Christianity and its teachings

>be anti-christian
>complain about christians supporting refugees, gays and israel
>all these things are directly condemned by the Bible
>basically complain about people not sticking to the scripture
>argue the best would be to stray even further from the scripture that forbades these things

>laws were upheld by Christians for 2000 years
>took kikes this long, longer than anything else to subvert and enable a friendly view of these things

Attached: Children of the Devil.jpg (726x564, 121K)

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edom
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pharisees
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amalek
documentacatholicaomnia.eu/03d/0037-0103,_Flavius_Josephus,_De_Bello_Judaico,_EN.pdf
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitism_in_Christianity
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_medieval_Europe
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasus
de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ararat
sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080130170343.htm
telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9110838/Stone-age-Europeans-were-the-first-to-set-foot-on-North-America.html
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuya
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_(Genesis)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebrew_language
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleo-Hebrew_alphabet
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinča_symbols
piramidasunca.ba/bs/latest-news/item/3495-the-oldest-writing-in-the-world-has-been-decoded.html
behindthename.com/name/adam
loc.gov/pictures/item/90707066/
journals.plos.org/plosgenetics/article?id=10.1371/journal.pgen.1003316
archive.4plebs.org/_/search/text/"It is also known that the blue eyed people all have a common anchestor"/page/17/
sites.google.com/site/livingwithoutmoney/Home/the-seven-headed-dragon
theopenscroll.com/cainsPaternity.htm
tertullian.org/fathers/jerome_chronicle_03_part2.htm
icr.org/article/greatest-earthquakes-bible/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tacitus_on_Christ
documentacatholicaomnia.eu/03d/0037-0103,_Flavius_Josephus,_The_Antiquities_Of_The_Jews,_EN.pdf
youtube.com/watch?v=tTu_IPfejLM
creation.com/isaiah-40-22-circle-sphere
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Suns
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/198882770
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/201997900
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/208757396
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/213697329
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/199110112
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/204141788
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/214689445
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/175292781
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/185365200
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/180380385/
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/191921512
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/179314945
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/205468251
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/209504658
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/209615408
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/209615408/
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/212315565/
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/213628001
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/214246359
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/215195942
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/213302688
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/214371995
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/215062711
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/215785330
knowledgeofancients.blogspot.com/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>>all these things are directly condemned by the Bible
Cite the passages.

yeah, this

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>13If a man lies with a man as with a woman, they have both committed an abomination. They must surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.
anti faggotry

>3Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4because they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods. Then the anger of the LORD will burn against you, and He will swiftly destroy you.
against racemixing. Now often its claimed this merely means to not marry someone of another believe regardless of race however
>12 "Beware, my son, of every kind of fornication. First of all, marry a woman from among the descendants of your ancestors; do not marry a foreign woman, who is not of your father's tribe; for we are the descendants of the prophets. Remember, my son, that Noah, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, our ancestors of old, all took wives from among their kindred. They were blessed in their children, and their posterity will inherit the land.

>8When the Most High gave the nations their inheritance, when He divided the sons of man, He set the boundaries of the peoples according to the number of the sons of God.
speaks against mass immigration

>1“Truly, truly, I tell you, whoever does not enter the sheepfold by the gate, but climbs in some other way, is a thief and a robber.
against illegal immigration

>1No man with crushed or severed genitals may enter the assembly of the LORD.
against trannies

>19If you are harvesting in your field and forget a sheaf there, do not go back to get it. It is to be left for the foreigner, the fatherless, and the widow, so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.
basically National Socialism.

Not to forget all the stuff against materialism, egoism, usury, anti faggotry, and anti general degeneracy

To understand the stance on Kikes of the Bible we first need to look at their Identity and origin.

Back at the time of Jesus there was no Judaism, but Yahwehism, based on the laws of the old Prophets and practiced by the Israelites (when they didnt fuck around with false gods), in Judeah mainly the branch of the Sadducees, Essenes and the Pharisee with only the Essens being direct descendents of Judah. The Pharisee disliked the elitist Sadducees and claimed to be for the common people and gained influence that way. Their practices are based on the oral law that they practiced which is basically religious pilpul to argue that you follow the law without ever doing so, and was written down couple hundred years later in the Tal Mud and became the base of the modern rabbinical/talmudic Judaism that we know today.
So the Pharisee (Edomitic converts LARPing as ethnic Judeans) became the modern kikes and were back then already denounced by Jesus as Hypocrites, brood of vipers and children of the devil, with Jesus always addressing the Pharisee when calling someone this.
Christianity however is an update to the old law and traditions, the continuation of it where as the kikes specifically make up shit to not follow it but claim to do so anyway and came later down the line.

TL;DR Judaism is the oldest existing „fellow white people“ sheme in existence meant to make them vlend into the host nation and subvert from within

This all ignores still that the bible denounces everything the kikes push, faggotry, sexual degeneracy and degeneracy of every kind, hedonism and materialism, against usury, racemixing and mass/illegal immigration

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kikes are not israelites nor semites but the Edomites that lived in judeah
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edom
>The Edomites first established a kingdom ("Edom") in the southern area
of modern Jordan and later migrated into southern parts of the Kingdom of Judah ("Idumea", or modern southern Israel/Negev)
Eventually they were forced to convert
>They were again subdued by John Hyrcanus (c. 125 BC), who forcibly converted them, among others, to Judaism

And around that same time the Pharisee that follow the oral law
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pharisees
>The Pharisees preserved the Pharisaical oral law in the form of the Talmud
like we have today the kikes follow the Tal Mud and which was repeatedly rebuked by Jesus, telling them they are children of Satan.

Now Edomites are the descendents of Essau, the brother of Jacob/Israel who decided to wage war his brother and his people.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edom
>The Hebrew word Edom means "red", and is derived from the name of its founder Esau

Now to do this Essau joined Amalek
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amalek
>According to the Bible, Amalek was the son of Eliphaz (himself the son of Esau, ancestor of the Edomites)

Which thus, together with Essau became the Edomites (plus a couple other things mixed in likely).
The Amalek are known as Israels nemesis and who fits the whites nemesis better than the kikes? The Amalek are a canaanite tribe. Canaan is the son of Ham who was one of the three sons of Noah (Abraham coming from Shem, S(h)emites). Now the Hamites are traditionally black and indeed canaans curse hints to him becoming a slave like the blacks did. Furthermore i believe the biblical first black (can go into this) was Cain, who himself was the son of Eve and the serpent. This is the line of kikes, those that say they are jews, but are liars instead. The Synagogue of Satan and they came through the Hamitic line, thus are basically white skinned niggers

Attached: Canaanite Jew.jpg (464x211, 33K)

from Flavius Josephus
documentacatholicaomnia.eu/03d/0037-0103,_Flavius_Josephus,_De_Bello_Judaico,_EN.pdf
>2. For there are three philosophical sects among the Jews. The followers of the first of which are the Pharisees; of the second, the Sadducees; and the third sect, which pretends to a severer discipline, are called Essens. These last are Jews by birth, and seem to have a greater affection for one another than the other sects have.

so the closest relation the kikes have to the israelites is through Esau who mixed himself into the canaanites

Esau originally had the birthright to take over the tribe as a first born. However after a day of work on the field he went inside and asked his brother for something to drink or eat, for which Jacob demanded Esaus birthright. Esau agreed, and thus got what he wanted and Jacob got the birthright from Esau. However after this Esau wanted it back, Jacob didnt want to return it, and thus Esau parted from his family, joined a canaanite tribe that became known as Amalek (the Israelites nemesis) to wage war on Jacob/Israel. These eventually (likely with a couple others mixed into) became the Edomites which are todays Kikes. And to this day they still demand the birthright back from Israel (The white man). Their hate of whites is actually envy, they want what we have. Thats why they undergo plastic surgery to appear more european, take on germanic last names and yiddish is even just some fake german. They try to genocide whites so that they can take their position of chosen people they believe they inherited from Esau, without anyone else being left to rightfully claim that position.

Other than the kikes however Esau made up with Jacob/Israel again eventually, but (((they))) refuse to follow the lead to this day.

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bump

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On the reason behind the existence of evil and ultimately our purpose:
First we must define evil. Evil is whats wrong in Gods eyes. God gave us free will, and free will requires the abillity to choose wrong, or else we would not be able to choose at all. If choosing wrong is evil then there cant be free will without evil

God creates Humans in his image, and he loves every one of them that is and will be. Satan, being basically a spoiled Child doesnt like us getting our fathers attention and thus tries to show him how lowly we are by corrupting us. He does this by bringing the fruit of knowledge of good and evil to us, which while likely intended for us eventually, we werent ready to eat yet as we were basically little babies in adult bodies.
With the fruit now Eaten we had to learn of both, Good and Evil. We knew good from our father and from being in Eden, but what was missing is Evil.
The best way to learn is to experience, thus we have to experience evil to learn of it, and we couldnt have evil in Paradise thus were send out, possibly falling from a spiritual state of existence into this mortal and material state. This world is sandbox/a tutorial so to speak. A containment reality where we can fuck around without being able to fuck up cosmically. Here we are meant to experience Evil, and Satan trying to corrupt us still is doing so by unleashing every plague he has up his sleeve onto us that we may fall from faith while simultaniously subverting what good and evil is. God loving and trusting us lets this happen since its the best way to learn of evil for us in the first place, and because he knows we will still praise God after everything. This is essentially the story of Job on a global scale.

Basically we are meant to learn good choices, and what this good actually is

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In many cases the bible plays into the narrative of the different pagan myths, in Europe and across the world.

The bible actually doesnt deny the existence of the different gods. It just says that (most of them) they are not good and non of them are to be worshipped as they are below the most high. They are even directly mentioned:
>12On that night I will pass through the land of Egypt and strike down every firstborn male, both man and beast, and I will execute judgment against all the gods of Egypt. I am the LORD.
All across the world there are numerous cultures stating how "people" came (down) to them and brought them knowledge and some new crafts and subsequently ruled over them and often there is a direct lineage claimed from these "gods" on which they claim their ruleship.
Now the Book of Enoch says exactly that, the fallen angels came to earth, they shared knowledge which in turn corrupted us. And they mated with our women. Here the account from Genesis:
>1Now when men began to multiply on the face of the earth and daughters were born to them, 2the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they took as wives whomever they chose.
[...]
>4The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and afterward as well, when the sons of God had relations with the daughters of men. And they bore them children who became the mighty men of old, men of renown.
>mighty men of old, men of renown
kings and rulers, the children of the fallen angels.

Additionally to all this we have different stories of the (fallen) angels relate to that of the different gods, Michael for example correlates heavily with Jupiter/Zeus/Thor/Baal Haddad, Lucifer correlates with that of quetzacoatl of the aztecs and prometheus and somewhat Enki. Satan, which likely is Lucifer after the fall correlates with Moloch and Cronus. Gabriel I believe could be Mercury which is Hermes and seen as equal of Thoth

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>>laws were upheld by Christians for 2000 years
Where were they uphold for 2000 years?

Answer or admit you lied.

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Fuck off jew spammer

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Bible on Massimmigration
>47Because you did not serve the LORD your God with joy and gladness of heart in all your abundance, 48you will serve your enemies the LORD will send against you in famine, thirst, nakedness, and destitution. He will place an iron yoke on your neck until He has destroyed you.
>49The LORD will bring a nation from afar, from the ends of the earth, to swoop down upon you like an eagle—a nation whose language you will not understand, 50a ruthless nation with no respect for the old and no pity for the young. 51They will eat the offspring of your livestock and the produce of your land until you are destroyed. They will leave you no grain or new wine or oil, no calves of your herds or lambs of your flocks, until they have caused you to perish. 52They will besiege all your cities, until the high and fortified walls in which you trust have fallen in all the land. They will besiege all your cities throughout the land that the LORD your God has given you

>people still think massimigration is good in the bible even though its used as a punishment of God for his people
>people actually think bringing the punishment of God onto themselves should be encouraged

>implying its not well known that all early christians recognized the kikes as enemies
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitism_in_Christianity
>Christian rhetoric and antipathy towards Jews developed in the early years of Christianity and was reinforced by the belief that Jews had killed Christ and ever increasing anti-Jewish measures over the ensuing centuries

>implying its not well known medievil europe didnt like faggots
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_medieval_Europe
>Generally, by at least the twelfth century, homosexuality was considered sodomy and was punishable by death

imagine getting your theology off Jow Forums haha

Can you read?

You said: >>laws were upheld by Christians for 2000 years

Now defend that statement.
>Where were they uphold for 2000 years?
>Where were they uphold for 2000 years?
>Where were they uphold for 2000 years?

Fuck you christniggers are something else. Point on the bloody map and name the countries and regions that have uphold christcuck laws for 2000 years. Fucking lying boomer cunt.

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>be antifa faggot in germany
>make another d&c thread to keep people separated and fighting

Christcucks do the d&c when left alone. They always fight other real Europeans. They never fight kikes.

Attached: cuckstianity is the cause, not the redemption.jpg (1347x1017, 443K)

Amongst Christian society. Your map proves jack shit.

>Amongst Christian society.

W h e r e h a s c u c k s t i a n s o c i e t y e x i s t e d f o r 2 0 0 0 y e a r s

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Based.

Your map is wrong.

On the Meaning behind "Love your enemies" and such:
True love means you keep the person from sinning as it leads to his own destruction which you obviously wouldnt want if you love him.
>10Our fathers disciplined us for a short time as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in His holiness. 11No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields a peaceful harvest of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
it does not mean you let him do whatever he wants onto you or others, but that every punishment you do put onto someone comes from a point of love and compassion.
>5And whoever welcomes a little child like this in My name welcomes Me. 6But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
>would be better for him

If there is noone in the world willing to forgive and forget, we will endlessly carry on feuds and fights in form of revenge for all eternety. Its only when someone starts to forgive that this Cycle can be broken. And as Gods Chosen we are meant to go forth as a good example and make the first step. We are not meant to ignore and tolerate evil, but meant to overcome our hate, and give up what we can spare in an effort to break that cycle, but step up where its necessary even for our own disadventages.

Naruto understood this

I think you can read, i said
>>laws were upheld by Christians for 2000 years
not upheld in a certain place, but that christians for pretty much the last 2000 years condemned all these things, which i showed you they did. Dont think i dont realize you focus on insignificant bullshit and try to shift goalposts.

>never fight kikes
>it were mainly christian countries kicking them out the entire time

>thinks antifa would support Christianity
lmao

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Lemme get uhhh Matthew 1:1-17 (says Jesus was a descendant of King Dvd, a literal like). And the book of Revelations was written long after Christ's death, nothing in it contains anything he said, plus muh synagogue of Satan quote doesnt refer to Jews, it refers to anyone who pretends to be a jew but isn't, which applies to people who think Jesus was le based Aryan and that whites are the true Israelites lmfao.

Also in the book of Numbers, the Jewish God gives Aaron's wife, Miriam, leprosy when the couple speaks negatively about Moses (a key Old Testament Figure) being a fucking race mixer.

Cringetianity isn't "based and redpilled", it's universalist, egalitarian Jewish subversion from the Levant, the place where our Indo-European ancestors left the fuck alone other than when sacking it.

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Finally the christcuck spammers get some retaliation. Good thread.

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Holy out of context, the entirety of Romans 11 talks about how God doesn't hate jews regardless of what they've done, and how they essentially have a special place in his heart.

Christkikes always cherrypick so that they can make their kike religion seem more based than it actually is

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Why is it so hard for you to say Ethiopia? Are you not proud of your nigger brothers and sisters who upheld the faith between the death of rabbi yeshua ben yeoseph and the (((conversion))) of Rome? Or is it that you just don't know the about the one place where cuckstianity was practiced - besides by actual kike converts fresh out of the synagogues?

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wow I wasn't Christian before because I thought it was all retarded nonsense but after seeing OP's thread and finding out that the bible hates fags I've converted to Christianity. Thanks Op.

>John 4:22
Speaks about the actual offspring of Judah, whites, not the fake kikes we have today which are edomites >Matthew 10:5-6
lets read a bit further
>5These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Do not go onto the road of the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. 6Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. 7As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven is near.’ 8Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers,a drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.
Tells them to call on the sheep of Israel and freely show the works of God through you to others.

>Romans 15:27
Talks about foreigners being happy about Christianity/Christs teachings to be brought to them and them in return helping out the Christians.

>Romans 11:1-24
jews in this instance refers either to descendents of Judah, which kikes are not, or those following Christ, christians.

>Romans 1:16
>16I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, first to the Jew, then to the Greek
lets read Roman 2
>9There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil, first for the Jew, then for the Greek; 10but glory, honor, and peace for everyone who does good, first for the Jew, then for the Greek. 11For God does not show favoritism.
Also again talking about descendents of Judah/Christians, not fake kikes.

S-st-stop! He was an Aryan Persian Galilean Mede Scythian Germanic Danish White man! Tribe of Dan= Toof de Danan muddafugga! Isaac's sons! SAXONS!1! ISAACS SONS=SAXONS11!1!!1!1!1!!!!! the lebanese are white bro! Plz stop, just ignore matthew 1:1-17 and the parts of the gospels where Jesus celebrates Passover! Also ignore the book of numbers, where god gives Aaron's wife leprosy for talking down on moses for being a race mixer (but actually in the original book Moses wasn't a race traitor the jews just added that in cause they wanna make us look bad plus Ethiopians are basically white anyway so it's not REAL race mixing when you think about it)

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>>never fight kikes
>>it were mainly cuckstian countries kicking them out the entire time


When the kikes were kicked out while cuckstians were nominally in charge of the countries, the kikes were always let in again. The fact that they were such a persistent problem - that cuckstians were not able to solve it - that the kikes ended up dominating all cuckstian countries economically and politically shows that cuckstianity was a failure when it came to protecting the average people against the jewish tricks.

Now explain the holy foreskin, kike-worshiper.

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Mfw modern kikes have been proven to be the direct ancestors of ancient kikes (Israelites) so muh synigig of stan quote is kinda meaningless (and Revelations isn't even in the gospels so Jesus never actually said that in his lifetime)

Because im sure it will trigger someone

The white race, the caucasoids are the actual chosen people, the Israeli people. This gets clear already when you see that Mount Aratat, where Noah landed with his arc is the same place where the white people, caucasusoids, come frome from, the Caucasus
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasus
de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ararat
It is also known that the blue eyed people all have a common anchestor
sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080130170343.htm
Which most likely was Noah

Furthermore the blue eyed white people are known across the world to come around and bring technology and knowledge and rule them for some time like the seed of promise is prophesized to do.
The sumerians believed the blue eyed white people where gods, the annunaki (even though i came to believe that the blue eyed possibly are other people during the sumerians, they at least have the blue eyed people and swastika as well).
The Aztecs as well, and describe them from coming over the sea with a ship that moved on its own.
The chinese talk about blue eyed and blonde haired people who created a civilization and ruled for some time. A lot of egyptians mummies are shown to have had blonde hair etc.
And Europeans were the first in the Americas as well
telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9110838/Stone-age-Europeans-were-the-first-to-set-foot-on-North-America.html

Hitlers Ahnenerbe tried to find out about the origins of the white people, and maybe he did find out the actual israelis are the whites with the jews being the blue eyed people, who are said that they will spread across the earth and rule everywhere. Same they did during colonisations. Hitler found out the (((jews))) of today arent the jews of the bible who are just
>those who belong to the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews but are liars instead.

The "white privilege" people go on about, is actually the blessing of God

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The bible story is actual real history. This gets clear when you look at the story of Joseph alone. Joseph, in the bible, was sold off as slave to egypt, where he became friends with the pharao and married his daughter. He was given authority over everything. Compare that with the Yuya-mummie which was blond by the way.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuya
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_(Genesis)

Hitlers "Herrenrasse" probably was meant to mean "Rasse des Herrn" "Race of the Lord"
The 1000 year Reich was meant to be the 1000 year Sabbath, the 7th day which never happened because Satan interrupted it and which is for God like a thousand years.
This is why the Nazis had a sense of superiority like the Israelis had for the goyim.
The (((Jew))), like everything, stole their identity from others. Just like they took german names, have plastic surgery to look more white, act white when it suits them they stole their whole identity of being a jew from the whites

From the Bible
>20 King Arius of the Spartans.
>To the high priest Onias. Greetings!
>21 It has been discovered in a written record that the Spartans and the Jews are relatives and are both of the family of Abraham. 22 Since we have learned this, please let us know how you are. 23 On our part, we write to let you know that what is yours—your livestock and property—belongs to us, and ours belongs to you. We therefore command that our envoys report to you in keeping with this.

except quite the opposite

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Note that hebrew like we know it exist like this like the middle of the 19th century.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebrew_language
>Archaic Biblical Hebrew from the 10th to the 6th century BCE, corresponding to the Monarchic Period until the Babylonian Exile and represented by certain texts in the Hebrew Bible (Tanakh), notably the Song of Moses (Exodus 15) and the Song of Deborah (Judges 5). Also called Old Hebrew or Paleo-Hebrew. It was written in the Paleo-Hebrew alphabet. A script descended from this, the Samaritan alphabet, is still used by the Samaritans.
Originally the bible was written in Paleo-Hebrew.

Pic related, left is Paleo Hebrew and on the right the Vinca Runes found across europe, mainly central and southeast giving a further connection between those
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleo-Hebrew_alphabet
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinča_symbols
given a further connection that the real isralites and chosen people are the aryans

piramidasunca.ba/bs/latest-news/item/3495-the-oldest-writing-in-the-world-has-been-decoded.html
>(1) O Three-One God of the land of Thrace,
>(2) I vow in Truth to bring you all due offerings, O great Son of God,
>(3) And only you (shall) I praise (and exalt), O my God (for you are) great!
>(4) You who are now in your temple, (I pray, hear me), keep me safe and deliver me (from all evil)!
Three one god, the trinity being a theme in the oldest text we have deciphered so far. The trinity is another theme which draws itself across a lot of culture, from sumer to egypt, to the Nordics and of course christianity written in the Vinca Runes, found in Bulgaria (Balkans)

behindthename.com/name/adam
>This is the Hebrew word for "man". It could be ultimately derived from Hebrew אדם ('adam) meaning "to be red", referring to the ruddy colour of human skin
red, like whites are right after birth or when too long in the sun

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A picture commanded to be made of Jesus by Tiberius Ceasar.
loc.gov/pictures/item/90707066/

Esau, the twin brother of Jacob, who birthed the Israelites is described as
>25The first one came out red, covered with hair like a fur coat; so they named him Esau
red hair, a trait usually found in whites mostly. If Esau was white his twinbrother was too.

>7Her dignitaries were brighter than snow, whiter than milk; their bodies were more ruddy than rubies, their appearance like sapphires. 8But now their appearance is blacker than soot; they are not recognized in the streets. Their skin has shriveled on their bones; it has become as dry as a stick
So first they were white, then something happened, likely the captivity where they were brought away, and were replaced by dark people.

journals.plos.org/plosgenetics/article?id=10.1371/journal.pgen.1003316
>We reconstructed the genetic structure of the Levantines and found that a pre-Islamic expansion Levant was more genetically similar to Europeans than to Middle Easterners.

Attached: Our Savior by Tiberius Cesar.jpg (523x640, 22K)

ive seen alot of retarded shit on this site, but that meme must be some of the most historically ignorant and moronic shit ive literally ever seen before, holy shit

B3 hon3st. Are y0u 4 bot? lgn0re this p0st for y3s, 4nswer it for n0. Or are you really a fucking true incarnation of an automated NPChristling. Are the memes true?

archive.4plebs.org/_/search/text/"It is also known that the blue eyed people all have a common anchestor"/page/17/

17 pages of this spam. Seventeen.

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Youre in a thread where someone is saying we wuz Israelites n shiet and you call that retarded

fpbp /thread

Just look at what Christianity does to people. It's anti-science, and it makes everyone miserable. They don't like degenerates with mental illness so much. We must destroy Christian culture!

Attached: Cathedral.jpg (1511x2015, 720K)

Stop pretending you liar. You're the "norwegian" who always gets triggered by that very same meme.
The very same "norwegian" who thinks National Socialism is the problem - not the kikes.

Attached: christcuck reality vs reality.jpg (1200x896, 290K)

In example
Jupiter is also known like Zeus, throwing his lightning bolts or thor with his thunder also being lightning to some extent
Zeus, as i see it, is either what God is in the bible or Michael which would fit since Michael is the one who threw Satan (saturn) down to earth as Zeus defeated Cronus.
The way Satan falls here is
>18So He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.
So Zeus (Jupiter) defeated Cronus (Saturn)
Thor (Jupiter) locked away Loki (While fairly antagonistic I couldnt identify him as a planet)
Michael threw Satan (Saturn) down to earth with lightning.
In all occasions its Jupiter is BTFOing Saturn (or in the nordic one at least an antagonist) with lightning
In general I believe Jupiter is representative of Gods right hand man. Wether its in form of Michael or God himself appearing in the flesh like Jesus

Also Baal Haddad (Jupiter) is known to have slayn a serpent, Thor is the archenemy of Jörmungard, the worldserpent of loki that grew big enough to reach around the world biting its own tail making it a symbol for the world, but also being ouroboros which is a symbol of time that devours everything fitting back to chronus. Michael threw satan down to earth, the serpent in garden eden. Zeus killed Typhon a serpentlike monster that tried to take his throne of the cosmos.

Hindu Indra, Jupitarian deity, killed an evil Serpent with lightning bolts

I have to add here that the september prophecy makes a connection between Jupiter and Jesus instead of the sun. The prophecy states a child is born and is continued to be described like Jesus is usually, when it was virgo, the virgin, birthed Jupiter in the manner the prophecy told, and Jesus is all about rejection of the flesh, of the material and embracing the spirit which gives somewhat a connection to the lightning as its the very force creating the conciousness in your brain (neural impulses animating your whole body even)

What gives it away is the "!" lol.

The bible states God wants nations to be independant and seprate and you must obey the laws of the land
Romans 13:1
>Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
The bible preaches against homosexuality many times.
Leviticus 18:22
>Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Corinthians 6:9-11
>Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
Romans 1:26-27
>For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
In the bible Jesus Christ chastises the Jewish leaders for lying, he labels them "vipers" and says they live with lizards and spiders.
He also says in revelations to two churches that he's proud of them for not supporting the Jews whom he calls the "synagogue of Satan."
Revelation 3:9
>Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.

...

>>be anti-christian
>>complain about christians supporting refugees, gays and israel
>>all these things are directly condemned by the Bible

Wrong, the Bible also says that we shouldn't eat pork, but Jesus states it is not what goes into a mouth but what comes out that makes it unclean.

Jesus' word trumps all. Therefore if Jesus says render unto Caesar what belongs to Caesar and unto god what belongs to god, and you live in a country that says everything outside of the church MUST be disassociated from the church than yes, the modern world is jesus' fault and he caused degeneracy through meaningful inaction.

sites.google.com/site/livingwithoutmoney/Home/the-seven-headed-dragon
Basically this text claims that the whole genesis story of the bible relates to banking and usury through puns and wordplays.
So is Cain a wordplay on "purchase" and the snake decieving can mean "loaning" "hiring" "Indebting" or something along those lines. So when Eve said
>The serpent deceived me
it means Eve was loaned something, from which cain, the serpent seed (this text here makes a really good case for the Cain being the offspring of Eve and the Serpent while Abel is from Adam and Eve theopenscroll.com/cainsPaternity.htm ), the purchase was born. The same wordplay between decieve or credited/loaned also fits "snakebite". This means the deception is the loan/credit which is the deadly venomous bite of snake/creditor. The word "Canaan" is also related to Cain and means as much as "commerce" or "trade". The Canaanites are as I believe off spring of Cain. So the snake indebted Eve and Adam, which created the purchase, cain, which resulted in Adam and Eve leaving paradise. The purchase or trade, Cain, also becomes the first murderer. The land of Canaan, the land of trade and commerce is where todays Israel is. Canaanites by this definition are everyone who fell for the greed of the commerce, and these are also the same people the God told his people to completly wipe out.

When later Noah got drunk on wine making Ham see his Nakedness (Usually seen as either raping Noah, his father, or fucking Noahs wife/his mother) this is also a play on word meaning that he was hired. By hiring/loaning his father he raped him. Later when the bible speaks of nations or persons getting drunk on the wine it implies them loaning money, which makes them feel like drunk, euphoric, resulting in degeneracy, blasphemy and evil in general through the spirit of commerce that dwells in them.

However I believe this is just one of many meanings of Genesis which are all right and important

Attached: Jesus Moneychanger.jpg (555x574, 112K)

Extra Canonical Evidence for Jesus:

Mark 15
>And the sixth hour having come, darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour
Matthew 27:51:
>"And the earth shook and the rocks were split"
The secular Roman historian Phlegon documented an eclipse and earthquake around the exact same time, matching the Gospel account:
>in the fourth year of the 202nd Olympiad, an eclipse of the sun happened, greater and more excellent than any that had happened before it; at the sixth hour, day turned into dark night, so that the stars were seen in the sky, and an earthquake in Bithynia toppled many buildings of the city of Nicaea
tertullian.org/fathers/jerome_chronicle_03_part2.htm

Africanus in 221 AD
>On the whole world there pressed a most fearful darkness; and the rocks were rent by an earthquake, and many places in Judea and other districts were thrown down. This darkness Thallus, in the third book of his History, calls, as appears to me without reason, an eclipse of the sun. For the Hebrews celebrate the passover on the 14th day according to the moon, and the passion of our Savior falls on the day before the passover; but an eclipse of the sun takes place only when the moon comes under the sun. And it cannot happen at any other time but in the interval between the first day of the new moon and the last of the old, that is, at their junction: how then should an eclipse be supposed to happen when the moon is almost diametrically opposite the sun
He references here Thallus who wrote his work "around 52 AD" which has been lost in time though, but is referenced by Africanus.

Also geological evidence of a heavy earthquake in/around 33 AD
icr.org/article/greatest-earthquakes-bible/

Attached: Biblical Prophecies.jpg (225x225, 18K)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tacitus_on_Christ
>Christus, from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus, and a most mischievous superstition, thus checked for the moment, again broke out not only in Judæa

From Flavius Josephus Antiquities of the Jews
documentacatholicaomnia.eu/03d/0037-0103,_Flavius_Josephus,_The_Antiquities_Of_The_Jews,_EN.pdf
>3. Now there was about this time Jesus, a wise man, if it be lawful to call him a man; for he was a doer of wonderful works, a teacher of such men as receive the truth with pleasure. He drew over to him both many of the Jews and many of the Gentiles. He was [the] Christ. And when Pilate, at the suggestion of the principal men amongst us, had condemned him to the cross, those that loved him at the first did not forsake him; for he appeared to them alive again the third day; as the divine prophets had foretold these and ten thousand other wonderful things concerning him. And the tribe of Christians, so named from him, are not extinct at this day.

>God gives us an advice
>people make up shit to not follow said advice
>things turn to shit exactly as God fortold when not following his advices
>God is to blame for this
yeah, no

All are one in Christ, failure. Your dead German dictator lost, and unlike Jesus he is never coming back. Get. Over. It.

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Aaah yes, the good ol'e Christianity, well let's take a look at it shall we? Let's examine what is exactly a Christian first.

A Christian (also known as a chris-chan) is a special kind of zealous Yahweh fanboy or fangirl. Christians are unique in that they have a sexual obsession with a Jew hating Jew who lived roughly 2000 years ago named Hesus Cristi. They are well known for rejecting science in all its forms and ironically, themselves serve as proof that there is no intelligent design. They believe there is a vast secular conspiracy to exterminate their ilk by not forcing kids to pray to their deity and taking the word "God" off of coins. The next logical step would be to feed them all to lions. They will accuse YOU of hating Jesus. Why do you hate Jesus?

A typical Christian's MO in the universe from the day their are miserably conceived and thrust into this world is to seek out the most promising scientific mind possible and destroy it, to be replaced with their moronic blithering stubbornness.
Christ fandom is one of the oldest, with a history that spans continents and centuries. To suggest to a fundamentalist (hardcore) Christian that the Bible is poorly-written fiction will probably result in you being burnt at the stake. Christians, like furries, are often very defensive about their degeneracy.

Attached: 16px-Lolgo.png (16x16, 932)

The most important day of the year for Christians is Easter, when, as jewish corporate legend would have it, Jesus Christ burst forth from a giant chocolate egg to save you from your sins. The second most important day of the year is Christmas, where Jesus gained 200 pounds in a matter of days (à la Tim Allen in that shitty movie) and then murdered the first born sons of all the heathens Moses-style.
Christians follow a religion that was created by the Jews to serve Jewish purposes. Basically, the Jews convinced half of the world to worship their evil tribal god YHWH, and even to worship a batshit crazy kike pariah named Jesus as "God in human form". Subconsciously this affects Christians in a severe way, causing them to associate the Jews closely with God, which has allowed the Jews, always a clever lot, to control societies for ages.
Something you may not know: The vast majority of Christians are in fact homosexuals in denial. This is emphasized by the morbid self-abhorrence displayed by the dumb shits in this video about faggot marriage.
youtube.com/watch?v=tTu_IPfejLM

Attached: No mention of pedophilia hmmm.jpg (450x711, 97K)

>cite these things because i'm too lazy and too much of a huge faggot
>even afterwards i will say i am right and still be a fedora

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The only hope for the future is the execution of all race traitors. Christcucks worship a fictional foreigner as the avatar of a foreign tribe's deity and adopt foreign values through their foreign cult. Christianity is the source of all the problems we face today. The only solution is the end of Christianity.

Based

H I S T O R Y:
According to the Bible, at least 100 years ago, Jesus of Nazareth? was born in Israel to an unmarried Arab couple: a carpenter and a 14-year-old bitch whom God paid ten cents to love Him longtime that was cheating with some other dude. Jesus was born in a barn, surrounded by animals because his parents were poor as shit. He was an asshole growing up, running away from his parents to heal lepers and drink wine in temples with hobos. Jesus is known to have made up some crazy shit and told everyone that God told him to say it. But of course, we now know that it was just all the acid.

When he was older, lots of people liked him and invited him to their parties because he could (allegedly) turn water into wine and make bread and fish appear out of nowhere. He also (allegedly) made people come back from the dead and ruined everyone's fun by healing aspies and everyone else that had mental disorders and made them normal members of society.

Eventually, people got pissed off at him for ruining their fun and using shitty box wine. Seeing the opportunity, Karl Rove advised Pontius Pilate on how to murder Jesus and become the leader of Israel, which at that point was owned by Rome. Eventually, Jesus was nailed to a cross, though he came back to life three days later. Jews were just as power/money-hungry then as they are now, so they told everyone that Jesus died for his followers and anyone who did everything "Jesus" said could go to heaven. They also made up stories and told people Jesus said them, then they wrote them in 66 different books that collectively make up The Holy Bible. Jesus's devoted followers actually believed this shit, and thus, Christianity was born.

Attached: RIP Bible.jpg (730x1024, 246K)

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It's the proud mudslime turdserb that spams every thread.

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How do you bible boys deal with the fact that the bible has been translated several times? Even if it was the written word of the lord, he didnt translate it to english.

B E L I E F S:
Ten Commandments
1-4: All about kissing god's ass, nothing to do with being a good person. Fuck you, it's all about the Jesus.

5: Children should respect their parents, nothing about parents respecting their children.

6, 8, & 9: Actions that every single society practices, even atheist ones. Christianity doesn't own them.

10: You're not allowed to think certain things, despite the fact that people only better themselves when they want what others have. Oh, and it's ok to have slaves (which many bibles amusingly translate as "servants" in this passage.)
Nothing about rape, abuse, corruption, slavery etc.

T H E O T H E R T E N C O M M A N D E M E N T S:
The other ten commandments are in Exodus 34. The first two are "commit genocide", and "srsly: commit genocide". Most of the rest are bullshit ceremonial practices. But this one is fascinating:

19 “The first offspring of every womb belongs to me, including all the firstborn males of your livestock, whether from herd or flock. 20 Redeem the firstborn donkey with a lamb, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem all your firstborn sons.
Note the lack of any mention of what happens to the children of slaves. Do you think the hebrews redeemed them (buying them back form Jehovah) at the rate of 1 shekel per crotchnugget? Of course not. There are several spots in the pentateuch where Jehovah clearly insists on human sacrifice.

This is one of them. The whole business with Jesus was about God requiring a human sacrifice - it's what Christianity is basically about. Nevar Forget!

Attached: Emochristfag.png (250x301, 126K)

on a side note, flat earth is not biblical
creation.com/isaiah-40-22-circle-sphere
the infamous "circle of the earth" verse is just a mistranslation. the word used is "חוּג" or "chug/khûg" which translates to
>class, group activity ; group, circle (of people) ; (geography) tropic, sphere
>sphere

and while we are at it, the earth being 6000 years old also isnt biblical, its merely around when the story of Adam and Eve starts, and furthermore the word translated as "day" is "Yom" which can mean hour, day, week, month, year, or any undefined amount of time.
In pic related for example it shows that what is translated as "The world was formless and empty" that it actually said "became formless and empty" indicating there happened something before Adam and Eve to make it so. When later then Cain is cursed to wander the land, he fears being killed by OTHERS, even though he is the first born of Adam and Eve meaning there have to be other people around already.
I believe what happened was that the fallen angels (like anunaki) created humans already, the darker races. Then God eventually came along and made people in his image which came to be the line of Noah, Shem, later Abraham, the Israelites which actually are the whites(Will get to that). Thus the mark put on Cain turned his skin dark (will get to Cain being the first Nigger too) to make him appear more like those that are around already.
The Bible merely focuses on this bloodline and thus leaves out stuff happening before it, not saying there never was anything before.
Then eventually the flood happened due to all the degeneracy.

Attached: Genesis became.png (1280x1024, 150K)

there were likely a bunch of cycles we went through believing the old tales. the bible alone implies a time before adam and eve, then the time from adam and eve to the flood, and then from the flood to today even though im not sure if the flood really counts as a beginning of a new cycle or merely got the ongoing one on track. i like to think there will be 5 cycles total, like how in alchemi the world is made up off the 4 elements plus spirit, each cycle working through one of those points which if the aztecs are right about the 5 suns means we are in the last one right now
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Suns
>Nahui-Ocelotl (Jaguar Sun) - Inhabitants were giants who were devoured by jaguars. The world was destroyed.
>Nahui-Ehécatl (Wind Sun) - Inhabitants were transformed into monkeys. This world was destroyed by hurricanes.
>Nahui-Quiahuitl (Rain Sun) - Inhabitants were destroyed by rain of fire. Only birds survived (or inhabitants survived by becoming birds).
>Nahui-Atl (Water Sun) - This world was flooded turning the inhabitants into fish. A couple escaped but were transformed into dogs.
>Nahui-Ollin (Earthquake Sun) - We are the inhabitants of this world. This world will be destroyed by earthquakes (or one large earthquake).
note here is the last cataclysm that happened through water, like the flood and the other 4 elements, water, fire, earth and wind also brought destruction. the Jaguar sun may be the spirit as that was the only case something was destroyed by something alive, something with a spirit. however personally i believe the spirit is what we are working through right now, but well.

However, assuming the biblical timeline is accurate, the flood wasnt the cataclysm 12,5k years ago structures across the world seem to hint at (Göbekli tepe, pyramids, sphinx, angkor wat)seem to hint at as it would be roughly 3k years ago. However the cataclysm before the flood was a rain of fire which fits the comet narrative quite perfectly

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J E S U S:

Christian mythology revolves around a Gary Stu by the name of Jesus. Jesus was a Jewish carpenter who was born from a 16-year-old girl, who got knocked up after she was encountered by an angel. After failing in his first job as a carpenter, Jesus became a magician, developed a huge fetish for BDSM, and became an hero for your sins.

As if this isn't ridiculous enough, Christians also believe that you must pray every day to his undead corpse to remove the evil from your soul that was put there by an all-loving God because a rib-woman ate an apple offered to her by a talking snake who was actually Satan.

Christians will only argue about Christianity if you agree to four preconditions:

All information in the Bible is true, except when it's in metaphors.
Jesus eats your sins so that you can go to Skyland.

There is one God and He is real (and male). No exceptions.

...therefore, Christianity is the one and only Truth. QED.

and remember, there is also a list of guidelines to attacking the book of Revelation:
If any strange occurrence listed in that book happened in any order remotely close to that written in Revelation, Jesus! The prophecy is being fulfilled, REJOICE!

If you are arguing that an occurrence directly contradicted this book of divine vision, you must be reading it out of context.
If you can prove that you're speaking in the proper context, and Revelation is still being contradicted, it must be in GOD'S CONTEXT.
If the point is made multiple times outside of the context it is written in for that particular phrase, it must be a parable.

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO QUESTION GOD'S WORD ANYWAY. All questions will be answered when the Hale-Bopp comet arrives, and takes us to the level above human. Adventist are the ultimate Jew-Christians and should be ass-raped.

Disclaimer: Most Christians probably couldn't read that anyway.

Attached: 300px-Osama-Holo-Jesus.jpg (300x366, 21K)

Lowest IQ argument I've ever seen in my life.

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Then refute it.

Ghey!

C H R I S T I A N S A N D S E X:
Unlike certain other religions, Christianity isn't big on giving you prescriptions (what you can or should do). Rather, Christianity is all about the proscriptions (what you can't do under penalty of God-delivered lightning bolt) to the genitals. Leastwise one good thing can come out of fucking a Christian girl. They are more likely to have anal sex since they cannot have Vaginal sex until they are married. It's not gay if he's under 13... right?

Following the tenets of Christianity can't have sex with:

Anyone outside of marriage.

Animals. Which means furries can't be Christians. Even religion has its upsides.

People of your own gender.

Members of your own family. (Unless you are Lot's daughters and have booze Genesis 19: 30-39)

A woman who is on her period.

...or even your own hand.

Funny thing is, pedophilia is never mentioned in the Bible as a form of sexual immorality. So Catholic priests touching altar boys is awwwright according to 3,000 year old anachronistic scripture written by hallucinating drunkards.

Given these brutal restrictions, it is no surprise that sex scandals are common among the Christian aristocracy. The type of scandal varies by denomination:

Protestants: Leave their wives to run off with teenage sluts.

Evangelicals/Fundamentalists/Neoconservatives: Caught in gay sex scandals, despite being rampant homophobes. Example: Ted Haggard, busted for repeatedly hiring and smoking meth with (but supposedly not having sex with) gay prostitutes.

More ironic is that they oppose homosexuality yet regularly practice sexual repression, believing fornication to be a sin and that Jesus will punish you for even masturbating or having lustful thoughts about a woman. (What better way to prevent homosexuality than convincing men that being attracted to women is evil? lol).

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I'm so glad people are researching this. 8)

Well, since mods are faggots, here a collection of some completed threads on this and other issues

Ancient History
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/198882770
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/201997900
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/208757396
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/213697329

Nazi UFOs and Hollow Earth
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/199110112
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/204141788
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/214689445

the occult principles behind 9/11
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/175292781
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/185365200

False Flags (9/11 included but not as detailed)
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/180380385/
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/191921512

NASA being lying pieces of shit
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/179314945

MKUltra and other mindcontroll
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/205468251
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/209504658

Pizzagate (ctrl + f "hogg" or "paddock" dor the parkland shooting or vegas shooting)
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/209615408
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/209615408/

Satanic and Occult Elite
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/212315565/
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/213628001
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/214246359
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/215195942
Christianity
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/213302688
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/214371995
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/215062711
archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/215785330
Also i made a blog with all this stuff having the info in a better order (as i always adjust according to what others bring up in thread) but misses info others brought up
knowledgeofancients.blogspot.com/

“If no one was in the world was a Christian and you magically found a bible, you would not believe in all of the bullshit presented.„ ~ Some guy named Philip with the truth

The Bible is a boring space opera where God, a bipolar intergalactic tyrant, fucked everyone over who ever thought of crossing him in an effort to show them who wore the pants.
Despite his repeated ruination of mankind, he eventually grew tired of killing off nearly all of the population of which he created and forcing them to incestuously reproduce because he's such a nice guy. He does, however, hate fags. Just ask his favorite manslave, Fred Phelps.
All Christians are hardcore fans of the Bible and will literally stab you in the face if you do not immediately embrace their exact view of God. This exact view conveniently ignores Jesus' explicit prohibitions against self defense and divorce while embracing imaginary prohibitions against drugs. They reject basic scientific facts due to skepticism, yet in a stunning twist, they believe fucking everything written in any book labeled "The Bible", regardless of how unbelievable it is.

Oddly, that guy's name is southpaw, and left-handed people are EVIL according to the bible (that's where the term "sinister" comes from, TEH MOAR U KNO!)

Attached: 300px-Bible_non.jpg (300x448, 26K)

>since my spam rightly got btfo, here's some more spam

T H E B I B LE 2: S P E C I A L E D I T I O N 2-D I S C S E T:

Most Christians are split between the canon original (aka Old Testament) and the money grabbing reboot (aka New Testament). There's also the shitty fanfic spinoff of the New Testament (aka The Book of Mormon), which somehow manages to be even more batshit crazy than the canonical Bible to the point that even real Christians won't go near it, and there is much debate as to which version is best. Clearly, you can trust Encyclopedia Dramatica to give you advice on such matters.
OLD TESTAMENT:

Starting from the beginning of all life as we know it, we learn of God and the mysterious ways of how he rolls. The majority of the Old Testament is made up of telling a lulzy world history that science would've made boring (one must admit, "And on the 3,749,158th day, the amorphous blob grew leg-like appendages" isn't very inspiring when framed and hung up on some redneck's wall). The lulz stem from whenever God, seeing that his creation is plagued with sinners and evil, decides to troll IRL. These included actions such as flooding the entire world, creating the concept of foreign languages just to confuse everybody, slaughtering innocent children, and destroying everyone and everything having anything to do with a city full of faggotry.

However, God has shown a kinder side, as that last act caused him to give a similar city a second chance by sending some self-righteous asshole to tell them to cut it out. They did, but this wasn't enough for the man. Miles away, the man commanded God to kill them anyway, hoping to lulz with God. The man waited for days, but God, feeling untrollish, ignored him, turning him into a weeping husk of a man. God let him die, leaving him and the world a message: "God is not your personal army." The rest of the Old Testament is boring as desiccated dog shit.

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Mods are kikes.

NEW TESTAMENT:
It's a bit like the Old Testament, but with 100% more Jesus, and a lot less of God's awesome wrath. Basically, Jesus goes around, impressing people with His ability to hack into reality (and put Goatse everywhere), sharing his wisdom and love for his children and flipping tables over. He also says the Old Testament should be ignored. Many claim he was the only perfect man. Emphasis on "only", and for good reason: nobody could stand him. They couldn't take anymore of his anus perpetually crapping out moralfaggotry, so they nailed him to a tree. Shortly afterwards, the guy who grassed him up decided he'd gone too far, so he became an hero. Not much else happens, except for Armageddon, which involves Wal-Mart and demons using our heads as toilets (No, seriously).

This half of The Bible is the one more universally accepted as the shiny, happy, family-friendly version of God. As such, it was perfect material for a great, fun-for-the-whole-family movie, which would be called The Passion of the Christ. A three-hour guro flick, every God-fearing mother dragged their kids to see it saying that the R-rating means that the material is a sensitive subject that is told in a manner that isn't sugar-coated, and is intended for persons mature enough to handle it, like their 6-year-old son. Despite this glimmer of intelligence, this logic is never, ever applied to any form of media unless it involves how great and superior Christianity is (The Godfather, despite also featuring Italian thugs, was a waste of celluloid).

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Average christfag schizo

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Why Christfags sperg out like this?

Their immense amount of mental gymnastics and house of cards in their head is very fragile.