>Haven't seen friends in over two months now.
>After two weeks of no replies I just stop initiating.
>A few days ago I have to initiate conversation to find out if they want a link to their profile on some video we made.
>He says yes, then also says we should hang out this weekend.
>At the same time another friend says we should hang out this weekend.
>I tell both I am available and ask what day / time they'd like.
>Neither of them respond to me.
>Weekend passes.
I'm ready for three months.
I never had any friends, but I don't give a single heck, I'm a fucking sociopath
Fuck'em. Don't let your emotions get tied into it.
If it really matters to you, be a little more forceful.
Actually call them over the phone.
If they don't answer, they're bad friends.
More importantly,
you need to place more value on your own company.
When your time has value,
your "friends" will start to see that.
Make them "FOMO".
>If it really matters to you, be a little more forceful.
This advice misses the point. I am tired of forcing. I can force a friendship for two years and then they'll just stop responding if I reach out and then leave me hanging on the off chance they feel a pinch of motivation.
>you need to place more value on your own company.
Your advice is contradictory. To force it shows that my time has no value and that I am so desperate that I need them and will compromise on the way that I 'deserve' to be loved.
Also,
>Don't let your emotions get tied into it.
All you did after this was provide advice based off of emotions, do X and if they don't Y then they are bad friends, then insist that their reaction means they don't value your time or company. And that isn't wrong, but suggesting not to let emotions get tied to the idea of friendship is a bit silly. If they are not there to be an emotional asset then why really have friends? I can entertain myself, after all.
if you are in the midwest we should hang out
Los Angeles here.
Go fuck yourself then.
I regret giving half a fuck about you.
Why is that? Do you immediately hate anyone who disagrees with you?I actually didn't disagree with you entirely, I just pointed out how there was some contradictions in your logic. Do you disagree? If so you could enlighten me, I am an open minded person. If not, perhaps instead of being upset about it you could laugh it off and discuss things further?
Again, I didn't even disagree with you as a whole, the path I am on was your second suggestion: place more value on my time. I just pointed out how that contradicts forcing it.
0.o
Do you call those friends?
Change them already
>Do you call those friends?
There were so many good things. One friend in particular, the one I hadn't seen in two months, took great care of me as my other friend died and I grieved for so long. I wonder if things would be different if I hadn't been such a sad person for the months following that. I have planned to move on, but it's not so easy to make new friends at my age and in my situation. I am hoping this year I will make great strides in life though. I've lost all my my friends since the first one died and it just hurts.
I wonder, if I had bothered to reach out to find out if he wanted his credits in that video, how long would we have gone without speaking.
You guys seem to be way too sperated. People change over time you should try to establish contact with them as soon as possible to save your friendship and seeing that you already tried messages I'd say go for a more direct approach i.e phone calls and try to visit them if they're close.
meanwhile keep trying to make friends
To what end? We were only 'separated' for two months because he refused to answer me. What is the benefit of going to someone and forcing them to be a part of your life if they clearly don't want you there?
You're separated to the point where you don't even get a "hey man can't talk now maybe later" for two months
I admit the visit their homes part was probably a bit over exaggerated but the call their phones part still holds true
Forgive me I didn't format that properly.
>You're separated to the point where you don't even get a 'hey man can't talk now maybe later'.
That wasn't caused by separation, that started happening just days after the last time I saw him. About 3 days, maybe 4, he just stopped responding. I continued messaging him for a week. Ironically it wasn't until after I stopped bothering him for a month and a half that he bothered to respond to a work related question.
Separation isn't the issue. Forcing myself into his life anytime he ghosts me isn't helping. All that does is reset the game so I can feel like shit the next time he decides to take a two month break.
Just like that he ghosted you for no reason?
I don't know man, you don't want to sound annoying so cut down on the messaging and give him another month or so to figure his life out.
P.S don't take my words for granted i don't know the guy and i don't want to assume what's going on in his life
Based
Fuck friends
>Just like that he ghosted you for no reason?
So it would seem. The last day we hung out was great. We spent the day filming, there was nothing but laughs and good times, he randomly decided to hug me at one point while we were cleaning up, the lady we were filming with even commented on how amazingly close we seemed to be, she practically 'shipped' us together. It is not uncommon for me to have to take three attempts at reaching out to him, but after two weeks of no response daily I gave up.
>you don't want to sound annoying so cut down on the messaging and give him another month or so to figure his life out.
This is already what I did, I don't understand your mindset in this thread.
What is worse is that this has come after virtually not seeing him for two months already. I saw him only once at the very beginning of November, also for filming. I had been more understanding of him being absent during holiday months as he tends to work 7 days a week at UPS for that. I had thought we'd go back to normal in January but it seems without filming he is no longer interested in hanging out, I don't know.
My mindset here is if he doesn't even bother to explain the situation maybe you should focus more on making new friends as it seems that he's not that interested anymore
Yet again he could be overworked and not fit for social interaction at the moment so don't cut him off completely
>My mindset here is if he doesn't even bother to explain the situation maybe you should focus more on making new friends as it seems that he's not that interested anymore
Which I get, as that was what I was already doing but you advised against.
>Yet again he could be overworked and not fit for social interaction at the moment so don't cut him off completely
It's been two months of having even fewer hours than before the holiday rush. When he finally did respond to me all he said was 'it feels like it's only been two weeks'.
I'm not cutting him off, I'm just not forcing it, which is essentially the same thing in his case.
I don't consider looking out for a friend as forcing it I'm just trying to help you clear out the fog and get everything explained and since he's not responding to your messages calling him might have a better effect
There isn't really anything to explain is the thing.
I don't know mate i can't feel at ease when anyone ghost's me.
Getting ghosted is a strong indicator that something is wrong.
What did you expect. Haven't talked to any of those high school posers since we graduated. Either start making new social relationships now or learn to live without "friends".
Not necessarily. In some cases it just means you never meant much to the person to begin with and that if you weren't essentially forcing the relationship nothing would have happened.
Stop just initiating conversations and see what happens.
>What did you expect.
Not to get ghosted?
>start making new social relationships
How would this prevent this from being what happens every single time if your mindset is 'what did you expect' in regards to being ghosted for no reason?
Let's just hope that that ain't the case
It is the case though, it is precisely what happened and when we followed up he just said 'feeels like its only been two weeks' then ghosted again. This isn't exactly unheard of from him. If i dont initiate i dont hear. if I don't insist, we never hang out.
Your safest bet would be to let him go and try your best to grow your friend circle he seems to be already doing that maybe try once every two weeks to talk to him
but if he ever initiates don't ignore him
Well it seems you never truly bonded with your friends. Those who create a bond and are willing to continue building upon it are friends. If you just talk to them and hand out on your spare time then they really aren't friends. You're not getting "ghosted", you just don't serve a purpose to them anymore.
>maybe try once every two weeks to talk to him
There is no point in that. As for everything else, already on that path, we keep circling back tothat.
friends aren't real, just true love forse anyone or just shit u want around u