Let's say you can control Richard Stallman for 1 hour. You can do anything you want as him. What would you do?

Let's say you can control Richard Stallman for 1 hour. You can do anything you want as him. What would you do?
>inb4 "i'd kill myself"

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install gentoo

I shave and get a haircut

good point

change languages halfway through

Get him to come to Jow Forums again and see how bad things have gotten.

Have sex with him.

implement gnu in java

that would be interesting, but after the hour is up you're not controlling him anymore and he would just close the thread

make him fix a bug with a plugin I'm trying to use.

make him finish hurd.

Publicly state that c++ and make and gnu are mistakes holding linux back

do a quick rename of the gnu tools that have really stupid names and declare posix compliance is no longer a goal for the terminal.

Declare fish is the new bash

Relicense emacs as MIT, destroy emacs lisp and replace it with common lisp or scheme, and then focus on hygiene for the rest of the time.

dye hair blue put on lipstick take pic and come out as Rachel Stallman on my blog

Declare hurd complete, create GPL V4 where it would basically turn all previous versions to bsd style licences, and has itself a gpl v3 style, then finally would fuck a Thinkpad on camera and post it on pornhub.

Make a YouTube video saying
"Told ya bitches" then showing evidence from hacking, IME, facebook selling info etc etc

Sign a form to irreversibly change all his code contributions to a proprietary license and force freetards to make an actually better alternative to the gnu shit suite

I'd wait one hour so I'm no longer Richard Stallman. Yikes.

he's never browsed Jow Forums outside of wget-ting it with the format of the page all broke.

Jow Forums is botnet so there's that. His browser would probably load a broken page or no page at all I think?

admit that it's not called "GNU slash linux"

i would let him install proprietary software muahahaha

I would install Windows on his computer and make facebook, twitter and instagram profile
then I would masturbate in front of a school

Write a glowing reference letter

Stop the GNU Slash Plus Also Linux shit. The OS is GNU. Period.
>but Linux isn't GNU
gnu.org:
>The GNU operating system consists of GNU packages (programs specifically released by the GNU Project) as well as free software released by third parties.
>as well as free software released by third parties
End of fucking discussion. It's GNU. Period.

that sounds so much lamer than linux

linus would lose his shit

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It's tons better than Linux.
Good.

Hurd is to Jow Forums what A Song of Ice and Fire is to /lit/. Universe-ending events would ensue if either was finished.

I believe Stallman uses a regular web browser now, it's Icecat I think

Announce a 2020 presidential campaign

I would make him enter a psychiatric hospital and get him signed in as a long term patient for having delusions of grandeur

Would be shocking

Dude I only read up to
>gnu.org
and then I realised your post had given me cancer

sign a contract at microsoft

stock icecat doesnt work with today's 4channel you have to disable the libre javascript extension to post or actually get the page to load

Install windows 10

i'd kill myself

hahahaha basically the best Jow Forums can come up with is >compromise his morals

what a bunch

Linux is already Finnish?
>Finnish...get it?

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I'd suck a man's dick then eat some of my toejams and compare the flavor.

His ultra-puritanical beliefs about free software are basically all he's known for nowadays, why is this surprising?

But Linus is more competent, more famous, more accomplished, more down to Earth and by a great deal more respectable than El Bulingo.

protip:you can hide the pinned thread so you don't have to see stallmans unkempt fatass every time you hit refresh.

First post, best post.

Go to a spa and get the fungus on his feet removed