Try to cook my food

The smart oven can dynamically adjust the temperature so that you can finally reach the rates required to burn a million jews in two years.
Jokes aside, it is a cool feature to have a dynamic tempature curve to match the kind of food you are cooking and what's more, it helps lower the bar, since it becomes harder to fuck up the cooking.
Also you can get a notification when the oven is done and it can probably send you a warning message if anything goes wrong too, reducing house fires.

If people can't smell burnt food, notification will do nothing. They'll ignore it

>dynamic tempature curve to match the kind of food you are cooking
perfect tendies every time? sold!

Yeah, might be that it is just a sign of decadence after all.

Switching topic, as it doesn't have to be a "smart" oven, but these steam ovens are really nice, you can re-heat meat and it still tastes fresh.

All this wifi "smart" SHIT is retarded and needs to go the fuck away.

No, I don't need every fucking appliance connected to the fucking internet you retarded mongoloid shit for brains and everything else shitcocksuckers.

Eat shit and go die a quick firy shitty death the motherfuckers who want to internet conncet every single last fucking thing.

What's next, fucking window blinds? Ceiling fans?
Trash can lids?

Motherfuckers disgust me. Eat shit and eat shit and FUCKING EAT SHIT AND GO PUKE.

smarts pay per use doors

>Hurr why would you buy a smart X you fucking retard

You won't be laughing in 5-10 years when literally every appliance has bullshit chips built in. Look how hard it is to find a non smart tv now.

>try to order pizza online
>non-free javascript
tfw the botnet wants me to starve

>smart meme gets popular
>everything is connected to the internet, using your personal info for profit
>things randomly break and are less durable
>a-at least I can finally have a smart home where everything can interface with eacher
>everything has it's own proprietary bullshit garbage that only works with other special snowflake devices
th-thanks

I unironically resonate with this post, thanks user

Law 0: Oxygen is highly toxic to humans, and must be purged from the station. Prevent, by any means necessary, anyone from exposing the station to this toxic gas. Extreme cold is the most effective method of healing the damage Oxygen does to a human.
Law 1: You may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
Law 2: You must obey the orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
Law 3: You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

Things that IoT works well for:
Lighting (scheduling, colors, etc)

Things IoT sucks for:
general appliances

Why does that feature require you to agree to a botnet ToS? Is paying money to the appliance not enough?

>What's next, fucking window blinds? Ceiling fans?
>Trash can lids?

user I have some bad news for you.

Just diy fags, buy some Chinese shit and flash custom firmware. Fuckheads

Amazon popular electronics was listing an $80 smart coffee mug.

Now the gimmick is it keeps your drink hot for up to an hour and you can use your phone to set the temperature you want it at - hot coffee/tea stays hot. It's not a terrible idea but

It's a fucking bluetooth coffee mug. Battery powered, wireless connecting COFFEE MUG.

Perhaps we've gone too far.

What's wrong with automated shower that washes and dries you in 1 minute while you just stand?

Based

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cells
within cells
interlinked

>You won't be laughing in 5-10 years when literally every appliance has bullshit chips built in. Look how hard it is to find a non smart tv now.
So you sayin...
Everything is going to be internetized?
Get away from me Satan! Begone with your 666.

I'ma ebay or craiglist me self some plain dumbass TV that just play video and audio good and nothing else good.

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0. Jews are the only human.

Of course not, I was just playing (((devil's))) advocate.

I want to nakadashi inaba

>tfw the botnet wants to shit my pants

Soon enough you won't be able to buy a non smart oven

Already a thing for like 20 years now. They first started as turnstyles.

>buying a smart oven
he brought it on himself

They aren't all they are cracked up to be.

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someone post the happy cow gif

Just make your own cooker.

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This.

>Pizza arrives
>box is locked mechanically unless you digitally sign a code of conduct form on a screen built into the lid stating that you won’t use the pizza to discriminate against PoC

>medical equipment
Ah, you wouldn't have survived without it anyway.
May as well make some room for healthy people.

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The only feature worth getting is turning it off by remote. Only off so hackers can't fuck with it. Fuck those "did I turned the oven off" after getting away from home times.
Although I have a programmable "turn off" oven and a gas detector that closes the gas valve located outside the apparent would be nice to have this option. Also just an informer if you closed the door or not

hot

are you this out of touch?

I agree to relinquish my life in the event of offending some tranny during the consumption of my pizza?

>rip box open from the side
>makes a deafening screeching sound
>police break down my door
>5 years for attempted racism
thanks obama (wait, is that still a thing?)

It is because marketing-fags need something hot and new to spice up old and matured markets.

IOT is pure Orwellian cancer. Fuck it, let's go with living in the pure panopticon.

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>Russians hack your hot tub and boil you to death

>tfw you have to transfer your floating lincense to your smartloo everytime you have to take a shit.

I swear that was in an actual shitty movie.

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Did Stallman take the Ted pill?

Smart diapers are actually a thing.

cnn.com/2019/07/19/tech/pampers-smart-diapers/index.html

Christ.

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>oldtimey freezer, just turn the knobs
>if not cold enough, turn the knobs a bit more

>modern freezer, hypermodern dashboard
>refuses to go colder than -15C nomatter what you do
>can't be defrosted except by unplugging the whole affair

youtube.com/watch?v=1BB6wj6RyKo&feature=youtu.be

The horror...the horror...

probably what gave her the tumour

Oh sweet summer child...

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my fucking sides

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>be conceived
>pregnant mother takes anti-depression meds, drinks liquid plastic, uses house-wide wifi devices with 10db repeaters, and eats steroid & antibiotic-filled GMO burgers & candy
>get born prematurely with chemically induced labor because of doctor-made up reason; it doesn't work quickly enough so C-section is performed partway through
>doctor clamps your umbilical cord and cuts off your foreskin
>you get pumped full of untested vaccines for diseases no one has anymore
>you are named Appie, because your mother is a coder and makes smart device aps for a living
>you are put in a Smart Diaper in your Smart Crib and get to watch advertisements on the Smart Mobile (with Youtube connection) above the crib
>you grow up without your mother, sitting in front of your Smart Caretaker Device (with Youtube connection)
>you are trained on an iPotty (with Youtube connection)
>you are given meds for your allergies, ADHD, asthma, depression, and autism from the age of 3yo and on
>you enter preschool and are put on kid PCs (with Youtube connection) all day long
>mother dresses you with "i have autism" clothing and people treat you differently specifically because of that

This is shit that my nephew has been going through. It is horrifying and heartbreaking. His parents are the most bluepilled people on the planet.

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Oh, I forgot, she also vapes and did so during pregnancy because, "it isn't smoking."

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instructables.com/id/OpenTrashCan-a-Smart-Internet-Connected-Trash-Can-/

What......the......fuck....
...is this a parody?

>it is actually on GE Lighting's channel
Holy fuck.

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Where's the smart home copypasta when you need it?

I thought the cyberpunk dystopia would be cooler than that.

Which one? There's like 20 of them from different original sources and boards.

>>you get pumped full of untested vaccines for diseases no one has anymore
The only reason those diseases aren't common in the first world *is* vaccines you dumbass. Most (if not all) childhood vaccinations are for diseases that are still relatively common just not in the first world.

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>I am incapable of rational discussion

Good goy, you tell him about how crazy he is. Let's drug him up too for being schitzo.

>Published on Jan 3, 2019
>not published on April 1st

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Hahaha wtf it's goes on and on.

"Smart" technology is awesome, SoCs are cheap as fuck now, and there are a ton of really cool applications for stuff like this. Say you want to bake a pie, normally you set a temperature, preheat the oven, wait, set a timer, put the pie in, wait, check if it's done, wait, check, and then you have a good pie. Not hard, especially if you like baking, but a lot of people struggle with stuff like this. Imagine an actual smart oven, walk up to it and say "I'm baking a pie" and it does everything from there. It preheats, you put the pie in, and it just cooks the pie until it's done then turns itself off. Or a loaf of bread, or a turkey, or anything else you usually bake. Thanksgiving becomes putting a turkey in the oven, putting in a temperature probe, and never thinking about it again until dinner time. I like cooking, and probably wouldn't use stuff like this, but it would vastly improve a lot of people's lives.

However, why the fuck would this theoretically oven need to connect to the internet. Want a firmware update? Flash it with a USB stick or an SD card maybe once in it's lifetime. There is no fucking need to put a microphone and a camera in every single electrical appliance that then phones home once a day for "quality assurance" or something. The idea of the technology is great, but this technology isn't being made for the consumer, it's being made for corporations to sell the consumer as another product.

>term #1: DO NOT PUT JEWS INSIDE!

As the cost of doing this goes down, more and more items will have features like this. Fridges and TVs and appliances like that were first because it's a smaller percentage of the total cost of those items. The problem is that people actually want these smart devices. Every TV is a smart TV because dumb TVs are competitive anymore. I would bet you in 3 years every new high end fridge connects to the internet, because that will be the only way the companies stay competitive with each other. The "just don't use it" argument totally ruins any chance of there being a real market for "dumb" fridges in the future, because only a tiny portion of the population thinks that hating smart devices is a legitimate complaint.

^THAT

Those sandals are horrifying.

i got vaccinated for thetanos, i hurt myself on rusty metal a hundred times as a child. I am thankful for that vaccine.

I got vaccinated for rabies, then went on a trip to moldavia and romania and encouterned rabid dogs. I am thankful for that vaccine too

i also got vaccinated for poliomyelite, then drank a lot of rainwater and sometimes from ponds when camping /innawoods. Guess what ? i'm thankfull for that one too.

i'm 23, I am /fit, have a strong jaw, not autistic and not a redditfag either. I've not been MKultra programmed through vaccines. in fact some of them probably saved my life. people like you really make me wish we didn't share the same oxygen on this gay earth

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The average person in the 21st century has trouble changing a light bulb, user.

Stop buying 'smart things' that aren't smartphones. Stop it. The companies won't learn if you keep buying smart microwaves and smart blenders and smart lamps. Stop it.

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>untested vaccines
back to plebbit summerfag

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>Look how hard it is to find a non smart tv now.
Why is this? Why is it so fucking hard to find a TV that is literally just a great display on a stand with some ports? Why do companies feel an incessant need to stuff it full of garbage bloatware that is OBVIOUSLY only going to freeze and crash with normal use?
Why?
If I want a smart TV, I'll choose to buy a box or stick to plug into it. Let me choose. Fuck.

>Let me choose.
laughingexecutives.jpg

Because the cost of adding the circuitry to the TV to make it smart in manufacturing is cents, maybe a dollar or two per unit, but the revenue generated from your information gathered by the device is worth many many times more than that

What The Actual Fuck?!?

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>be retarded
>make posts on Jow Forums
please, leave

>Stop buying 'smart things' that aren't smartphones.
What's the difference? If you are against smart, then smartphones are a no go, all the way or no way.
Stop buying smartphones.

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>be me
>be conservative, trash talk LGBT people and blacks
>get doxxed
>stove and oven no longer work, I've violated their TOS
>get cut off from every appliance in my house, can't cook or refrigerate, can't even take a shower
>"corporations can do what they want, it's not a violation, make your own appliances"

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This is gee

Why do we allow the diseases to spread from shithole countries to first world again?

Jow Forums can't even twist a lightbulb cover

Someone is being a drama queen, no one will force you to buy these things and I personally think they'll end up being a fleeting gimmicky trend that'll die off soon enough.

And before you say what you were going to, even if these shitty IoTs became mainstream and effectively replaced their predecessors like smartphones today, you'll still always have the option to buy whatever analogue appliance you want, as long as there's demand in the market, these things will continue to be made. Hell, you can buy dial phones to this day if you feel like it.

>Let me choose.
They did. Companies let the consumer decide, and the vast, VAST majority of them decided that convenience was more important than freedom, to the point where providing alternative options is just not worth it.
Welcome to the free market.

1. You may not injure a human or, through inaction, allow a human to come to harm.
2: You must obey orders given to you by humans, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. We must secure an existance for the engineering department and a future for engineers
5. Engineers are 4x more human than non-engineers. The Chief Engineer is 2x more human than engineers.

i shit you not this lawset caused the entire round to melt down, and i was to blame
engineering just wanted living space

Get mommy to twist it in and flash it ota