<Punch> Guild

*brain washes you into joining our guild*
Your will is mine and in Chen’s command

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Niggers

punche

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Affirmative Commander

Your first order is to destroy one of Punch’s stronghold towers, blow it up and bring as much loot as you can to hq for the glory of Chen.

I have already put a curse on the guards, I will cast a spell of invincibility to assure your safety. Chen-speed!

*beats your head in with a rock, ending the mind control*

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*Stumbles toward tower bomb in hand and collapses at its base, smothering the explosion with my belly

damn, where's the necromancer when we need him.

Reveal that was a doppelgänger , putting a permanent seal on my new solider so he can serve me no matter my status.

It seems that it is time to go now,

Casts magic missle, hitting you with my last two digits, before teleporting me and my new solider to our hq

>*hears the mind if dying guild mate and uses his powers to revive him*

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>*Anonymoose raises group of skeletal warriors from the nearby cemetery and orders them to attack the intruder*

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You idiot! You just revived a new ally of mine heh.

*Stands up and sticks arm through hole in belly

Thanks Anonymoose, I live to punch another day

Has doppelgänger pretend to fight them, simply in order to tire his power out

I control his soul, he's immune to your mind magic

I activate the perminant seal

...

>*one of recently raised skeletal soldiers wields a bow and shoots in your direction. Arrow penetrantes your arm*

Seals are blood contracts made on mythical creatures (ie. the undead), a mage can only make one at a time, thus it’s part of his soul.

*Soul is shredded and trapped in limbo, I become a mindless zombie

I have my doppelgänger play along with it, I have it stand in clear view so I can fake my death

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I track down the real you with my commando skills and shoot in the dick with my space CQC skills

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I reveal to you that you are in my tower, I take a captured soul and put it into your body to meld with the lost one - giving you a new personality fit for my servent

My dick hurts, but I cast some energy tentacles to rape you in return

I return the rape-tentacles to you with these trips

who stole my trips

Ayyyyy oh, Sonya whatsa goin on, how you doin badabing badaboom

Ha failure, check these overwhelming death-rape dubs

I summon the necromancer to our location with an extra-dimensional symbol

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>*Anonymoose stopped the expedition and arrived in the guild castle on his bone drake. He gets off of the dragon and casts soul prison, which makes Sonya paralyzed. Then he puts his thick boner in Sonya's arse and rapes him violently*

Heh perfect, have one of my seeds of power to boost some levels.

Now, I want you to write a guide book on all of Punch’s vulnerabilities from your memory. We will discuss what to do after this

What the fuck that coordination

You can have them back from my cold dead hands leaf.
*blows head off leaf user with cum*

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I cast the gay-surplax spell, whenever someone commits a gay act it undoes the act and punishes the degenerate with aids

Ayyy yo so basically this is how it is,
*hands book with detailed layout of HQ with illustrations of runes used for teleportation*

I cast the punch-you-in-the-head-until-you-stop-mind-controlling-my-guildmate-spell, causing me to punch you in the head no matter what until you stop using mind control spells on my guild mate

>*Anonymoose casts mind control and orders Hitler to jump off the roof on his head*

That won’t work, I have a seal

I cast make you into a kawaii anime trap spell

I sap some levels from you, due to the curse I casted earlier. You are now in my hands with that curse and your aids, will you surrender or die?

I'm not smart enough to know what that means, so it works anyway
*resists*

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Undead loli hitlers head comes off from the fall and I go to collect it

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A wack you with my stick for being retarded, and give you a lecture on how it works to undo your technique

I'm too blind with rage to listen, and continue punching you in the head, causing you extreme discomfort.

Seals can block spells

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Nigga, you are surrounded by my skeletal soldiers and there's a fucking bone drake next to me. It's over, surrender or die

ilkhanate restoration project

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saged

bro just give us the irish zombie terrorist back and we'll stop raping you

Ayyy these guys seem kinda scary, why don't ya just give em what they want eh?

I kick you in the balls and leave
You lose 10 hp to aids, my magic missile will also have 40% more efficiency due to the curse. I can remove the aids from you, but only if you promise to leave my hall and pay a tribute. Next time you will lose 20 hp from aids, and so on.

Are you sure you wanna fight to the death. I think you know how it will turn out.

Quick, make some bombs and fire them in the cannons

94 hp damage + 40%, you really are on your last knees

Whatever you say boss, *loads up the cannons with fertilizer bombs utilising the castles cutlery as shrapnel

I continue punching you in the head. You're unable to escape due to my amazing commando tracking skills and eldritch mobility skills

I cast doom. Everyone dies and every guild is destroyed. And you can't save yourself because you already wasted all of your mana

Is only they knew how much spells are in place in my stronghold, it’s gonna hurt for them it is!

yeah fair enough. This had gotten kinda gay anyway

The universe ends, another one begins and the timeline happens just like this one but you can’t cast that spell

A once again kick you in the balls

Fock off

Heh

I make a bomb so big it blows up this and every other known universe
THE END

And then another one begins, and by sheer coincidence the timeline once again follows the same path except that you don’t know how to make such a bomb

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

Why do you say that peasant? It’s time you offered me your payment in potatoes, come on, on with it!

Y-yes Mr Cromwell Sir, the crops are looking fine this year so they are

Good, good. You have always been my favourite serf. What if I told you that, hypothetically, you might need to go off to war as a yeoman? I mean, it is quite an expensive war we are having...

I'll do whatever it takes to please the crown Mr Cromwell Sir

Good good, make sure your wife and children are prepared for your inevitable funer- I mean expedition, we are to meet at the barracks tomorrow

I'll let Mary know right away sir, thank you sir, God bless

God bless Chen!