life than money. That feeling will only get stronger as you progress through your 30s. That being said, you're still a very productive stage of your life. My recommendation would be to save as much money as you can right now in 401k/IRAs or other high return investments. Then once you hit your 30s you can re-evaluate what your next move will be, while being comfortable knowing you have a considerable amount of money saved.
Charles Morgan
>As you get older, you're realizing there's more to life than money. Like what user?
Samuel Butler
Spending time with your family before they die Experiencing things you've always wanted to do before your own health fails (which starts at around 35 if you're lucky btw) Finding a job where your add value to society Trying to add to society in some way that vindicates your struggle
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying money doesn't matter at all, but if you've been doing well for any amount of time you've seen the cracks in the story.
Jason Ward
>Spending time with your family before they die You had the first 18 years to do that >Experiencing things you've always wanted to do before your own health fails Wait until you retire >Finding a job where your add value to society You born in the wrong generation then, because that's what the boomers are currently doing >Trying to add to society in some way that vindicates your struggle Become a soldier then
Working is not hard neither is there more to life that is impossible to experience, you just need to know how to spend your time. I never understand people who complain about working too much "hurr i'm making too much money" Please, there are people who makes a dollar a day, or a month, what more can you ask for?
Unfortunately from the way you paint your outlook on life, my considerable life experience tells me it's not worth debating you. I wish you the best in life though!
Brody Morris
What a jewish post lmao
Carter Martinez
>not working for the first 30-40 years of your life and retiring and enjoying your toil. I bet you guys are the ones who expect fun at your job than the actual work. Learn to save and retire so you don't have to worry about non of the stuff you're worried about now
Brody Ross
t. oblivious
Brayden White
yea just throw away your youth and enjoy yourself once you're a ricketybones skeleton lmao
Carson Miller
FPBP
Jonathan Lee
Enjoy your stroke at 45 I just know too many people who just died early
Leo Anderson
>happy is a state of mine could you share this state, please
Sebastian Sanders
>Am I being a bitch? Am I retarded for thinking of taking like a 40% pay cut to move back home so that I can potentially find a wife/have kids? Is it a meme that "having a family" will give me fulfillment and I am just deluding myself? Life's too short to spend your working life unhappy. Spend some time reading about the regrets that people have on their deathbeds. It should focus your mind.
Chase Bennett
>yes, wait until you’re an old, useless piece of shit to enjoy life
Jeremiah Jones
$75,000 + state with low cost of life
Elijah Thompson
>Spend some time reading about the regrets that people have on their deathbeds
is there like, a book you can namedrop
Kayden Taylor
My wife and I moved to Seattle after having some high paying jobs being dangled in front of us like carrots. One year later we turned around and moved back to the Midwest. The extra money isn't worth dealing with the traffic, homeless, drugs addicts, crime, and lack of wide open spaces.
Two years being back in the Midwest and we now own a 4,000 sqft home, have baby, she gets to work from home as peoplesoft developer, and my office is a 7 minute drive away.
Top 5 regrets in are: 1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. 3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Caleb Russell
>High population density makes people crazy. as someone who has now spent about 2 years in London: yes. people become monsters in cities
At the peak population, most mice spent every living second in the company of hundreds of other mice. They gathered in the main squares, waiting to be fed and occasionally attacking each other. Few females carried pregnancies to term, and the ones that did seemed to simply forget about their babies. They'd move half their litter away from danger and forget the rest. Sometimes they'd drop and abandon a baby while they were carrying it.
The few secluded spaces housed a population Calhoun called, "the beautiful ones." Generally guarded by one male, the females—and few males—inside the space didn't breed or fight or do anything but eat and groom and sleep. When the population started declining the beautiful ones were spared from violence and death, but had completely lost touch with social behaviors, including having sex or caring for their young. "
Camden Rivera
Thanks user. I feel like 1-4 are sort of self evident, it's just whether you execute on them or not. For #5, that's kind of an eternal struggle. Happiness is not really a destination per-se, but something that comes to you on and off depending on whether you've made the right decisions in life.
Dylan Nelson
They're all entirely self-evident! And, despite that, millions go through life in contravention of their most basic instincts—it's a mass psychosis, with most people are consigned (and resigned) to their lot. It doesn't have to be this way if you've the talent to escape it and the self-awareness to see it as something from which to escape.
Brody Howard
This is really interesting to me, as I also moved to Seattle about a year ago and am debating going back to my smaller town. How did you cope with the feelings of "leaving the big leagues"?
Glad it sounds like you guys found your way in life though.
Leo Parker
how to lose your soul to rationalism
Jayden Thomas
Yeah go ahead and force more humans into the miserable existence you're already clawing for meaning in That'll make you feel better
Wyatt Ward
> just don't do the main thing humans are biologically programmed to pursue bro
Lincoln Parker
i was making like 26 an hour in a job i didnt like, walked away and am currently making 12. dont regret it at all am just poor af now
Dominic Russell
>literal npc thinking Beep boop
Jonathan Reed
I remind myself of all the shitty things about living in Seattle. We moved out just before they implemented the sugar tax on drinks. Seattle would be amazing if it wasn't for all the people.
We look back on our time there as a growth period that helped us prioritize what is important to us. Peace, quiet, and wide open spaces. People can sympathize when I tell em' I had to spend 2 hours a day in traffic getting to Renton and back to West Seattle every weekday.
