Is it possible to get addicted to negative emotions...

is it possible to get addicted to negative emotions? when ever I think about being happy and having friends I am overwhelmed by a sense of great discomfort and whenever see/hear something positive I get annoyed it's like my body can't process any good or positive emotions

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I'm like that, I'm addicted to dark things. Sometimes I just listen to gothic ambient music, I love feeling a sense of dread. I can't stand upbeat positive things in life.

>Sometimes I just listen to gothic ambient music, I love feeling a sense of dread. I can't stand upbeat positive things in life.
I know that feel brother

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it can happen but it's a result of underlying trauma. for example when you think that you or others don't "deserve" good feelings.
also there's self-defeating personality disorder, which is described by the following:
—chooses people and situations that lead to disappointment, failure, or mistreatment even when better options are clearly available
—rejects or renders ineffective the attempts of others to help them
following positive personal events (e.g., new achievement), responds with depression, guilt, or a behavior that produces pain (e.g., an accident)
—incites angry or rejecting responses from others and then feels hurt, defeated, or humiliated (e.g., makes fun of spouse in public, provoking an angry retort, then feels devastated)
—rejects opportunities for pleasure, or is reluctant to acknowledge enjoying themselves (despite having adequate social skills and the capacity for pleasure)
—fails to accomplish tasks crucial to their personal objectives despite having demonstrated ability to do so (e.g., helps fellow students write papers, but is unable to write their own)
—is uninterested in or rejects people who consistently treat them well
—engages in excessive self-sacrifice that is unsolicited by the intended recipients of the sacrifice

all of this fits me to a T

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I read that this is usually because of childhood emotional abuse. the other word for this is masochism (not sexual but psychological).
I also read, though it was relevant more to sexual masochism, that usually this pattern is seen in children of very harsh, controlling, criticizing parents, who severely punished their kids, blamed them for everything and lacked empathy. these children start criticizing and putting themselves down:
>Experiencing pain means that the person was already punished and didn’t have to anticipate punishment anymore. For many people, anticipation and imagination can be worse than the real thing. … They can feel safe in giving up control if they can let somebody else have it. What they don't feel safe with is when nobody is in control.
>Some masochists claim that after such an experience of pain and suffering in “safe” environment they can feel cleansed, which indicates deep feeling of guilt. … unrestricted joy would result in some “mistake” or an ill-judged act, and therefore punishment.
and some children start to associate anger, yelling, and even violence with "love", "home" and "closeness" as result.
does this ring a bell?

Can relate a lot

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I was never abused as a kid my parents were really nice and I have never associated anger with love

Same, I guess I am a very spiteful person

then why do you think you don't deserve good things?
also, were you or your parents religious? were they strict or demanding?