>ITT: Moronic IT guy stories
I'll start.
>We hire new tech.
>Supposed to be "network administrator" to assist server admins while I was still training for network admin
>Boss comes back after losing a client due to new network admin
>"He asked me: ping whats a ping?"
>He was fired subsequently the day after.
How the fuck can you be a network admin and not know what a fucking ping is Jesus Christ.
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average /b/tard
Maybe they called it something else where he's from.
>Network tech, same guy who never had to use "ping"
>He was setting up a NAS
>Decide to go over to see how he is doing
>"user I can't seem to figure out why this NAS won't populate the RAID."
>Okay show me what you're doing
>Witness him turn off the NAS and immediately pull out a drive and turn it just as the 8tb drive was spinning.
>Makes an audible grinding noise.
>I look at him wide eyed and say nothing with mouth agape
>"Hey what's wrong?"
>Proceeds to turn it on, turn it off, pull out another 8tb drive and turn it which again makes a grinding sound.
where.
>be me
>embedded cuck writing firmware for a pseudo-router
>building's wifi acts up
>IT monkey comes in to check it out
>router hardware laying bare on the desk
>fucker explains to me basic concepts of networking and that i should use an ethernet cable because it's more stable like i'm some sort of retard
>ask him "the RJ-45?"
>"what's RJ-45?"
Nooooooooooooooooopp
Jesus Christ.
KEK, I need the second part.
Already found it
imgur.com
>be me
>work at business
>IT person come to fix printer
>Suggest he deletes System32 from server
>Does it
>Company goes under
>I'm now unemployed
What a moron
This never happened.
Wow what gave it away?
Utica
>hired as senior sysadmin at a company because they turfed the assclown in there before me
>figure out really quick why he was fired
>ridiculously configured AD, and half the computers weren't even connected to AD
>DNS not working
>15+ offices across the country all using 192.168.0.x
>switches plugged into itself because he didn't understand VLAN routing
>20+ TB of fileservers with no backup or file permissions
>all users are in the Domain Admins OU
That's just the tip of the iceberg
hahahah holy shit
Fucking kek, thanks.
You couldn't pay me enough to pay to fix that shit without bankrupting the company with my pay check holy fucking shit.
oh, not in Utica, no, it's an Albany expression.
Why aren’t more women in tech??
How do you even backup 20+tb of data? I've only dealt with smaller businesses of 5-10 employees. Usually I'm able to backup everyone's computer + Server on a couple of 8tb drives. What would happen, like some sort of super expensive NAS on RAID-0 to take advantage of additional storage?
>Lol backup on RAID0
But I just don't see any other way. Like, a full backup being 20tb would require another server entirely. How is this issue fixed?
>15+ offices across the country
They should have redundant servers for their backups at that point, but judging by what user said the company should have imploded long ago anyways.
10/10 read topkek
I'm fucking livid right now
I wouldn't charge for that mainly out of principle.
>be me years ago in helldesk
>biz hires new hd tech
>spergs about powershell
>on his first ticket, a simple new hire request, get the first follow up we've ever received on such a ticket saying that user can't login to his office apps or e-mail
>look at his script
>license.ps1
>give username ms.e3
>u wtf m8
>go into o365 admin center and give the user a license, apologize, and say to try logging into outloom amd etc. in 30 mins
>report hd tech's work
>few more weeks of fuck ups and just general failures to do basic troubleshooting
>new guy fired
Wait was
>give username ms.e3
Seriously all that was in the fucking ps script?
this is why you dont give tier 1 new hires powershell access
Touch nothing.
Document everything.
Build plan to un-fuck network.
Share with management team.
Start actioning plan to un-fuck network.
Realize shit is orders of magnitude more broken than you feared.
Curl up in a corner of the server closed and cry.
This is your life now.
What the actual fuck?
Post sanitized script for the lulz?
I would totally charge for that, mainly out of principal.
>Company wants to create a new website and portal for customers
>Hires a web dev/sysadmin to handle this
>Supposedly has the experience needed
>First day recommends that the company use one of those $15 a month pre-built web builder sites
>Never see them again
I can just hear it in my head.
>Just use X it's a website builder it's really good I heard about it in a LTT video!
this
Linus does good work but yeah, those web frameworks are subject to the stability of that company, which means and entire system could be down just because some fuck screwed up an ocean away.
At the very least his videos are (usually) entertaining but fuck those 20000 frameworks and their advertising.
Lol I mean usually I just smile and flip the switch, tell them no charge and to refer us if they ever need computer service. This causes other customers to come at a later time and more money to be made with legitimate concerns.
Yet if 1 person happens to feel like they've been wronged, that person being wronged would go out and tell everyone how horrible their experience was and people might actually believe them. Just not worth the $60 to do that.
>Like, a full backup being 20tb would require another server entirely. How is this issue fixed?
another server entirely, sometimes the backup is larger than the hot storage, especially if you have to keep certain numbers of disks offline for compliance
real chad companies go for those big tape libraries that look like walk-in closets but are actually full of tapes and a huge robotic arm that will kill you if you enter them while they're on
otherwise cloud, like aws or azure, but only if you're in the ~hundred terabyte range, much more than that and you've gotta have it local if you want to keep your recovery times reasonable
Jesus that is fucking expensive as shit. I probably would have done it as a nas. But even with another server, how honestly do you possess multiple backups of 20tb of data? Wouldn't that be impossible even with another server?
The IT at my workplace are complete idiots.
>work starts getting more spam emails
>IT decides the best course of action is to completely disable receiving/sending zip files despite it being part of our work
>anytime we collaborate with others we now use an alternative email addresses instead of going through the whole song and dance of explaining why we can’t receive their files
Also, you can simply rename the .zip extension to .xzip or anything and it will send fine, the stupid fucks.
Another one
>IT dumbass comes in to install some software for one employee I’m working with
>asks me what software we will need
>tell him to install python
>what’s that?
And shit like this is why IT people are seen as janitors
software abstraction, the companies that sell these big backup libraries ship them with software that basically shows you a big 'backup' button and a list of every time you have previously hit that button
the machine takes care of swapping tapes and keeping track of what data is where
likewise if you're using nas, you probably have a raid that you're sending snapshots to or youre just writing snapshots or datasets to individual disks then pulling and storing them manually, all depends on your scale and budget
Okay this is upsetting
If you're smart, you'll pay another company to manage your DR and Backups.
If they're smart they'll use Veeam and work the magic of deduplication.
>Relying on a third party for your backups
Can you tell me your name please? So I make sure we will never hire anyone that even shares a name with you cause holy shit nigga.
I don't know what faggot dirthole universe you exist in, but third party DR and Backups are common place for both SME and enterprise.
It's worth it to me.
It's not like there's a shortage of idiots.
shhhh they'll stop paying people like me to install / check backups if you toss them logic.
No seriously please fucking tell me your name, because I was the guy hired to unfuck the mess retards like you created by your great outsourced backups and DR and I don't feel like doing that again any time soon. And if your only arguments are muh university and muh SME/ Enterprise then please fuck back off to where you belong, .
Customers / internal IT teams are 95% useless, it's why MSPchads win.
Listen, outsourcing did not create that problem. The IT manager did. From what you've said he was a lazy and retarded shit - outsourcing enabled it, but did not cause it.
If you believe you're better off manging and creating support configurations for your DR and Backup products then good luck to you! Because your supplier sure won't care if your critical VMs were backed up by someone without the certs.
>support
*Supported
He probably has RPOs/RTOs that are measured in days
The not-so-funny part about this whole shit is, that's how things go EVERYWHERE.
In EVERY profession.
It's not just IT.
>>give username ms.e3
?
You mean username should be actual username like 'Bob' or what?
This entire thread reads like assblasted boomers posting their daydreams after an IT guy inconvenienced them for a few minutes and what we see in front of us is the powerhouse of Jow Forums's fiction department.
It's either that or all of your companies need to scale down their pants on head hiring initiative.
>be me on internship
>the only IT guy in the company is a boomer
>network is a horrible clusterfuck made 10 years agi by a guy who is not here anymore
>absolutely no documentation
>boomer is supposed to remember everything
>he doesn't remember anything
>can't do any network operation beside ping
>I learned him about fucking tracert
>WAN goes down
>nobody knows why
>WAN goes up
>nobody knows why
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>be me
>first week as an IT tech for a big firm, 10 of us for 15k of them
>one day receive a call, "welp ! i can't log in"
>remotely i go over everything
>normal questions about the keyboard and stuff, nope not that
>unlock the account multiple times
>change her password(2 or 3 times)
>ask her to type it
>as slowly as possible i go over every goddam letter because apparently she can't type ( "a" as in "alpha", "d" as in delta, etc...)
>remote access that shit i log in perfectly but she still can't and keeps locking the account.
>I finaly decide to log in for her again, open a random txt file and ask her to type so we can both see the problem
>she proceeds to type random letters
>she says "Oh the letters have changed !"
>Fucking pranksters changed her whole keyboard and she didn't notice ONE thing.
>proceed to get chewed out by boss because SLA is 5min per call, and the call ended up being around 11min.
I've got 2 years worth of other stories, like the most unqualified IT person you've ever seen (legit didn't know a thing), or all the bullshit people put you through because of their mistake and they don't want you to know...
What a stupid SLA for helldesking, the account manager needs to hang.
I bet weeks.
India of course
All IT guys are morons who are too stupid to learn programming. Case dismissed.
woah
true
>makes a case
>dismisses own case
Must be a programmer thing.
India they call it a poong
>Get Call from customer
>that they need to establish a vpn between datacenter and india
>US tech guy who's admin for the the corp calls me and tells me we need to debug the connection
>explains to me that we need to change all locations connecting to the data center over vpn
>crypto is 3des sha and a 8 letter password
>same password for all international sites he administrates
>have to downgrade several "failed" connections because he thought it would be good to use ONE profile for everything
>still fails the main task up hooking up the vpn to india because he cant figure out the gateway IP
im not sure but there seems to be a general lack of education in the US
>more spam emails
based
here's another one:
>boss asks me to address spam problem coming in through contact forms
>I give them the special treatment, fully bot-proof and still without captchas
>proof of efficacy: all the shared inboxes suddenly receive more spam
>no more spam coming through the contact forms :^) you're welcome
>IT decides to do something about the spam problem
>tfw they set up a new account, ask everyone to forward spam there, and someone manually reviews it
>to this day I receive > 3 emails every day asking me in czech to buy computer parts
actually rj45 is not a cable
>try to explain to this retard that he could minimize losing connection if his machine was directly connected with a cable
>retard smugly looks me in the eye and asks "the RJ 45?"
>"what's RJ 45? I ask trying to lead the moron to the error of his ways without hurting his feelings. Everyone knows Rj45 is the connector not a cable.
>stares back at me gaze devoid of any thought
>work ICS
>doing inventory at a plant
>see a bunch of yellow lights on a switch
>seems the network is a mix of PVST, MST and ISL
>ask the local guys what happened
>user, we did what we were supposed to. We called help desk, but they said they didn't have an on-site resource
>find out that they have been borrowing already configured switches from other sites
>the talented engineer who is responsible for the network prefers VLAN 1 for everything.
>schedule fix for next maintenance cycle in spring of 2020
Lol
Bro, I have single backup jobs over a petapybe. And I am nothing, to the backup companies. Literally a medium business. Also try looking up the basics of backups, you don't take a full backup every day. You take sequential backups which only log the changes, and you have dedupe and compression. So yes the first backup is 20tb, but the second is probably 2 and after that and after that smaller, as dedupe and other stuff kick in.
But ya we have like 3 million dollars in isililon, and pay around 40k a month in aws glacier fees for backups. And again we arent huge.
>twisted pair
I've been addicted to watching LTT videos for the last week. Please help.
I feel bad for you
Can't be real
I refuse to believe this is anything but a made up story
I don't even know you
It's 100% true. I swear to god. We joke about it to this day. Company had to RMA both drives and get new ones. It was a nightmare task that was supposed to be quick and easy.
You're not even me
Just watch them fail at liquid cooling an entire room full of PCs by daisy chaining a bunch of radiators on the roof lel
I'm not even (You)
It's a spec
trips of truth
conf t
int vlan 1
shut
I see this everyday. I just accepted that people can't accept the truth
I'm a noob that can barely compile.Firefox and made me cringe so much
if that happeend in workplace i worked in, the 'pranksters' i would ensure never work in the bussiness again. things are flaky enough without 'pranks' .. a 'prankster' would be fired on the spot.
>sequential backups
incremental backups
Time and overhead aren't free. 60 bucks is chump change and she should be grateful. Only particularly stupid boomers think 60 clams is real money.
Ya sorry, drunk, out with vendors.
>Calling latency "ping"
neither do i, but there's nothing more cringe than LTT
Who am I?
I know you are, but what am I?
wait... WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?!?!
His old videos were great. When he angle grinded the I/O plate of a 980ti to make it a single slot card.
Tape library. A single LTO7 tape holds about 5TB and there's already even bigger LTO8 tapes being sold. The smallest library holds eight tapes. Then make tiers of backups. Most likely not all of the 20TBs change daily or even weekly, so you only need to make differential backups daily, full backup of important current stuff weekly and complete 20TB backups maybe monthly.
Backups are cheap compared to data loss or a disaster.
>calling ICMP packets ping
>Because your supplier sure won't care if your critical VMs were backed up by someone without the certs.
That's why you pay them protection fees for support.