/CHI/

good post

this is a rude poster free zone

...

Tiresome.

you still up?

Russian waifu poster here,
I realized that the only worth I have to women is to be a human ATM so I fell for the findom meme and I'm paying a girl $50 a week to call me a worm.

you where doing so well

Yeah, just browsing aimlessly for now.
>findom
That really is one especially bad meme. It would probably be better for you to go back to cam girls and pay them to be nice to you and to listen to you, paying someone to berate you doesn't sound good. Atleast you make a decen't amount of money, you've got something going for you. What i'm trying to say is I hope you get some help with your self-esteem (i'm pretty sure we all could do with some help in that regard, I know I could), this findom meme you're getting into can only damage it more.

An actual psychologist could also be an option. I've been trying to analyze myself for a long time now so i've got a pretty good picture about the things that are bothering me, i'm not sure if it would be of any help to me if i'd let some professional tell me things that I already know. Maybe i'd get some tips and tricks how to get over the past from a professional but I can't really think what would really help, other than being able to redo which is impossible. I've also been frequently getting into thought cycles that end me thinking about all the things that have gone wrong and the consequences of those things on me this past week or so (I every now and then get those but they've been more frequent lately), it leaves me miserable and unable to do anything.

Attached: broken dream team.jpg (706x720, 52K)

No I wasn't, I failed all my goals.
Also tried asking a girl out irl but I couldn't because I was terrified. I've finally realized it's just never gonna happen.

I guess, but in a way it felt really good to have my beliefs validated and to feel like I have a purpose again.
I know exactly what you mean about self analyzing though. I do that a lot too. Like I know I have a shitty self esteem, and I do things that are self destructive, but I can't stop myself.
But I also don't want to see a therapist because then they'll take away my guns.
I hope things turn out better for all of us man.

yeah but you weren't wasting money so it was still good
psychologist and therapist are a waste of money

>But I also don't want to see a therapist because then they'll take away my guns.
Makes sense, didn't think about that. Yeah that would just make things worse in that case.
>and I do things that are self destructive
Iktf, which isn't really nice. I'm wasting so much time when I should be putting in lots of work (entrance exams and stuff) but I just don't have it in me.
>I hope things turn out better for all of us man.
Me too.

>psychologist and therapist are a waste of money
I think you're probably right. I can't really see how that would be of any help to me, I could however see myself becoming more anxious talking about stuff in detail so it would probably just do some harm and i'd get nothing of any value in return.

I've already had "help" and it did nothing

That would probably be how it'd go with me too. It's not like I need to be told how I feel about things and I already know how I got in this state. I'm not entirely sure how i'm going to go forward though, i'm competing against plenty of highly motivated people while i'm barely able to finish a chapter at a time.

try going to the library and reading there maybe it will help if you aren't at home trying to do it

I grew up a poorfag all my life, I don't even use my money.

Oh shit man getting the willpower to study for exams was the worst part of school. You should try reading just like one or two pages. Even though it's not that much, you will build up momentum.

that only makes it worse

I'll just need to try to force it. I've had weeks where I could do a decent amount but lately i've just found it hard. Atleast i've gone over everything already and i'm just doing things again.

is there a way to see what all you got wrong the last time?

Sleep is an important part of memory so remember to get enough of it.

Sleep is all around very important, I remember not getting enough sleep being more or less the norm while I was in school and I noticed a drop in all around performance (sleep is one of the things I know i've systematically fucked up throughout my life). I've never really been able to go to sleep early, even when I have to wake up. But yeah i've been trying to sleep better lately. Speaking of sleep i'll go to sleep now, good night.
I know where I messed up last time. Also I noticed that I hadn't prepared to actually take a test, I had read everything but I couldn't time myself properly in the actual exam since it had been so long since the last time I had done one. I'll need to prepare myself better for taking the exam next time, not just read the material.

>I've never really been able to go to sleep early, even when I have to wake up
*even when I have to wake up early

just try pushing through with the studying

bump