/brit/ cover my eyes electric blue edition

ah yes the FT
can just imagine the hordes of slimy polsci and econ uni students who constitute their readership

How's that gonna make money tho

can't stop farting my chair is absorbing the shit smell and i don't think it will ever leave

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Fuck off jew

hmmmmmm
good for lunch i guess

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TRY ME FIGHT FIGHT
FIST FUCK ON SIGHT
WRIST HEAVY FAT DYKE
POP MOLLY MIKE IKE
I GOT GLACIAL WHITE ICE
AND MY BITCH RACK NICE
AND I DO FIGHT DYKES
RIDE MY DICK LIKE A BIKE

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niggers we are riding this one all the way down to page 10

haha i like twitter memes i am in touch with my peers and am not an outcast

>OK, let’s stop for a second. Before you come at me, I'ma let you know. I'ma blame my A&R. Because he listened to that song many times and he allowed me to say that.. I guess for a second, I thought a cello was a woodwind instrument and it is not. And nobody ever said shit. Nobody ever pulled up a pic and said, “Hey man. I don’t know if you know what this is, but it ain’t that.” I fucked up. I thought Squidward played the cello. He don’t. That’s a flute. I fucked up. But it do sound good.

any haile selassie man in

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Rope yourself.

this confuses and enrages the yank

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what does coke feel like
asking for a friend

Flagrant homosexuality?

abc.net.au/news/2018-05-19/chinas-celebrity-academies-teach-people-how-to-profit-from-fame/9750366

Not a single bit of plastic to be seen

not charismatic, not confident, insecure, no hobbies, no job, never witty, average IQ, the list goes on...

I&I checking in pon di fred

A Russian cowboy?

> he can't even get fishscale coke when located right next to mexico
bruh

Good lad.

>land in LA back in november - first time ever in states
>go to a restaurant in santa monica
>start talking to some random and ended up buying an 8ball off him
>go to some bar across the street and sit it the toilets handing out free lines to everyone
>end up at strippers and spent close to $2k in one night
>didn't fucking sleep till 11am next morning and had to go to vegas that day

>It's at a higher latitude, so why would it have milder winters?
that was more about the summer and it being milder

>island
islands can have different weather to continents because of how the oceans can change things. with our close proximity to a continent, it causes us to get some of their weather but in a weird way

combine that with the jet stream and how that all works you end up with a somewhat humid and relatively mild/warm temperatures (and a fair of rain)
it's why british people make a big kerfuffle out of snow, because it doesn't happen too often

cracking tindr bio

Literally masturbated to princess megz on pause as she was saying her vows

love judas priest

this

Oi lads, I have a query for you all. You ready? Here it is.

You're at a house party (BBQ edition) and you don't know anyone there, aside from the odd half-met aquaintance. What style do you choose to imitate, and why?

>Strong, silent type (Strong, silent type)
>Silent, mysterious watcher (Stares at people and hides in corner drinking)
>Silent, AMUSED, mysterious watcher (Sits in corner with a smug, amused grin, occassionaly shakes his head when something happens)
>Loud, boisterous drinker (Think dwarves, Starks, people who raise their drinks in the air when something happens and goes "AYYYY!")
>Silent, inner-demons drinker (Stares at nothing and drinks)
>Grizzled, experienced veteran ("Ha, you youngsters don't know how to throw a real BBQ")
>Jovial, incredible eater (Happy, hungry, eats an impressive mound of food and goes back for seconds and thirds)
>Silent, inner-demon grill master (Stares at flames and doesn't move)
>Silent, masterful grill master (Flips meats with spatula and cuts meats on cutting board)
>Loud, social grill master ("Haha, Charlene! Just one for you? Haha, you can treat yourself, have two!")
>Loud, in charge grill master ("Ayy, who ordered the steak medium-rare?!")
>Swimming pool socialite (Hangs around pool or hottub casually chatting)
>Life of the party (Life of the party)
>Swimming pool jester (Guy who acts wacky around water, might be only person in pool)
>Jester (Guy who acts wacky)
>Silent, thoughtful DJ (Think guy who scrolls through phone finding slightly depressing melodies)
>Loud, hyperactive DJ (Think radio personality or Coachella DJ)
>Den mother/Host (Attends to guest's needs)
>Dog whisperer (Relates with family pet)
>Screen viewer (Distracts self with phone, television, laptop, etc.)
>Dishwasher (Does chores around house to be useful)
>Hen talker (can only hold polite conversation with middle-aged older women)

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Good taste.

youtube.com/watch?v=SgnOJXIvu6s

Bitch ass nigga who got his ass kicked lmao

for me, it's not going to a fucking house party in the first place

dog whisperer but you punch the family pet

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YA MON
*Proceeds to smoke my dreadlocks*

Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone

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>dickhead cousin is in brisbane for some concert thing for a few days and he wanted me to mind his house and feed the dogs
>is literally a total poorcunt living on the outskirts of western sydney in no man's land
>get there and he has a random mercedes parked in his front yard with no number plates

what the fuck? this has to be stolen right? lmao

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Going to become a preschool teacher and will knock kids the fuck out if they misbehave

I'm ethiopiawog in NYC

good song american friend, hell bent for leather was the first metal song I liked

Holiday or proxy lad?

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would simply be myself

For me, it's the loud, boisterous drinker. HATE trying to act pretentious and interesting and thoughtful. Just want to have a good time, eat some meats, drink some drinks, and make some new friends while shouting "AYYYY" and raising my drink everytime something happens.

Also like to MOG soibois by eating tremendous amounts of food and talking about my PRs. Take THAT you guitar playng hacks. FUCK your thoughtful, silent charade.

is your cousin a lebanese drug dealer called abdel? he fucked off with my merc a few days ago

are you by chance a leb

Umm he's still alive
>rumours him a dead, dem a sick inna duh hed

Is there a treatise on which is more selfish: libertarianism or socialism?

how is socialism selfish you're literally taking from the rich for the benefit of 99% of the human population

>just a proxy

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Idiot

disappointed in Jow Forums, thought they'd be more creative and come up with something funny about the wedding

christ they've gone downhill, the whole site has, but Jow Forums is especially unfunny and shit now

>99% of the human population
Including yourself

snorted a gram of ketamine in 5 days when i was 16, wanted to k-hole but at the same time was fearful of the mom entering my room and finding me drooling on myself, still am yet to k-hole.

sigh, maybe one day.

The gf

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socialism mentioned

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Had the misfortune of going into a planet fitness gym today lads
Extremely DIRE let me tell you.

youtu.be/RR-iFCwNuZM

choon

dis nigga mao finna seize ya hairline
Fat cunt

Holiday
Fooled around with a lady boy in patong (what a hole...) and i think I'm a convert to the 3rd gender desu

dengism seems far more appealing than maoism as far as ideologies go

>filename
nice

*sounds lunk alarm*

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dengist twat
*deports you to the countryside*

A slavic wife is the end goal
There was pizza there for everyone to eat
Had to control my laughter

why?

for me, it's xi jinping thought

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I'm an Anarcho-Fascist Monarchist

tell him to cut his fucking lawn

absolute madman, if you like Patpong try Nana Plaza if you haven't already

>mum found the qt folder

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Had to pick me mom up becuase her car stalled

my penis is like an acorn
when i have to piss, I need to pull it out otherwise i'll just piss straight ahead
but when i get hard it grows to average length

filthy wog

thailad's talking to himself again
the state of that wasteman

Mummy found the cum curtain

gf found the BBC folder

bf found the straight porn folder

Youre in for it now!

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Yo penis like an acorn
My cock be like an OAK
Nigga wish you wish you could
Get some mothefucking wood

>mum found the bradley walsh fanfiction

Don't know if I should rent a car when I go to England or not, they all drive the other way and it would be a difficult transition.

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Mao stepped outside

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What is your obsession with this ugly person? Please stop

it felt good to be alone

What was her reaction to seeing your folder filled with her photos?

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think i'm finally getting the hang of wearing heels
they're not worth it

is that the mercedes from arrested development