Teach me to smoke, Jow Forums

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Bruh.

Start with ciggarette. Light the ciggarette, take a small amount of smoke and inhale it slowly(Dont hurry). First time, there is high chance you will feel a bit dizzy or even cough. Its okay. You will get used to it. Enjoy user

put it between your lips and suck

Just call me Ace Ventura’s Ass

Okay listen you little shits this takes a minute to get compiled into one image.
For now.
There's many ways to smoke weed. I prefer pipes and bongs to blunts and joints myself so I have plenty of pipes and a bong.
Today you'll learn how to hit that bong.
I haven't changed the water in a day though so it's a little dirty.

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Smoking is for losers

just suck on the stick and try to look cool, I don't know

this

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So after you've ground your weed that you bought from your local nigger (knowing you mexico) you load it into your finest bong/pipe. You want to get it like Goldicocks not too tight not too loose when you pack the weed into the bowl.
If you're using a bong you'll want to just straight up suck it into your lungs. Not too fast though. Nice and smooth. Like sucking a boi dick. Awwwww yeah. You gotta get a good seal around the inside of the bong with your lips too. Mmmmmmm.
After you've either filled the chamber or have about half your lungs filled pull the bowl right out of the stem like in the picture. Glass on plastic may have a long dongley bit on the bottom some glass on glass have it too. Mine is obviously setup to accept dabs (concentrates, wax, "butter", "shatter", BHO, etc.).
Once you pull the bowl it will start sucking in what's in the chamber along with air. Ideally you want to clear it so you don't choke and cough all over the place.
You will doe. You'll cough a lot your first time. You'll try to be a gangster with a tall ass huge bong then cough for an hour or even puke then be so lit you'll think you're swallowing your uvula (true story). Don't. Just don't. Understand you're a little bitch with sensitive lungs.
After you have had enough just exhale(read: cough all over the place) and repeat until it clears itself out.
Then put on some music, chill out and understand nobody has ever died from weed ever forever. You're not dying having a heart attack or anything else.
You're just really high.
Chill out and enjoy doing what you normally do just with new inspiration and more focus or just chill out in the couch watching something stupid or go workout or read a book or whatever. No matter what you do you'll have a hell of a time doing it.
Now go blaze it responsibly.
>note this was done in the state of Nevada where recreational marijuana is legal
>I do not condone the distribution, consumption or sale of marijuana products to minors
>enjoy responsibly

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Thanks, guys. You're like the parents I always wanted.

Would've liked to know more. Your smoking tutorials are pretty fucking neat!

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What kind of effect would you say weed has on someone with clinical depression?

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Posted as I was writting.
You rock, mate.

Also I love that you took the time to do this for some user in México.

I can teach you to smoke no no things if you send me some

>Some user in Mexico

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First you go to the store to get some cigarettes
Second, get hit by a car or something
Third, die

No problem. Just don't get beheaded by the cartel trying to buy some weed. Be cool with the guy like he's a casual friend when buying and don't buy more than the legal personal maximum in mexico (I think it's an ounce like it is here). If anything give him a little more if it's really green and smells like diesel fuel (this doesn't mean it's coated in petrol fuckers).
You'll do fine.
Next time I'll teach you how to roll a blunt and a joint and the difference between them.
Depends on the person, strain, environment and situation. While I can tout many strains and terpenes for medicinal applications for depression such as a sativa dominant strain such as Sour Diesel which induce focus and euphoria which would offset the depression and motivate positive productive behavior. Over time this could produce positive results in some cases to lead to curing their depression lessening the need for the cannabis.
However this strain also induces anxiety and paranoia in certain people which would be counterproductive for schizophrenics and other types of personality disorders such as depressives.
You'd have to have someone who knows what they're doing leading you through it if you choose to use it for medicine to help you study the effects of different strains and terpenes.
alpha Pinene for instance causes paranoia in certain individuals so you would need to share that with whoever was assisting you.
Self medication would require great research and trial and error.
Eh. Nobody really asks for this kind of stuff.
*headpats*
It's ok I knew all along.
I can give you no no things if you touch my no no things OwO

STOP PROXYFAGGING OR TAKE A NAMEFAG
>paranoia and anxiety
This is why I quit weed, that paranoia and anxiety was literally making me clinically insane.
Thanks for answering.

firs
yuo succ
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That means you were probably getting sativa heavy strains high in ocimene, pinene, limonene and linalool. Some of which can cause anxiety and paranoia.
If you need to chill and relax your mind you'll need indica dominant strains high in myrcene, b-caryophylene and terpinolene (so you can sleep).
You'd enjoy things like kushes and the assorted cherry strains.

I see.. how do I know I’m getting any of those things in indicas? Read the ingredients?
Sorry I’m scatterbrained tonight after the events this evening.

If you get it from a dispensary then yeah. You can ask for profiles before you buy it to narrow down what you want. Even if you don't have a profile you can smell test most strains with a great deal of success since terpenes are an aromatic.
Lookup a terpene wheel and it will have smells on it.

After looking it up (dis one lole), from what I’ve found earthy smells are the best ones since calm, stress relief, and euphoria/refreshing effects, but I’ve saved your recommendations as notes.

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>earthy smells
Yes exactly. Cloves and musk usually point towards what you're looking for. I like a lot of myrcene myself for just chilling out even on a nice day strain.

Good. Unfortunately it’ll have to wait a good while since it’s impossible to relax when you live with someone that’s the source of all your stress and is within 5ft of you on 95% of your time off work.

ah reminds me of the first time i got fucking blasted. my friend made some firecrackers and me not ever having one before asked if I could try one, he said that edibles usually aren't a good thing to try for first time smokers and i didnt care.

i was so fucked up i was forgetting where i was, couldn't walk without my knees constantly buckling on me, and my inner monologue sounded like fucking god. didn't have the munchies though because i was scared about biting my tongue off and accidentally eating it

ah good times, had a few good stoner stories about that too but the two best ones were

kept asking my friend if i was retarded because i was forgetting where i was

when he had to go for work about 4 hours later (i was still fucking blasted) he let his roommate know to look after me while i was baked when she got home from work. when she was tryna get it in i just heard the front door being jimmied and i thought some nignog was breaking in to steal shit and i thought the best way to hide was to stand so still i blend in with my surroundings. so i pushed myself into the couch as hard as i could and i was so relieved when some short mexican girl popped up at the bottom of the stairs. Thats about all i remember before passing the fuck out

Thanks for the laughs, mate.
Certainly wasn't expecting your posts.

But I don't wanna get bullied.