Alright fucko decrypt that laptop computer or I'll slug you one

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Yes officer
>reach for bag
>cop gets startled and shoots me

I've unironically forgotten the password though.

You know people care about police violence, if it's against white!

Yeah?! This ought to refresh ya memory
*wh-drshh*

Senor yo no hablo ingles lo siento.

w-what is that supposed to be officer you're just making noises

STAND BACK I SAID STAN
SIR I
AAAAAAAAA TAZERTAZERTAZER
*bzzzzzrrr tck-tck-tck-tck-tck* TANGO CHARLIE IS DELTA-NINER, OVER

best thread on Jow Forums right now

this. Jow Forums has fallen so low these last 5 years

so now instead of going to jail you get deported good job user

>No
>[files lawsuit]

*enters password to fake empty win7 partition*
here you go sir

What's a laptop?

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*plus in USB with NSA logo*
*monitor blinks twice, beeps, shuts down*
Thank you for cooperation sir, now please go home and do what you normally do.

slug is not allowed on this server so enjoy your ban

If I don't follow your orders, will I die?

Based cop

it'd be extremely painful

I hope so

I'm a big guy

"Oh okay, we already gottem move along Bois"

Cowfee

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I don't get it

*thump*

Anutha day anutha dalla' gah blessum

For yooooo

my friend shoots him with a sniper rifle

Reported

Dispatch this is uhhhhhhhhh, unit 1488. i have a bravo mike claiming uhhhhhhhh, its his iphone and he couldnt unlock it for some reason. uhhhhhhhh send backup. over.

*khhht*
Copy that, you're given reasonable suspicion of conspiracy of terror. Restrain and detain, after taking a photo of suspect, and swiping his fingerprints. Over n out