I wasted 44 ETH on a hooker

I fucked up so bad this time. Why do I have these urges? It truly sucks being such a horny motherfucker 247. I'm a virgin and had the chance to lose my virginity..but I fucked up because of my OWN ignorance. Anyways...I decided to message this girl on facebook who's a stripper. I decided to ask if she wanted to hangout and she surprisingly agreed almost immediately. We kept talking and it slowly got sexual..and then we got to talking about crypto..then back to sex. She said she would sleep with me if I gave her some ETH. She never gave me a specific amount of ETH, but I had 45 in my wallet.

We met up at dunkins and we sat on my laptop for a good 20 minutes. I showed her my ETH balance in metamask and she gave me her wallet address. She was very quiet the whole time, maybe surprised that I had this much ETH. I told her I was an ETH king and she chuckled so sexually. It was cute.

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She had her ETH and we decided to sit in Dunkins for another half hour before we went back to her place.

For 44 ETH, you'd expect a real amazing fuck, right? Especially from a stripper.

This was horrible and NOTHING like what I've seen from videos.

We started kissing, took off eachothers clothes, and she pulled a condom out of her purse. She tried putting the condom on my penis but my penis was too soft and it wouldn't work. She decided to vigorously shake my penis until blood started to flow through. She got the condom on somewhat and started sucking away. I thought it was weird, is it normal to have someone suck a dick with a condom on??

I took my pants off all the way and I fixed a wedgie at the same time. At the same time I fixed the wedgie, I had remembered I passed gas earlier and it smelled horrible. I didn't think much of it until now when the wedgie turned into a crusty glue of shitty underwear onto the hairs of my anus. She decided to slap my penis on her tongue, I pulled the underwear down as hard as I could, praying there wouldn't be any smell or pain.

Immediately, she held her nose, looking at me with worried eyes. I apologized, she got dressed, she left. I realize I should've showered or something. It's fucking weird how smells and scents can turn people off.

she blocked me on facebook.

and I now realize she agreed to hanging out because all of my posts are blockfolio pictures

That’s funny OP because I fucked up so bad this time. Why do I have these urges? It truly sucks being such a horny motherfucker 247. I'm a virgin and had the chance to lose my virginity..but I fucked up because of my OWN ignorance. Anyways...I decided to message this girl on facebook who's a stripper. I decided to ask if she wanted to hangout and she surprisingly agreed almost immediately. We kept talking and it slowly got sexual..and then we got to talking about crypto..then back to sex. She said she would sleep with me if I gave her some ETH. She never gave me a specific amount of ETH, but I had 45 in my wallet.

We met up at dunkins and we sat on my laptop for a good 20 minutes. I showed her my ETH balance in metamask and she gave me her wallet address. She was very quiet the whole time, maybe surprised that I had this much ETH. I told her I was an ETH king and she chuckled so sexually. It was cute.

This can't be real.

You god damn white knight cucks. What the hell man. Giving women all this money and power because vagina.

Well OP nothing of value was lost, other than your fictional internet dollars, also stop paying for sex, start taking better care of yourself, maybe shower some more, and stop making up sad stories an autistic anime origami board

I don't get it
Why did you send her 44 eth?
Why did you show her your balance?

you could have bought plane tickets to germany and fugged a 10 for half that much

Dude

what the fuck is this? you gave a stripper almost $20k in dunkin donuts to fuck you, and you dont even bother to shower that day?

if this isnt a larp, why? you do know you didnt have to send your entire balance, right retard?

I wanted good sex

Say she stole it from you. Call the police. Dont mention you offered any for sex. Shes a dumb hoe and will probably put that shit in her bank acxount. Then there will be no proof she made the money legally. Either you get it back or they take it all from her in taxes, either way: revenge

You could've had good sex with like .5 ETH

fuckoff

why not

but why did she slap my penis on her mouth with a condom on?

do you think she's into me?

should I give her more ETH?

I have about 3.3 BTC I can convert over...

Do you think she'll unblock me on facebook if I slowly tease her with ETH deposits?

Like 0.1 there...0.3 there...just to let her know I'll shower next time?

Can I let her know this through etherscan? She's addicted I think

stupid larp. nobody is this retarded

You retard, Ill throw you a bone since I no longer do this. Even if you dont know how to code you can buy an Eth or crypto wallet mobile app source code yourself.

>launch mobile app for crypto wallet
>buy 100s of fake reviews
>tell stripper im the eth king, show her my mobile phone balance
>tell her id pay her $2k in eth if she leaves early and we get a hotel
>tell her to download the wallet and ill give her half up front
>she downloads MY FUCKING WALLET FROM THE GOOGLE PLAY STORE
>i send half, shes satisfied
>note, i flip a switch and all accounts created have a block on sending just to make sure i block her account, i remove this later for all the normal users
>we go to the hotel, i pay the other half
>i fug her, cum on her face, film it for an extra $1k
>i leave
>she flips out calls me a few days later saying she cant move the eth off the wallet
>CHECKMATE YOU WHORE, IM THE MOTHER FUCKING ETH KING, YOU TELL ANYONE I LEAK THIS VIDEO YOU SLUT

ETH a month ago 14000. Today only 395. At this rate by next month it will only be 11. Which makes it an ordinary price to pay for a hooker.

In a month it won't be embarrassing.

>do you think she's into me?
>should I give her more ETH?
>I have about 3.3 BTC I can convert over...
The key to good trolling is subtlety.

how about you stop being judgemental and realize that some people don't function like others do?

I'm on 7 different medications and have 4 mental illnesses and I've been diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder along with superiority disorder and bipolar excessive spending disorder.

I've never done drugs though.

so no?

LMAO it costs one eth to fuck a decent hooker why did you give a dirty ass stripper 44eth to suck you off with a condom on
For 44eth you should be able to shit on her face, but she left because you farted?

Either you're larping or the biggest beta to ever live

hahah this was very funny

can I find a app maker developer technician on fiverr?

I didn't fart.
It was like..smells that were held back in my underwear but it was too crusty to take off..when I took it off..all the smells pretty much unleashed into her face. She was so cute when it happened and it's honestly a masturbatory thought.

>is it normal to have someone suck a dick with a condom on??

Hahahahahahaahahahah this is the best thing if read all week

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wash your ass, ffs.

I did afterwards, asshole

dude tell me you are larping, because a hoe is 120 - 300$ max

>afterwards
too little too late.

When people say something like Link can never take off because it would make too many NEETs rich, I remind myself that most of them are retarded enough to do shit look this.

Bro I would've fucked you better than her for 5ETH

condom sex is a complete wast of time

Well the sorry tale of a smelly shitty arsed pajeet wearing scrunchied skidmarked yfronts after substantially overpaying up front for a brass who halfheartedly gave a lukewarm performance and ended up sneering has given me a laugh anyway. Its that ludicrous it must be true.

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