Be me

wash*

You're becoming a man now, hair is starting to grow in weird places, you can either shave it off or:
>be me
>take shit
>go to sink
>grab poo rag
>put a little soap on it
>turn the water on
>hang my arse over the sink
>wash my arse clean with water
>don't have rashy, itchy, poo smelling arse

Works quite well for me.

>Not spit-lubing your ass and then taking a massive dump before cleaning up in the shower.
I bet you sit on the toilet like you're at a dinner table for 15-30mins while waiting for gravity to let it rip through your dry tight anus. It's impressive how people can become adults without even learning to shit properly. No wonder so many retards get hemorrhoids.

>wet your toilet paper
or
>shave your ass
normie

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Toilet paper is a fucking scam, OP.

If you got a nugget of shit stuck in your beard would you use a piece of dry tissue paper to try and just smear it across your skin? Of course not! Use baby wipes or a bidet.

It amazes me to think off all the thousands of people walking around every day with dirty arseholes.

user, get a removable shower head. You are welcome.

Try taking a shower and cleaning your asshole with soap you dumb fucking shitass.

How is this even hard to understand?

WATER AND SOAP MOTHERFUCKER

WATER AND SOAP

>night
Definitely pinworms

>Thousands.
Try billions.

>pinworms
thought that too but ive honesty had this problem for years, and every time i itch no sign of pinworms on fingers, and no sign on pinworms in poop either

i am not a 200 billion dollar net worth japanese man

i have a removeable shower head AND use SOAP AND WATER sometimes, but it doesnt permanently fix it, it eventually comes back how do i permanently fix it

Yeah I just try to do all my dumping right before a wash
Helps that I like to shower in the morning AND before hitting the hay. Getting into bed freshly cleaned feels good

>there are still people who don't wipe their ass with wet tapes after using normal toilet paper
There is a special place for you in hell you subhumans.

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Stick your finger in your asshole and dig around until you've got all the shit out.

WATER AND SOAP

Also, if at work, I'll grab some paper towels and wet them, and use those to clean my asshole.

This guy knows. Always shower after a shit if possible. I can't imagine having a shitty asshole all day, gross.

You're letting me down, Jow Forums. Go wash your stank asses right now.

They cost like 25$ max.

And wet wipes are not cost effective.

Fucking this, wet wipes are god tier

OP just fucking trim your ass hair. It's probably hairy enough that it's tickling your asshole. That or you have worms

It's not that hard to carry a small pack of baby wipes around. It gets the job done completely. Also, tweeze that hairy asshole.

>i have a removeable shower head AND use SOAP AND WATER sometimes, but it doesnt permanently fix it
This has worked for me for years at this point, user you might need to visit the doctor or something, this sounds like a personal issue rather than something with the wipes

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Let me guess, Indian?

fear not, I just shaved my ass with an electric trimmer and took a bath AND a shower, so now its all on a clean slate, and i dont think i will get a rashy ass anymore

It's not worms you brain dead niggers, that only really happens in kids, and its highly contagious so everyone else in the house would get it, and plus the worms wake you up at night since your ass would itch so bad, which doesnt happen to me, my ass justs get rashy and sweaty and i itch it and stuff for like 5-15 minutes then it usually goes away

yeah lol, what a stink.

1. your ass gets itchy sometimes if you wipe too much.
2. after you wipe it's not always clean on the inside so as the day goes on it leaks or joins with the ass sweat
3. just wiping won't remove the shit stink

Eat more fiber. Like 30 grams a day. Then your poop will just slide out cleanly and won't stick to your asshole.

Too much sitting on your sweaty old computer chair you fatarse.

daily showering, you might be 'pig' between 6-12 hours of day depending on when you shower, when you shit and when you work and provided you don't sweat like a pig and don't shit 5 times a day there's no noticeable smell or discomfort before afterwork shower (excessive hygiene weakens immune system, that doesn't mean you have to live like an indian/african but you don't need to spend 15 minutes scrubbing your hands in antibacterial soap after touching every single item)

>mfw an indian has to lecture a mutt about hygiene

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I think I know your issue... you have Mast Cell Activation disorder.... wathch YouTube video lectures from md’s on the subject... you are having an allergic reaction to something you are eating or you can’t tolerate foods and drinks with high histamine levels... look in to the low histamine chef... she has a wealth of information online. Also take antihistamines... over the counter should do, like Zyrtec and Zantac (most common treatment protocol).. but if not prescription hydroxyzine is a miracle for itching...
eliminating nuts, seafood, processed meats, aged cheeses and alcohol is a great start...
Facebook groups on these subjects have a wealth of information as well.

CONFUCIUS say :
Go to bed with itchy bum
Wake up with smelly fingers
"Your" fortune cookie says
Putting on rubber gloves at bedtime to be your future.

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Stop spreading Fake News. You both and i know that Indians never wipe their asses.

AYOOO THIS NIGGA EATIN SHITTTTT

HOW YOU GONNA HAVE A SHITTY ASS MY NIGGGA JUST USE WETT ONNNNEEEZ

Indians could bathe in poop without getting an itch

You have to shave your hairy asshole. If there's no hair, then shit cannot get stuck in it and your ass will be cleaner more easily.

Alternatively, try wet towels.

God damn, take a shower after take a shit.

That's why you can have a GF

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Had a dog like that before. Constantly itching & scratching himself driving everyone crazy. Sadly we gave him the "Ole Yeller " treatment. Now he very quiet.

>try wet towels
>JUST USE WETT ONNNNEEEZ
>wet wipes
>people who don't wipe their ass with wet tapes
>Wet some tissue
>Wet wipes
>>wet your toilet paper
>Wet some tissue
>Wet wipes nigga
>wet them
s oy boys detected. real men dont use wet wipes lmao real man isnt baby. the ass hair is natural proteciton against faggots and its ok if shit gets stuck sometimes

And then wipe your ass with your dick

40 wipes / $1.95

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>It's ok if shit gets stuck sometimes.
3rd worlders actually believe this.

yea im not going to have somebody fuck me in ass or rimjob me mby you do , not my thing. i dont need to use baby wipes like a faggot, s oy tier stuff. shit gets stuck between ass cheeks not on it

Also the big clue for me was that it happens only at night... histamine levels rise at night, thus your itching only then. Mast cells not only release histamine but can release hundreds of other chemicals like prostaglandins that cause pain or others that cause inflammation... your colon is becoming inflamed.... rarely is the problem only in one place. It usually causes systemic problems often including mental health issues like anxiety, fatigue and depression... joint pain and muscle soreness is another common issue... but ever person has a different flavor of it... there is a diagnostic screening tool from a university in Bonn Germany that is a fantastic check list.

>He's fine with skidmarks and smelling like a public toilet.