So I havn't worked in 5 years, my first and only job was at a high class golf course as a bathroom attendant. I got sick of hearing people shit all day, some days I would hear at least 20 people groaning trying to get a turd out.
Needless to say I went crazy and had to quit because I was having nightmares.
I thought about saying I won the lottery but that is public record.
Would saying I had a disease work? Help me out /biz bros.
You were taking care of your sick mother
Well, why did you actually have that long of a gap?
L I E
You can make up employment history do you think employers are going to check for some minimum wage garbage?
but why havent your worked during the last 5 years in the first place?
Pretty much this. I'd make up a reasonable job and give a friends number as your old manager. Have them say they no longer work there, but that you were a good employee.
This. They won't find out until after they hire you so they'll let it slide
Just say you haven't worked in 5 years, but immediately follow that up with a positive, relevant point about your good fit for the position.
Honest is the best policy + demonstrating a good fit = worthwhile job offer.
If they don't want you simply because you haven't worked and are comfortable being open about it, then they are stupid and aren't worthy to have you as an employee.
Just say you were a poop attendant for 5 years. They'll be so disgusted with you they won't even bother to check.
Because I was a neet but my mother just told me to get a job or get out. I don't go out of the house once a month and she lays this bullshit on me. She is calling to cut off the internet tomorrow.
well, try to start your own business. If you can trade some crypto and then diversify your gains. Try not end up wagecucking and if you do better be for a short period of time.
whats wrong with wage cucking faggot
what kind of job are you going for?
don't be down--work can be cool and fun.
I had a gap of 5 years too. What I did was make myself a neat looking website for a translation service and on my resume, put that I managed a variety of freelance translation projects to include my native language pairs over the last 5 years. Got a domain and hosted free on github pages. In "contact us" I put my name and some fake names of imaginary people I managed. On my resume I also put that I worked in other countries on work travel visas and put foreign names as references with my own old phone numbers and fake emails. Kek, now I work for the US government, doing nothing all day again, but now getting paid for it.
Just lie and list you worked at a business that went belly-up. Unless you're applying for a professional gig (doctor, lawyer, engineer) HR is not likely to follow up.
OP, on your resume just put that you have been working at your last job the entire time. A lot of companies don't check. You can even make up what your last job was. If a company checks and finds out you lied, who cares, they just won't hire you. But you will get hired by a company that doesn't check, and it only takes one company that doesn't check to actually hire you.
I just got home from a job interview myself. My complete resume for the past 21 years is a lie. I write my resume to say that I've done whatever job that I'm applying for, even if I haven't done it. The companies that check and find out that I'm lying just throw out my resume, and the ones that don't check call me in for interviews.
You can't do this for jobs like to be an engineer or mechanic or something, but there are lots of jobs where you can fake it, especially bullshit office jobs like the one that I just got back from interviewing for.
The last two jobs I had I completely faked my way into with fake made up resumes, and listed my friends as references. When my last jobs called to check my references, my friends lied and said that they worked with me at the previous companies I worked at, even though they didn't.
It's all a game OP. A lot of people fake it, so why not do it yourself.
Tell them you were caring for a sick family member. Maybe go volunteer for a few months. They will accept you. You will then have something on your resume that says you aren't a complete loser
Or don't even mention that it's been five years, just pretend you never had a job before. It almost seems better it would be your first job.
this
Say you haven't worked because you were trading bitcoin. I said that at my last job and I got hired kek
I was always told to not lie on your resume but that was a lie. A fucking lie.
this.
say you were a trader.
say you invested in bitcoin and made a lot of money and lived on that for a few years
>getting nightmares from people shitting
There is a Pajeet joke in here somewhere