Also, sorry for putting this on such a delay. I didn't feel like starting an new one after the last session was finished and eventually forgot about it. Now I'm reviving it.
Fortress HP: 125
Roll
>0 - Get killed by a crossbow wielding archer. (Not much of a difference, but you get killed anyways. Can no longer reroll after this.) >1 - Yell swears at the fortress. (1 Damage) >2 - Fight against a ninja. (Has 6 HP. Kills you if you don't kill him after 5 rolls. You can't reroll after he kills you.) >3 - Slash the fortress wall. (3 Damage) >4 - Adds 15 HP to the fortress. >5 - Try to break the door down with a log. (5 Damage) >6 - Releases flaming rolling logs at you. Roll a 7 or higher to avoid getting killed. >7 - Revive a dead user of your liking. >8 - A mage electrocutes you and an user that rolled before you. >9 - Burst through the wall with a tank. (10 Damage) >Dubs - Double damage. >Trips - Triggers a random event.
Good luck!
Soldier hall of fame:
American Animeposter (Been there since the beginning and hasn't missed a game since.)
Irish user with terrible luck (Dealt the final blow on the 1st fortress and got trips twice.)
American user (Rolled a 8222222 and cancelled all trips for that game.)
Flaming log attack! Roll a 6 or higher to dodge them. Dubs! You dodged the logs and can now deal double damage. You survived the rolling logs attack and can reroll again. A ninja attacks you. Roll to damage him. Ninja HP: 5
Ninja rolls:
>0, 1, 2, 3, 4 - Miss >5, 6 - 1 Damage >7, 8 - 2 Damage >9 - 3 Damage >Dubs - Instakill You yell swears at the fortress and deal 1 damage. Current HP: 124. You can now revive a fellow dead user. The fortress gets repaired. Current HP: 125. You deal 10 damage to the fortress! Good job! Current HP: 115. Smashin' and slammin'. You deal 3 damage. Current HP: 112. 10 DAMAGE! Current HP: 102.
You ded. You can now smash and slam twice as hard. Double damage. You deal 3 damage to the fortress. Current HP: 99. You can now revive someone. You didn't. You were just late then. You actually dealt the final blow in the fifth one. Anyways, you and Romania instantly get killed. Shit. You get Kot ID and damage the fortress by 1. Current HP: 98.
IT'S TIME FOR A RANDOM EVENT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Suddenly, a Necro Canon gets activated and kills everyone who's alive and brings the dead back to life. You may now roll freely.
Joseph Williams
rollissimo!
Jordan Howard
Since you have just arrived, you didn't get affected by the shot of the cannon. You deal 10 damage to the establishment. Current HP: 85.
William Reyes
Fug!
Landon Young
ah, what a scam
Joshua Myers
Flaming rolling log attack. Roll a 7 or higher to survive.
Cooper Davis
You are dead, my friend. That's what you get for rolling trips.
Nah, You died already. Also, miss. 4 turns left. You deal 3 damage to the ninja. 3 HP left. 3 turns left. You can now revive somebody who died. You deal 1 damage to the ninja. 3 turns left. 5 HP left. You can revive yourself.
You deal 2 damage to the ninja. 1 HP left. 2 turns left. DUBS! You stab the ninja in the nuts and he's left to die a painful death. You can now roll freely. You revive yourself and receive the power of Double Damage. Ya deal 1 damage to the ninja ya bastid. 2 turns left. 4 HP left. Dead.
Owen Carter
Releasing psi-ops, minds more smashed and slammed than even the most inbred snarf
The mage accidentally falls off the tower while he's casting a spell. You're alive after all. Rolling log attack (on fire)! Roll a 7 or higher to avoid. You deal 3 damage to the fortress. Current HP: 74. You got smashed and slammed.
The dragon came back into the castle after telling his wife and kids that he needs to ''buy some milk in the store.''. Each dub is an instant game over for this session.
Ethan Morris
You may now roll freely.
Luke Fisher
Sorry I'm back, was just checking on /f/. I'm gonna miss it when it's gone Anyways I'm going for it