Jow Forums Humor Thread

Caffeinated Edition

Attached: coffee-bootloop.gif (624x1230, 3.79M)

well why did you put it in a boot loop

EPIC


I'll be sure to share this one on reddit!

probably pushed the retard button to many times

why the fuck does a coffee machine need a fucking OS? It brews coffee.

wHy Do ReDdItOrS wRiTe LiKe ThIs?
Also go back retard

Boot media starting to fail, causing the kernel to not load correctly.

wHy do CoFfEe mAkErS nEeD aN oS?

Everything needs an operating system to operate. Sure didn't need to be linux tho.

HoW AbOuT YoU LeArN SoMe BaSh FuCkiNg NiggEr

Attached: df90d63186388cb703c51172ded2bcb0-imagejpeg.jpg (460x370, 26K)

more evidence that you shouldn't boot something that would fail to boot, then, leave it on it's a coffee machine you don't need to update the java runtime or whatever facebook app that thing runs these days to get likes or up toots what ever coffee machines are up to these days

>Hardware fails
>FUCKING SOFTWARE

My coffee peculator gets plugged in and makes my coffee fine. I get that these new fangled fucking coffee machines have the ability to program alarms, etc. But such a stupid problem to have. Don't fix what ain't broken.

My guess? Common platform for basic functions, like selecting cup size, brewing temp, and showing you if something broke.
Save for water temperature, everything is much easier to build and debug in software, instead of an FPGA or ASIC card.

Attached: Screenshot_2019-08-26 The very distinctive writing style of the Redditor.png (1084x479, 61K)

>peculator

you know what I meant fuccboi

Should have used a professional grade OS like windows 10

>fuccboi
god i wish

Then put windows on your onions dispenser you fucboi

Why do people use a percolator? It always felt to me like a "make a shit ton of coffee" kind of machine rather than a "make some coffee for myself" kind of machine.

not at all. You can make as much or as little coffee as you'd like. Coffee percolators make their coffee by constantly cycling the boiling water through the coffee grinds over and over where standard drip pots only put the water through once. Properly made percolated coffee is usually much stronger

>®eddit

yes, this is a leddit thread

Attached: reddit spacing.png (992x180, 19K)

Redditors have a very distinctive style of writing, just like women. For like 95% of them, it's painfully obvious if you're reading something written by a woman or by a redditor.

Why are normalfaggots so fucking stupid?

Let's play spot the newfaggot: you.

"Reddit spacing" is a term, created by redditors, sometime after 2016 or 2017. In the rest of the world and for the previous 40 years of using a fucking computer, it was called "formatting your shit so people can fucking read it".

Double spacing on Reddit doesn't double space, it adds a single line break. Reddit spacing
looks like
this
you
fucking
retard

Did you just copy-paste that in preparation? Seriously, I just copy-pasted and googled this crap and the first thing that comes up is:
> reddit
First off, moments after my post got through, you decided to make a 'I am better than you' post which is basically a copy-pasta. Seriously, I'm not impressed especially how you're just plagiarizing at this point.

They're designed to automate everything and have no user interaction beyond pressing a button, because they're meant for offices, waiting rooms, etc. where retards might break the machine if they have to do anything themselves.

Real answer:
Executives want to tell investors they have a cool new product they're working on that will "change the game" or put them on "the cutting edge" or whatever other buzzwords they can think of to con investors to pour millions into the company.

Ubuntu? Am I reading that right? Why the fuck would you put Ubuntu on a coffee maker?

4/5 on the reddit writing style. Spend more time there, my young friend, and you'll learn their manner of speaking to such a fine degree that you'll fit in with even the most wide-mouthed, balding manchild

Why not? It's a pretty lazy way to solve a problem

Worse, it's Ubuntu 15.04.
They could have used an LTS version, or even CentOS. But no, they used a short cycle desktop distro FOR PRODUCTION SYSTEMS.

Yeah, but that can be done with a very small micro and a few physical buttons and indicators rather than a touchscreen. A Keurig isn't running Linux, because there is no need. It's a very simple control system.

>Real answer:
Accurate.

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. That seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. This was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle.

Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox.

Edit2: thanks for the gold kind stranger

I've seen people shove whole raspberry pis into production equipment with whatever distro they felt like using. Small scale manufacturing and design is whack.

Because it takes less time to use an existing overkill computer with an existing overkill OS rather than to use a computer that does EXACTLY what you need it to do and program it to do EXACTLY that, because you'd also have to program all the code to initialize the CPU, load the main program, start the display, display literally anything, and so on. You can cut out some of that code by hardwiring things into the chips but that takes even more time to design right and means you have even more dumb custom parts you have to make.

They could’ve atleast gone with Debian Stable and it would’ve been the same amount of effort.

Attached: linux.jpg (500x680, 69K)

absolutely vile

Attached: 1514663192357.jpg (675x450, 59K)

The reason people call it reddit spacing is because the person is supposedly so used to posting on reddit that they use 2 line breaks every time they want a new line. Good job completely missing the entire point and making yourself look retarded.
Make sure you understand what you speak about next time.

saved

>what is a microcontroller
lmao

It's faster to use Linux than to create a whole-ass OS for an embedded device like this, though it used to be that you had no choice but to do so.

Why the fuck would you roll out an ASIC for a fucking $50 coffee machine???
Any $3 mcu can do the job.

>Coffee machine
>Java

My sides

wholesome

>Someone too stupid to implement something
>GRRR THIS IS WHY LINUX BAD M$ GOOD

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in ceiling fan.

would take me maybe a day or two, so in production quantities above 1000 it would be more profitable.

I remember when redditque was pushed and threads on /b/ had porn of the little rascals.

Attached: 1560111921202.png (1280x720, 254K)

Have you really never worked with discrete/integrated circuits and microcontrollers?
I can guarantee the electronic component of that coffee machine could be implemented with a handful of jellybean parts.

Arduino doesn't need an operating system to operate unless you consider the hardware to be such.

I appreciate your input, but just like the other guy you clearly have no knowledge of microcontrollers.

Microcontrollers are harder to program than taking a raspberry pi and writing a python script. Also you won't be able to easily drive a display like the one in OPs pic

embedded system programming is hard. like, even harder than designing a circuit. just throw ubuntu on there with some python scripts and ship it out. thats what all the cool kids do

i tried so hard to read that but i couldnt do it and now my nose is bleeding

Attached: 4582586_0.jpg (630x630, 54K)

The display is a bunch of bullshit, likely a FAR worse UI than a few buttons. It's a fucking coffee machine.
If you REALLY want the touchscreen, off the shelf modules exist which can be driven with a micro.
>Microcontrollers are harder to program
Webshitter detected.

>embedded system programming is hard.
I'm not sure how, but sometimes I forget Jow Forums is full of retards.
It's no harder than anything else, unless your education was "watched tutorials on YouTube". I made several projects more complex than this machine could possibly be FOR FUN back in school. It's like a few days of hard work. A week if you're fucking around a bit.

Go black

Attached: 1544016894569.jpg (540x960, 56K)

>fucking software defined water boiler
you got what you fucking deserved dumbass

Machines like the one in OP usually do a lot more than a Keurig does though, they spit out lattes and cappuccinos and stuff, and usually give the user various options like how sweet they want the drink and so on.

I mean, if you had the choice between having the dev team spend time reading documentation for the CPU and other components that make up the motherboard and using a kernel that already has support for all that hardware built in, the choice is clear.

this is what happens when you don't run based solaris

>Java
Here's you (You)

You can do all of that with a $0.50 microcontroller and some bits of scrap wire.

Alright then go ahead and tell the group how an arduino (or any uC for that matter) needs an OS.

It was based on some unfunny spongebob meme of pic related

Attached: 7B25D1C5-7CDE-4B21-AD99-17A504DC927C.jpg (502x353, 43K)

Porting Linux to a custom board with some weird MCU is probably harder than just writing bare metal software.

looks like hardware failure

Attached: rc cola.jpg (670x927, 90K)

Realer answer: The engineers were jeets or chinks with no experience with real time OSes

EXCUSE ME SIR DURGA IS CERTIFIED REAL TIME JAVA EXPERT

You still need to write a board support package(Or some other new shit) for Linux and that requires reading docs.

>REAL TIME JAVA

That's good cause I want my coffee NOW

Attached: 1563170818975.gif (200x267, 858K)

Code?

There was a decrepit old coffee vending machine at my college that was certainly older than me and didn't need to run fucking Ubuntu.

Jesus Christ. Way to piss off your mostly southern customers.

She cute. Who is she?

Yeah but people wanted to space their text out before reddit, we should really have some ancient archive or screencaps to compare it.

We do. The "reddit spacing" meme is just a tactic reddit users use to deflect attention away from their telltale post styles.

>Let's play spot the newfaggot: you.
Looks like you projected too quickly faggo.

No, it doesn't. My coffee maker has a switch on the front. That switch connects electricity to a heating element. Hot water rises, and boiling water pours from the water tank over my coffee beans. Coffee ensues. There is no operating system. There is a button.

Not surprised, I've seen a lot of people complain about java on Linux.

You can do all of those without anything more advanced than a bimetallic strip. No controllers, micro or not.

>using a machine

Attached: you disgust me.jpg (298x217, 27K)

It was $10, it can make rice, and it fits on my counter. It makes precisely enough to fill my big travel mug for a commute or road trip. It's the $30 chinkphone of coffee pots.

sudo apt install cups

One word: juicero

mom cancel my appointments arch broke the coffee maker again!

Looks like someone forgot the Java dependencies

Attached: Carlos.png (350x350, 138K)

You're late, Carlos.

Juicero was a failure and a warning not an instruction manual

Attached: A Normal Microsoft Word story.jpg (1835x1347, 1.91M)

Coffee machine run by macros when?

so it's a hardware fault having nothing to do with the OS.

>The display is a bunch of bullshit, likely a FAR worse UI than a few buttons.
Couldn't agree more. I absolutely hate how everything from fridges to ovens need touchscreen interfaces these days just because retards think it's modern. Analog interfaces are absolutely superior whenever there's no need to the interface to change over time.

I haven't shopped for kitchen appliances in over 20 years. Tell me about it.

Why does he have his monitor mirrored?