ITT: Jow Forums in 1986
ITT: Jow Forums in 1986
Joshua Gonzalez
Hudson Perry
>ywn be a working class British teenager in 1986 that escapes from his dark childhood and dubious future by making anxty rock music and doing speed
Levi Thomas
It's 1986 I'm in the first grade
I'm workin really hard to get Mario laid
I gotta save the Princess so he can get the pussy
Believe me, Mario would get that ass so fuck Luigi
Mario really wants to get her in bed
So bad that he's bustin up bricks with his head
He just wants sex, so forget the wedding bells
Jumpin on little mushroom men and turtle shells
Droppin down green pipes and secret passage ways
Makin his move to the end where the final castle lays
Eat a magic mushroom grow a little higher
Eat a white flower and spit balls of fire
All these creatures that attack him
Cut Mario slack
Oh shit hold on I'll be right back
I'm gonna beat the game if it takes me all summer
It's gotta be hard to get laid if you're a plumber
That's why I'm gonna work extra hard for my man
And get him to the end so he can stop using his hand
Mario doesn't wanna get hit he'll shrink
Princess won't fuck a little kid, I think
So stay grown and attend to your own
And eventually the Princess will attend to your bone
(Speak hook 2X)
Save the Princess quick
Because she wants the dick
And if you let her free
You get the pussy
Bowser's trying to get head right now from the Princess
But if it's up to me that shit'll stop this instance
Cloud people throwin little spike animals
Green plants with teeth that attack like cannibals
I heard nobody yet runnin the Princess's oven
And Mario always says "Virgins, I love em'" (*from the movie "Kids"*)
I hate the Koopa Troopas so I'm gonna run up
And jump on the back of their shells till I get 1-up
I'm gonna keep playin and I'm never gonna quit
Cause some kid in school told me you could see the Princess tits
Benjamin Lopez
I wanna beat it before any of my friends do
So I can say I put pussy upon Mario's menu
At the end of each level I jump and get the flag
And say to myself "another castle in the bag"
I hope Bowser's ready cause he's in for a ride
And Mario's serious when it comes to homicide
The Princess is a freak even though she has class
Mario will take a plunger and put it in her ass
I hate the cannons that shoot at you constantly
And I hate platforms that fall out from below me
It's all worth while just to see Mario smile
Standin next to the Princess buck-naked profile
That's why it's my crusade to get Mario laid
Super Mario Brothers best game ever made
Brayden Anderson
¡Mierda!
Lincoln Butler
>Central America
>1986
Nicholas Sanders
>that 28 year old boomer with Vietnam flasbacks
Nathan Flores
Nicholas Robinson
YOU WON'T HEAR ME
BUT YOU'LL FEEL ME
WITHOUT WARNING
SOMETHING'S DAWNING
LISTEN
THEN WITHIN YOUR SENSES
YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE DEFENSELESS
Josiah Sanchez
> nuclear reactor goes kaboom
Soviet anons u ok?
Isaac Barnes
isn't it more like bong teenagers in 70's?
Jaxson Sanders
*throws banana over the east-german border*
Josiah Jones
Need
Another
Seven
Astronauts
Caleb Murphy
Hoping plenty of commies died in that blast.
Jace Edwards
hey guys im going to shoot up my school before this trend gets old
t.1986
Nicholas Sanders
"Hey Cassandra, I got Bon Jovi tix for next Saturday. Wanna come with?"
"Like, totally. Jon is so cute! I wanna have his babies."
Jacob Edwards
Average sight on Santiago
Hunter Fisher
I will beat you yet, Ultima IV. Hopefully by being smarter and not setting my save floppy on the stereo speakers next time.
Wyatt Rivera
I'm sure a rich rock star can get a lot better nookie than these mediocre guidos.
Brayden Martin
Thomas Carter
Electronic Farts thought we'd never crack the protection on Seven Cities of Gold. Oh ho ho did they underestimate the DragonPiratez.
Dial our BBS for the latest cracked games, utilities, and demos. And if anyone reprograms my Commodore's disk drive to self-destruct again, I will find you.
Wyatt Taylor
Wyatt Young
Charles Nelson
This movie was the worst trash I've ever seen. Stephen King owes me $7.
Cameron Jones
Crank up those Metallica tunes--they go great when you're dungeon hacking.
Adrian Gomez
why the fuck are burgers alright with their 2nd amendment rights getting fucked?
Lucas Sanchez
The loudmouth girl was kind of cute though. She has a very unique voice; should like do voices in a cartoon or something.
Mason Jackson
shit graphics
Elijah Watson
Nobody outside Japan would have known about Metroid yet in 86.
Jeremiah Allen
Liam Taylor
It was an earthquake. was he responsible? I knew it.
Levi Jenkins
Reagan & Nakasone
Jayden Diaz
Nakasone pointing out the launching path for nukes into North Korea and Russia (not China, they're our bff for the time being since they don't like Russia)
Jordan Carter
This game was apparently banned in some European cunts.
Levi Allen
Jonathan Hughes
Ha ha remember when Japan Inc would stomp American industry flat and they'd totes never collapse into a never-ending recession?
Kayden Edwards
Heard the new Slayer album yet? It's pretty badass.
Evan Mitchell
youtube.com
Aw man, I miss the old Kool and the Gang from the 70s. This new stuff of theirs is lame, brotha.
Jason Turner
Lincoln Ross
Wow, can't believe Hef is turning 60. Surprised he can still get it up.
Julian Ross
A 28 year old in 1986 was in grade school during the Vietnam War. Vietnam vets would have been mid-30s at minimum.
Jose Watson
>tfw no toilet paper
Joseph Diaz
Hang in there, Wojack. Not too much longer. Until then, want some bootleg Iron Maiden cassettes?
Anthony Miller
never heard of it before. looks cool
Connor Wilson
It's a simulation of a NATO-Warsaw Pact conflict, using entirely the PETSCII character set. You basically can't win as NATO because the Warsaw Pact are grossly overpowered--the devs explained that they went for accuracy over play balance, although the real point of the game was more political than anything, it was supposed to drive home the message of what would happen in a nuclear war. It was on the banned entertainment media list in Germany, but after the Wall fell, it was taken off.
Jason Campbell
It's a meme.
Evan Smith
Especially the bit about the never-ending maze.
Xavier Diaz
Van Halen hired that jackass Sammy Hagar!? What!? You are fucking kidding me. Fuck you, Eddie.
Isaiah Gutierrez
Best videogame ever created
Carson Young
"Wanna give up SDI?"
"Nope."
Noah Gomez
Fuck Gorby
Camden Murphy
Well, it's been 78 years now since the Cubs won the World Series, but at least they can still win it in Championship Baseball.
Elijah Jenkins
The Butthurt Belt likes him anyway.
Isaac Turner
Soviets were terrible, but it's unimaginable how many damage he caused his country and people
Camden Scott
All USSR leaders, except Lenin, were shit
Stalin- red terror, famine, crappy economic
Chrushev- PEOPLE DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR MEAT, BUT WE SENT PEOPLE IN SPESS, that failure corn company
Breznev- cover with oil money all problems,the began of deficite
Andropov,Chernenko- insignificant
Gorby tried fix shit, that 70-years old dumb as fuck communists have done, but not succeed because soviet system was a complete shit
Adam Murphy
>that failure corn company
The guy just couldn't process that the USSR didn't have the appropriate climate for corn, but commies believe they can bend nature to the Party's whim.
Levi Rogers
He failed all his attempts to fix the problems, but moreover, he only worsened all shit.
Khruschev with his democratic reforms and Brezhnev with "stabilnost" were OK.
Agree with you that the system required fundamental changes.
Evan Roberts
I more prefer word "zastoy" because it's really good description of these times. And Brezhnev oil-aimed economy killed soviet high-tech production, because pumping oil was more profitable and not so risky
Levi Clark
Zachary Cox
>And Brezhnev oil-aimed economy killed soviet high-tech production, because pumping oil was more profitable and not so risky
And now Putin has just gone and done it all over again.
Austin Johnson
Khrushev and Kosygin started all shit on soviet ecomonics. Bad quality, poor variety, backwardness - its all their fault.
Jackson Foster
Russian economy has a very stranhe cycles. Russian Empire before ww1 got a lot of money from vodka tax, then with full pockets of oil money USSR invaded in Afghanistan and in 2013 when Russian economy has biggest grown, they annexed Crimea.
Sometimes I really don't understand why russians can't just be calm and live like normal europeans
Ryan Reyes
strange*
Samuel Sanders
The real killer was Brezhnev allowing the military to eat up almost all state resources so people's standard of living suffered. By 1985, Soviet defense spending took a staggering 60% of total GDP. For comparison, US defense spending under Reagan reached 6% of total GDP and Congress would not approve any more in peacetime.
Moscow if anything welcomed the late 80s arms reduction treaties because the nuclear arsenal was getting too big and expensive to store, and even Putin said they had too damn many nukes at that time and needed to get rid of some. The Soviet arsenal reached a peak of 40,000 nukes by 1985 while the contemporary US figure was about 23,000. Also the US nuclear arsenal reached its peak size in 1961-63 with about 32,000 weapons and has never gotten close to that again.
Julian Perez
86 was the year the most legendary band in Finland produced it's most legendary track.
James Ortiz
>tfw no qt chilean refugee gf
Carson Collins
Good night sweet prince.
Julian Peterson
Communists and Chernobyl.
Nuff Said.
Bentley Rivera
Grayson Morales
He deserved it tho, no matter how eluding and interesting of an case his murder was.
Jackson Parker
>yfw paki bash
Luis Hernandez
Kekkonen
Dylan Baker
This. He is the biggest reason why we are becoming a minority at lightning speed.
Jaxson Bailey
Nobody really knows who shot him. Some random angry citizen, the Swedish police or secret service, and the CIA are all possibilities. Who knows? Whoever did it, the Swedish authorities certainly didn't put a whole lot of effort into finding the culprit.
Cameron Nelson
>and the CIA are all possibilities
Palme openly supported North Vietnam and even offered material assistance to them. The US government in the 70s-80s was insanely butthurt about the Vietnam War which led to stuff like supporting Pol Pot's insanity simply because he was anti-Vietnam and funding the Mujahadeen to get back at the Soviets for their support for Hanoi in the war. So I wouldn't put it past them to also want to get Olof Palme, and if that was the case, most likely the Swedish government had plenty of people willing to give them a helping hand.
Jason Reyes
Kayden Reed
Ah, the guy who started Sweden Yes.
Luke Allen
Wyatt Morales
Poor Red Sox. So close this year, but so far.
Camden Russell
>m-my big slavic nuclear empire
Jonathan Davis
>and now we end it by allowing you all to have (((democracy))) filled with (((degeneracy)))
Jose Bailey
Lucas Price
Tyler Russell
>The real killer was Brezhnev allowing the military to eat up almost all state resources so people's standard of living suffered
Khrushev and his coupe general band did that. Brezhnev just didn't changed anything.