Your cunt

used public transport for two days a row without paying.

I have rebroadcast, retransmitted, or accounted of a game, without the express written consent of Major League Baseball

All of it?

- Drunk driving.
- Numerous instances of software and media pirating.
- Vandalism
- Urinating in public.
- Ignoring traffic lights as a pedestrian (the only thing I was caught doing by the police)
- Mild violence/assault (pushed a random drunk guy who was peeing outside a bar so that he fell on his face)
- Threats and incitement to racial hatred on the internet.

FUCK YOU FLATFOOT YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME

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I had sex before the age of 18, meaning that I'm a statutory rapist since two underage people having sex are both committing felonies

I believe the criminal report said:
"Interference with the ordinary enjoyment and operation of the transit system"

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fuck can't think of any, but I'm quite sure I broke some traffic rule at some point, I'm a fucking mess

I would too. The fuck do they expect? To call up insurance and have you pay high premiums for a long ass time just because their precious car got a dent that they probably would never notice unless it was pointed out to them?

Oh no, it was extremely noticeable.

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Doubt that's the law unless there's a big age gap desu

>since two underage people having sex are both committing felonies

No they aren't you mongoloid, statutory rape is only when one partner is under age and one is over.

kek. oh well fuck em

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Forgot I did that too, though I’m pretty sure I only left a scratch.

My fellow criminal

It's the law but not a felony
>(b) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is not more than three years older or three years younger than the perpetrator, is guilty of a misdemeanor.

1. proxyland
2. I am the hacker they call Jow Forums

EAGLE ONE
COME IN EAGLE ONE DO YOU COPY?

PROCEEDING TO PERMISSION TO USE LETHAL FORCE?

True, just clarifying how it worked.

> just clarifying how it worked.
A 17 year old having sex with a 16 year old is guilty of a misdemeanor
A 17 year old having sex with a 14 year old is guilty of a felony
Everyone involved is underage

>self checkout
>lots of stuff
>assistant isn't looking
>scan vegetables 20-30 times
>put meat and stuff in bag
>pay 20 euro for stuff worth 50 euro

>weigh fruits on the weighting stand in the shop
>put my hand underneath the weighing platform and lift it gently
>save 3 three euro on potatoes and the cashier is none the wiser because I bought a shitton of fruits and vegs

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i've sucked cock for $100

no, i am Jow Forums

you're a big guy

>Bought and did drugs
>drove under the influence of the herbal jew
>never got caught for it because you're always extra cautious and paranoid behind the wheel
Good times

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Assault, piracy and child porn possession (technically) but thats all. Never did drugs or anything.

I tried to murder a lot of people by causing traffic accidents, just by curiosity

my placing tires in the middle of the street at 3m so the cars would crash.

I had fun

petty theft
online piracy
tresspassing

based

Copy that Mockingjay. Deployment of ground troops has been authorized at your location.

Over and out!

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>child porn possession

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Tax fraud

drug possession, consumption
shoplifting
self prostitution

nothing reallt serious

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I have aspergers

>reporting another leaf to the FBI
report him to the RCMP or CSIS mate

Loli hentai counts as CP in Canada and I downloaded a Nausicaa doujinshi as well as a few other pictures thats all

-Drinking inside of an abandoned plant (private property)
-Drinking in a public place
-did drug
-fighting in a public area.
-dressing like a hipster
- feeding an israeli (jewish) with pork meat.

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I launder money for the local drug dealer

Once, when I was leaving the parking structure and the guy in front of me paid and the gate opened, I zoomed out behind him without paying.

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So... today's the day

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>yes hello police? there's an anonymous canadian in posession of CP
>yeah thats it
>he's canadian and browsing Jow Forums right now, you should be able to track him down

How is giving a jew pork a crime? Is it actually illegal or is it because you lied about what the meat was?

Yes hello Mr RCMP/GRC.
I see you have probable cause now.
Enjoy.

>Bought drugs
>Sold drugs
>Trafficked drugs
>Solicited sex services (bought)
>Taken a bustrip without paying
>Taken a metro without paying
>Tax evasion

AMA

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>is it because you lied about what the meat was

This.

i just hated the guy, he was an asshole so i give him a surprice.

Used to steal the fancy valve caps of peoples cars as a kid.

I was white straight male in public space
2 cases of misgendering
One rape ( touched a woman's foot with my foot on the subway by mistake)

wanna be friends

Not muslim or jew, but pork is essentially and unironically shit meat. Only bacon is good, really.

Samefag

I didn't shit my pants at Walmart.

BG
Serial killer. The moniker they use for me is "The Gypsy Strangler". Heh, they'll never catch me.

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badboy

say hello to pdi faggot

>Americans tip to FBI
Oh that level of tipping culture

Great video desu
youtu.be/Cx1J2CzNnS8

How do they know that you're a gypsy and not a regular Bulgarian?

Being agnostic

being asian mexican

Being a phonefag

>fun & games
uh...

wot?

Ising come and LSD. Also, stealing a steet sign. Joining a frat has been interesting.

I was referring to myself since i usually go on Jow Forums on my laptop but my sister borrowed it and i had to use a phone

Are you from Interpol?

so it's kind of a reverse bantz? is that cultural? now I'm interested, also, share your lechon/cebu family recipe

I hope OP is an anthropomorphic fox with a rivalry with a racoon and an accent of indeterminate origin.

I dont have a lechon recipe and im not from Cebu but in a region near it

I flew the planes on 9/11

so what's the point of your flag, what's your region or culture like? Don't mind OP, we are hijacking this shit

I'm driving my lada without a licence for two years :^)

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Took the train without buying a ticket
Trespassing
Stole three chocolate bars and a pair of pink panties

The region im in is Negros Occidental and the local pastries their are too sweet and it's famous for it's inasal AKA marinated barbeque chicken and the most popular festival here is Masskara festival in Bacolod City

Just generic young adult/teen shit, nothing to write home about

>admits it's not worth telling
>still posts anyways
was it autism?

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I don't wanna write a bunch of shit out

>admits he doesn't want to type anything
>types out another response
Hmmm...

I used to steal my teacher's pens.

But you asked a question

>polite people pleaser
HMMMMM

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I sold weed to my one of my old stupid classmates. Once. Pretty badass if you ask me.

STOP

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consider a noose around your neck

Trying to avoid paying yearly inxome tax.

Torrenting and skipping traffic lights (I'm late to work often so I just skip traffic lights, I mean, it's 4 AM, there's literally no fucking cars and I've lost up to 5 minutes at empty intersections)

this but ironically

Pork chops are good too, but turkey is superior in every way to pork.

>self prostitution

Wtf how were you caught?