You wake up in a rural Serbian village where men pay for Albanian brides

You have no appreciation for true romance.

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lifestock doesn't have to

is this picture from some village in tanzania or something? looks like the middle ages

looks comfy desu

I wish that some serb could abduct me, lock me up in some wine cellar far away from civilization, (where I'd slowly lose what little tan I have, and my Vitamin D levels would tank, but the Serbs ought to know to feed me a nutritionally-balanced diet that could fix this) and put me on hormone therapy.
Over the course of a year or or a couple underground, I would slowly see my dick shrink in size, my libido would tank for a while, my already-wide hips would appear to become even wider because of the change in fat distribution, and I'd grow some breast tissue that would require me to wear a bra as time progresses. But I'll not just sit there, with my mind wasting away. I'd have all of the the ways of pleasing a man jammed into me. I'll be taught how to cook by the serb that abducted me, and I'd often cook for him and his buddies, although I would stay hidden away in the kitchen because I was commanded by him (and because it would be really embarassing for me) to be seen in an incomplete state. However cute I am right now left aside, I wouldn't want to be seen by other people until I look and behave like a bona-fide girl.
Then, on my third jubilee since being abducted, where I'll more or less look good by my criteria, I'd be freed. But not quite. I'll be put on a strict lifting routine that would beat my atrophied ass (atrophied from spending a year staying cooped up underground) into shape. I'd be forced to do Bulgarian squats, various other lifting exercises, and cardio mostly involving swimming (I don't know how to swim, but the all-mighty Serbs would teach me), where I'd strip down to my bikini much to the enjoyment of the Serb that abducted me.
Then, as my fourth jubilee since my abduction nears by, I'd be taken and sold to a Serb who is none the wiser regarding the fact that I am actually a Bulgarian man.

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Would you?

probably some serb under a proxy

Who gives a shit?

100% чиcт бългapин.
Mиcлиш ли чe нeкъв мижaв cъpбин щe cи имa изoбщo пpeдcтaвa oт тeзи нeщa?

ahem

Azis, I can't read your moonrunes. But post your wide hips pls, let me see them.

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But you're just a stranger! If you see me naked I wouldn't be able to get married afterwards!

Dw, I'll marry you. But only if you post 'em first.

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EEEEEEEEEEH? Marry? Two men can marry?
A-anyway, though my hips may be wide, they're really not erotic, and my midriff is nothing outstanding. Also, I don't want to be seen just yet! Although I am an avid cycist, I've gained 3 kilos during the winter and it shows! Please understand!

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ITT: why Serbs would rather marry Albanians than fellow South Slavs

Serbs are not Slavs, they are MENA shitskins the same as Albanians.

>Albanian brides

They're Vlachs and orthodogs, ie not Albanian.

everyone looks miserable on that pic

I was doing part time at a taxi transport company and we had quiet the few balkan people working there. One of the guys there actually married the serbian cousin of one of the Serbs working there.
I got out bevor they could arrange a shotgun wedding

nobody wants to be with a Serb. They're subhumans.

i want shqiptar gf

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Why do you hate serbians?

Oh shit, that looks like my history teacher. Could've my teacher been a sh*ptar?

Because they're your rapebabies.

>in b4 denial

you and they were in the same country for 300 years with totally open borders

>32yo
>not married

She's a thot.

>Saudi genes in the Balkans

u wot m8, T*rks and Greeks are the same race and it was the T*rks who were raping you

SMOL

lol who cares?

>a future where she becomes the meat toilet and the breeding sow of a strong, exemplary serb who will support her for the rest of her life is not a happy one for her
Really wish I were a woman now, lads. I feel like I could have a better shot at being a woman than women do. Too bad I'm stuck as a man.

>eyes
>green
i fucking hate insecure mindlets who have shit colored eyes or bright shit colored eyes (yes hazel is also shit colored) and they call it green

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God I wish that was me.

pay for Albanian bride and enjoy rural Serbian life

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>this is what Bulgarian boys dream about

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for shame that there are families agreeing to this shit
but peasant are gonna peasant anyway

That's not a real Bulgarian. A real Bulgarian will do the same, but he'd play the long game and murder the S*rb he is engaged to as a revenge for not returning Macedonia to us and causing the Second Balkan War.

gib albo milkers

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I'm secretly not surprised that this is a reality in Alboland, be it peasants doing it or not.

Isn't Northern Albania where the "superior" Ghegs live?

Albanian dsl

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>top gheg

Dont let your dreams be dreams.
start taking those hormones and be a trap

after or before he's cummed inside by a party of drunk serbs?

>I'm secretly not surprised that this is a reality in Alboland
not really but it's one mutt kike posting this shit every day
also, do something about that tap water

The long game. If a Bulgarian's going to get closer to his goal of massacring serbs by having Serbs cum inside his moist boihole first and make it all creamy and sticky, he's gonna toughen it out and let it happen.

I think I'm too old for this already. I'm 20; if I were to go on hormones now, I'd rather not, since it would look flawed. I think I should've started 7 years ago.
>do something about that tap water
What do you mean?

>What do you mean?

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youtu.be/JW8DNStF3TE