I’m doing it lads

Fuck off.

unemployment, disappointment, shame

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

In Alice's bedroom with the door shut behind them, the magician began to remove the soiled dress of the witch; however, she was met with a forceful hand.

"What are you doing ze~? I don't need your help," muddled Marisa with the slightest hint of red in her cheek. "I can do this myself. Also, what are those things..." she pointed to her bed. Alice picked up one of the white objects; "those can't be..." the magician nodded.

Marisa signed with a hint of disgust, "You get weirder everyday, doll freak..." A thought occurred. "Hey, wait, why do you even have those things?" Hesitant, Alice lifted her skirt and revealed that she herself was wearing a diaper. Despite the humility that bestowed onto Marisa minutes ago, a smile came to her face. "So it is true, you do lea..."

Alice forcefully grunted and a trio of dolls surrounded the witch. One quickly flew behind Marisa and untied her apron and the other two grabbed the straps of her dress and lifted it over her head; the dolls then flew off with the garments. Before the black-white had a chance to fight it, she stood in Alice's bedroom with nothing but her shirt and soaked bloomers.

Alice, face redden, placed her hand on the witch's shoulders and led her to her bed. Marisa, unsure of what she should do, was forcefully seated on the edge and pushed back by the doll otaku.

Alice excitingly placed her fingers on the witch's waist; as she was about to pull down her bloomers, the magician was met with Marisa's grasp.

(you)'ll give up in two weeks
screencap this.

"No, ze~. Don't you dare do that." Just then, a group of dolls flew onto Marisa and restrained her arms and legs once again. "Dammit, ze~; let me go!" Alice ignored the demand and pulled down the wet bloomers. Staring at what was now exposed, trickles of blood dripped from the magician's nose.

"You sad, lonely freak." Marisa remarked as it was all she could do. Wiping the drippings of passion from her face, she slid the diaper under Marisa. Sprinkling a blot of powder onto the area, she quickly taped the garment into position before she fainted from blood loss.

Regaining her composure, Alice witnessed what she had accomplished and let out a delightful smile. Flushed with redness, she placed her face next to Marisa's and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then with a soft giggle, she slowly walked toward the door.

"I'll make some tea and cakes." The dollmaster opened the door and exited the room; her minions release their grasp on the witch and followed.

Marisa sat up, hearing the unfamiliar crinkle as Alice's success, and pondered what the magician really meant to her.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them, and in a loud booming hiss, asked "Have you read your SICP today?"

The surroundings faded into blackness and within a few moments the group found themselves seated in a lecture hall at MIT, amongst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the blackboard, and Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, dressed in his robe and wizard hat.

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the witch, the magician, Alice, and Marisa.

"What...?" Marisa managed to say, all of the confused by what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

"What's going on?" Alice whispered to Marisa.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" the witch whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at the witch with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at the witch.

All of the other students turned in the direction of the group.

"Nothing," she answered quietly.

"I hope so," The Sussman said in stern tone, ending his pointing with the wand.

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, waving his wand around as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Marisa muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, pointing with his wand.

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," the witch exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"

The Sussman raised his wand and a pointed it at the group, sending from its blunt point a stream of red parentheses. Almost immediately Alice sent forth her dolls, which collided with the parentheses at 61.8034% of their way toward her, creating a blindingly bright blue ball of plasma. The other students watched in amazement as the parentheses slowly ate their way through the doll-storm towards Alice.

Next you drop SICP and read a good programming book instead

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>Im taking the Lisp pill and starting SICP
Isn't that a book for freshmen?

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Next, I'd say work on your dishwashing skills, janitorial stuff. You know, know your soaps, solvents, how much cleaner to mix with water for an effective mopping solution. Probably also get a good leafblower, those electric ones you can't use on the job. Maybe after a time, when you've gotten pretty good at LISP, get to know your neighborhood Java programmer, offer to wash his car, run some errands, it'll bring in a bit more.
..later.

How many pages into SICP does it get interesting
seems like another babbies first PL book so far

stop saying "babbie's first ___" reee

Ok
another basic bitch beginners book

I tried to worl through sicp once.
I was doing all exercises, I was already at the start of chapter 4 when my computer stopped working. I lost everything I had on my HD, including the exercises.
So I just gave up, because fuck doing everything again.

okay smart guy

i've been programming in common lisp for awhile and i never bothered with it

Does knowing lisp just come with being one of G*d's chosen?

i'm not a chosen one, so i couldn't tell you

Do you know why Lisp isn't popular among businesses? It's because it's TOO productive. Businesses love Java because it is so tightly regimented that you can give a horde of barely literate community college graduates a list of psudo-code to translate and they will generate the exact same code every time. There is never any room to experiment, innovate, or try different solutions in Java; you simply follow the rules that have been handed down to you by your Sun/Oracle overlords. That way, one true programmer who does the actual thinking can herd the code monkeys effectively and they can be used as a machine to translate ideas into code.

Lisp is the exact opposite of that. Boundless possibilities; where Java is a regimented barracks of a language, Lisp is a blank slate; a tool that is used to manifest ideas in ways that can control machines. There are little in the way of restrictions on how certain things can be done, and thus it is all but useless in group based, zero-thought cubicle farms. Code monkeys would struggle to understand Lisp in the first place, because they are trained not to think but to follow rules, and Lisp has no rules. Even if they know the syntax, give ten Ivy Tech "graduates" psudo code and they will all produce the same or nearly the same Java code. Give the same psudo-code to ten Lisp programmers and the ten samples of code you get back won't even resemble each other.

Software firms create software the same way automotive firms create cars: through ordered assembly lines and chains of command designed to crush any form of individuality or inconsistency. They use employees as machines that repeat the same tasks over and over, all producing exactly the same end result. Java is perfect for this factory approach to programming, because it was designed for it, and thus companies use it. Lisp is horrible for it, as it *encourages*, and in fact *demands* thought, imagination, and creativity, rather than eliminating it. Thus, companies do not use it.

Java is McDonalds: mass produced trash put together by people whose actions are controlled utterly and any variation from the established canon is unacceptable/impossible. The end result is disgusting, and an insult to cooking. In fact, the word "cooking" is rarely used in reference to McDonalds, just as "computer science" is rarely applied to Java. Instead, "burger flipping" or "coding" is substituted. However, the end result is consistent across the world.

Lisp is a restaurant opened by a chef who is passionate about cooking. It can be difficult to accomplish because it requires actual knowledge instead of rote obedience to protocol, and any attempts at mass producing or outsourcing it will end in failure, but the end result is wonderful, beautiful, and a sublime example of what is possible in cooking/computer science.

do you actually write lisp code

Read a gentle introduction to symbolic computation and HtDP instead.

A book for freshmen is too hard, so you need to read a book for highschoolers instead? That's kinda sad.

lisp is the product of an autistic spaghetti chef

Java is King of the Beasts.
Even after Google forces everyone to take Kotlin up the ass, the better apps will still be written in Java. There's just a massive pool of excellent programmers in the Java ranks.

We offer terms. Surrender, you won't be looked at as a coward. It is perfectly honorable for you to do. Think about the safety of your soldiers. They are good men. Don't lead them into a battle they surely can't win.

Next you start wondering why you can't find a job.