Daily Stand-up Meeting

Tell them its a problem.
Look for another job if they dont listen.
Shit like this will just keep you down.

Nothing.
Nothing.
Fuck off.

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>what did you do yesterday?
Traveled to this coast town, went swimming, started reinstalling my laptoo and fell asleep during it
>what are you doing today?
complete laptop setup, go swimming and travel back home
>any blockers?
my insecurities, lazyness and mood swings and preventing me from achieving anything meaningful and might lead me to suicide soon

>standup
>everyone is sitting
get up you fat fucks!
also disturbing lack of diversity in your pic

>what did you do
watch a SQL statement work through a billion rows. Hint: it worked.
Now i get to watch the next script do its job and that will work as well.

>mark taxis!
>mark a school bus
>devilish.jpg

>Stand-up Meeting

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>standup meeting

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Hey TL, can we get someone who isnt a complete retard in the team instead of annon over there ?

>what did you do yesterday?
when i wake up time is always against me; when you have no meaning or purpose time is not there to more your story forward. it drags the same day on and on in a static life void of progress. you stared in the mirror seeing yourself, every detail on you as it is now, but now you are looking back to that: older, balder, and having done nothing, without any way to get that time back; its gone

>what are you doing today?
maybe if i keep telling myself i will do something different i will, but i won't. i can fantasize to see the future where i could be, but the back of my mind tells me its too late. is it?

>any blockers?
crippling depression

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>what did you do yesterday?
Rest after release day at work
>what are you doing today?
Work on a side job, doing an e-commerce site
>any blockers?
Binging Two and a half man rn

ok good but what work did you get done?

>what did you do yesterday?
Masturbated slept and played a tabletop game
>what are you doing today?
Washing clothes and going to SOs
>any blockers?
Feel like pure shit

You can simply look at my tickets, no reason for a separate meetings.

You guys would like life more if you searched for the truth.
There's fakery and hoaxes everywhere
Orangutans are fake animals, they're fursuits
Zebras are painted horses and donkeys

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Literally the best way to do something meaningful is to take action and do something, anything. Don't think about doing it, or what will happen if you don't do it, if its good enough or any of that other retarded shit. Just start drawing something or walking somewhere or coding something, reading, learning, anything. Don't worry about deciding on the best activity, think of the first thing you think of and do that, right now. And stop using Jow Forums you incel

Nah, he may be a social retard but he's maintaining and developing our old as fuck backend nobody has a clue from because we hire only stupid as fuck web developers like you.

>Yesterday (well, Friday)
Helped a coworker with some data analysis, went back to implement some slightly modified http client in Scala
>Today (more like Monday)
Will keep on what i started on Friday.
>Blockers
My own laziness

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>what did you do yesterday?
On Friday I fixed webpack HMR and hot reloading
>what are you doing today?
working on phone number input component
>any blockers?
my monitor arms haven't arrived yet, I can't be productive

I played Pen & Paper with my friends all day.

BASED frog poster.

>what did you do yesterday?
I played School Shooter Simulator and No Money No Hamburger on Gmod for fun because my Linux-Box has been set up fine for a long time :D
>what are you doing today?
About to play more
>any blockers?
I need to restart my system once the uptime has been 1 Day because the macros on my mouse and keyboard to pause/play, fast-forward and reverse stop working :(

Where's the human finger? Is that what it's eating?

>what did you do yesterday?
laundry, ironing, cleaning, shopping, workout, bike maintenance
>what are you doing today?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
>any blockers?
still need to figure out why my bike is squeaking... It isn't the chain, I lubricated that thing more than a 12" dragon dildo needs and still no dice.

I work from home, fuck off.

At our company we have a slack channel for it. The meetings are just for hanging out for 10 minutes if you want to.

that's retarded i can't imagine a standup with more than 8 people

yes

>what did you do yesterday
went to my friend's going away party. i'm hungover now
>what are you doing today?
going to get stoned.
then i'm going to make a 4-legged barrel sling for one of my plants so i can hang it in my room.
>any blockers?
school starts on Wednesday

It’s called stand up meeting because they can’t sit for the pain of getting fucked in the ass by corporate culture (and their BBC scrum master)

>still need to figure out why my bike is squeaking... It isn't the chain, I lubricated that thing more than a 12" dragon dildo needs and still no dice.
Might be the chainset.

>ching chong
>ping pong

I can relate. We also had our boss come to the meetings everytime. When one guy didn't have enough to say in the daily standup he got fired. There is job to do but we were not allowed to start on it.

Fuck off manager. You pretend there is any point to standups so you can micromanage us. You got one of us niggers fired because he didn't say enough on the standup meeting because the company forbids us from doing work when there is work to do.