Be German

Are Germans even human?

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I still remember my 7 year old reaction seeing one of those toilets. I couldn't believe it. I was so confusing...

If the stereotypes were true I'd move to there

liking this as a Burger is suffering no one else does

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Once had to hand in a spec of shit for a lab test.
Came in handy that day.

you're supposed to roll up like 5 sheets of toilet paper and throw them in to create a barrier before you shit to prevent splashback

have fun washing your toilet after every shit, g*Rmoids

It is actually not safe do it that way, there could be contamination from other people's shit.
The recommended way is to build a layer of toilet paper, which is basically sterile, and that works well with conventional toilets.

Just move in here.

That's a waste of paper and it doesn't even work, it only works for the first "segment" of shit. German toilets like in the OP nowadays have some sort of anti-stick coating and you practically never have to use a toilet brush.

I'll have you know it's very refreshing on a sweaty summer's day

i used to do this, it stinks so fucking bad, now what i do is put my asshole really close to the water is it doesn't splash.

How do you even find out that you're into that in the first place?

>having to smell the stench of shit for the entire shitting session until you flush the drain
No thanks I prefer having the turd completely submerged so I can shitpost from the toilet for 30 minutes without vomiting.

Hello Zizek

>be American
>due to the heaps of processed food and mexican spices only watery shit comes out
>don't bother using the toilet because you much rather hop into your shitty oversized car from the 70s guzzling 30 litres of gas per 100 miles and drive to your nearest walmart to buy more processed food which is more genetically advanced than you are to shart into your cheap walmart parts until the watery shit is too much for your walmart underpants to bear and it runs down your pig-like leg
>moments later an overweight negress rolls your way with an overweight police office and starts arguing with you over the greasy, oily, slimy shart that is slowly dripping down your ankles
>get shot by police officer because you forgot to tip the walmart greeter

Way way way too many doujins and anal masturbation

Eww

It's normal toilet
Not like yours, where you do shit and water splashes with shit on the ass

>30 minutes
dont do this
please
i got anal thrombosis which hurt like a bitch for one week and another 3weeks until the bubble receded back into the rektum, justbecause i was on my phone shitposting for 40 mins

IF I HAD SUCH TOILET I WOULD HAVE PAIN

THNAK YOU GERMANY

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>implying this is the average german in 2018

>Be American
>fart
>gas comes out as liquid

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