>Let's circle back to that item later, it seems out of scope
>I added Brian's team to the weekly meeting, I'm hoping to leverage some synergy between groups if we focus on our core competencies
>We can touch base during tomorrow's standup, give you some time to get the lay of the land
>I want to highlight our value add and show that this is a win-win
>I'm feeling out of the loop here, when was the last time Frank ran the numbers?
>Brandon is going to do a deep dive into the data and perform a drill down into our key customer segments
>This initiative is really going to move the needle on our top KPI's
>We can already make this a game changer by taking care of some low hanging fruit
>Let's take that offline, ping me when you know you'll be available
>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed
Let's circle back to that item later, it seems out of scope
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aw man, this is hits home too closely
PEE PEE POO POO
>let's take that offline
>ping me that later
>Our team velocity needs improvement significantly
>Please update the correct JIRA fields for your stories by EoD
>standups
>lead on my team recently started having us actually stand up for standups
>something's fucking wrong with my heels
>I'm in horrible pain after the first 5 minutes
>10 solid minutes of meeting left
>I can't even hear what's going on through the pain
can't stand those fucking meetings. I don't know what's wrong with my feet, I'm a skinnyfag so it shouldn't hurt that bad, right?
>not CoB
Your jargon needs updating.
blog on mate
get some insoles
makes more money than me
Who says close of business anymore? Get outta here, Dickens
>let's sync up later
>we can go over that in the sprint post-mortem
>i'll be OOO and WFH all week but I'm available over Slack™
kill me now
Everyone in the Army. Probably because EOD was taken.
too real
>I'm setting up a discovery spike meeting so we can get our ducks in a row
>jamie, let's focus on making a cup cake before we can make a wedding cake
what shoes are you wearing, kek.
someone should make officespace 2 with this shit
Everyone in my office in Michigan.
Boomer thread? Apparently our general manager decided we need to put our email addresses in our email signatures because people wanted to reply to emails there were printed out and presumably handed off to others.
>because people wanted to reply to emails there were printed out
I don't know what's worse, that people print out emails, or that some organizations automatically append "please don't print emails" to the bottom of every email.
>joined call
>hello guys how are you?
>Who do we have on the call?
*A clear list of participants visible*
>let's take that offline
I love this because I work on a remote team, and they still fucking say it
based scrum masters report in
*scum
Are you putting all of your weight on your heels and locking your knees like a fucking retard? Being skinny doesn't matter if you're not even standing the right way.
>something's wrong with my heels
you're standing on them. weight goes on the balls of your feet.
>Jow Forums - tips for how to successfully stay out of your chair a while
this is my manager and i pray daily that he'll wrap his porsche around a telephone pole
If standups are going to actual standing up just fucking walk, definitely helps me think and hurts your feet less.
If your company has any sort of IT infrastructure doesn't it have outlook or gmail. Why the fuck would you ever need to print off an email to get an email address you could just type the persons name and it auto completes. (at least for outlook and gmail)
spbp
>let’s not get into the weeds, I just need the 30,000 ft view
ITT: insufferable faggots
Just start acting like Data and take every phrase literally. At first they'll look at you like you're stupid but after a while they'll just stop because they want to avoid the awkwardness of the situation.
>Any blockers?
>we can sidebar on that
>*rips yesterday's page from Dilbert daily calendar*
>hello
>BRRAAP
>I'm not in front of my computer right now
>spledunk