Lads, does anyone here have any experience with getting a visa? I need advice, and visa forums are all totally cucked

Why thank you very much, burgerbro. Same goes to you. I have a fiance in a certain best country, and I'm fucking panicking because I have used weed in the past, and you can be banned for life.
If you ask about this on a visa forum, they say the rule is
>always always always tell them 100% truth no matter what, even if you smoked 1 joint 50 years ago you have to tell them
Now, my last joint was 7 weeks ago, and I'm drinking a fuck ton of water to piss clear, but now I'm reading that you should always tell them, because "they find out" if you're lying, and they ban you for life. Which seems a bit harsh, considering you can be convicted for fucking manslaughter and still be eligible for one.
The whole thing has had me looking at very tall buildings and bridges with a strange sense of longing...

fuck off we're full, Ahmed

I'm whiter than you though. I guarantee it.

>The whole thing has had me looking at very tall buildings and bridges with a strange sense of longing...
Please don't

>7 weeks ago
you're fine. you would've been clean over a weekend. ease off on the water now, they'll know what you're up to if your piss is too clean. the faggots won't find out unless they have a fucking time machine, don't worry. Do not worry. you are 100% clean.
t. a Jow Forums user actually not being full of shit

I probably won't, but man, I have so much riding on this. I am lucky to have a really great girl who's not a thot, or a bitch or a feminist or anything like that, and we've been together for a decade now, and it all might be in the toilet because I was a fucking retard and I smoked weed. I told her my worries earlier today and she just started crying. It breaks my heart to disappoint her, and she's already been more than patient with this whole thing.
If I can't marry her, then I've wasted the best years of her life, and I can't live with that. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

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>crying because you had a joint over a month ago
she dumb

Cheers bro. I hate to even come here with fucking blogposts, but as I say, I've searched up and down on visa forums all day every day for about a week now, and literally everyone gives a total NPC response like
>weed is illegal! You MUST tell the physician every drug you ever consumed because they WILL know
Basically, they all say to disclose your drug use and get an extra year added onto your visa time, or omit your drug use and potentially get a lifetime ban (if they somehow know).
I've lost sleep over this shit, user. I came here to get a real response, such as yours. And I'm thankful for it.
I even asked a forum today "If I'm pissing clean and I tell them 'no' when they ask, then how would they possibly even know?"
and all the responses were shit like "Lying to them is immigration fraud and will get you in serious trouble", rather than an actual down-to-earth response. Literally who the fuck hasn't smoked some weed during their life anyway?

Nah user she's not crying because of that, she was crying because of the situation we're in. Potentially having an extra year wait or a lifetime ban.

To America? Just join grinder if you want a stranger to spend 5 hours pulling your anus inside out, you can do it in the privacy of a public bathroom instead of going to all that trouble of meeting the TSA.

Fucking hell lad, this is the first thing I've seen all day that's made me laugh.

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Glad I could help!

Even just laughing a little bit has helped alleviate this anguish, friend. I'll probably be sound, like the Burgerbro said. How the fuck would they ever know I smoked a weed if it's not present in my system? I don't have a criminal record or anything, and a clean bill of health. They're not fucking wizards...

there truly is no way for them to know unless they confiscate your phone and do a search like no other in the history of mankind. fucking forensics, tracking down potential witnesses and interrogating them, etc. be rational and realize they don't even suspect a thing and if they did, it'd be the world's greatest achievement proving it.

Thanks m8, this is exactly what I was thinking. The only thing is, I won't know the results of my urine screening myself. They send it to the embassy for them to open, and then they question you and compare your answers. So basically I have to be 100% positive that I'm not pissing dirty.
I had a thought. Every time a president or politician has been asked about this, and they said "I didn't inhale", their answer would essentially be 'no' too...

marijuana is for degenerates
go back to jamaica wigger

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I know it is, and I won't ever go near the weed jew ever again.

dude
not cool

I can take a joke better than most, leafbro.

name something pot objectively does that alcohol doesn't do worse. pro tip: your head is up your ass