>be me, 24 >wasted my life so far with a shity and low paying blue collar job >went to uni to study CS half a year ago (it´s free in my country) >struggle with math and can´t motivate myself because everything is depressing >struggle with girls (only had sex with one girl I really liked, but she lives in another country) >no good relationship with my father
All these things make me depressed anons, when I see how my friends get all the girls and how easy they handle uni as well and I can just try hard but barely anything works out. Thought about quitting uni, but at the moment I guess it´s long term still the best option. But not sure if I can finish it successfully.
Any serious tips for my situation, what I should do?
Exercise, meditate, read books, invest in crypto, don't brainwash yourself with either porn / television / smart phones
Charles Smith
Go on a solo adventure in a foreign country for at least a month. You'll return as a different human being. Trust me user, it isn't hard, you'll meet people all the time naturally and hostels are very social experiences. Take it easy and take a country with plenty of solo-backpackers (for example, Portugal, Vietnam, Peru, ...)
Jace Bennett
You are depressed, but you can try to do something about it. You say you want to keep trying at University even though it may not be the greatest success--I agree. You should try to find a way to exercise--walking, weightlifting, rowing--that helps you feel active. Too much sitting around makes people feel tired and sad. Try to get sunshine and fresh air.
If this doesn't help enough, consider going to therapy (if can afford) or a support group so you actually talk about the sadness and disappointment instead of letting it rot. Antidepressants could help at that stage too if you want them. Good luck.
you're not doing bad. perhaps you're just a brainlet, not destined for great things
Ryan Wright
Lift weights. Also 24 but virgin. Also blue collar but earn 37 an hour easy job. I got 5 girls from 16 to 21 wanting to blow me one but since ive been lifting (im decently fit but nothing hefty) i feel way over their league and thus would only do a ten out of ten.
David Wood
Yeah, I quit alcohol already a few weeks ago. The beginning was though. I got really confronted with my reality and sometimes started even crying suddenly when I was alone, because there wasn´t anything I could escape with. I will try out meditation as well user, already read about it. Trying to get my shit together. >invest in crypto I have some CPX, not much, but still
Charles Price
Congratulations on the alcohol! I kind of had the same issues as you but for me it was weed. I smoked daily for three years to run away from my problems. I stopped this year on christmas night and now I've been four months sober. In these four months a lot has changed. The beginning is hard, but it gets better. The absolute most important thing to realize is that the connections in your brain that go like "i need happiness, let's drink alcohol" needs to be REWIRED. Rewire that to "i need happiness, let's go for a walk". or meditate. or rock climb. etc. find out what triggers your bad habits and swap them with good habits! Another big thing for me was initially nofap and now noporn. for real, it does change you as a human being. fapping is okay, but just never watch porn anymore bro
Cameron Thomas
I was already 8 month in Australia, totally on my own, before I studied. I was really a different person afterwards. But it is already one year ago now, that I came back. And it seems like everything I learned is gone and "the change" of myself never happened. It´s hard to keep that menatlity alive and don´t get back in old patterns
Brayden Bell
Welcome to the CPX club, bro! I've heard that a good book to fight depression is "Power of now", I still haven't read it, but I plan to do so. Stay strong.
Christian Hernandez
You might not be cut out for CS if you aren’t smart enough user, you could switch to information systems and still find a comfy IT gig that’s not programming, though you still will have to take a few programming classes. If girls is your main concern go into sales cuz software devs are pussy repellent. Sales will also teach you how to be social and not an autist. If you aren’t lifting and eating healthy start now it will teach you discipline, read meditations by Marcus Aurelius and realize the world doesn’t owe you happiness it’s up to you to create a life worth being happy about. I realize you are depressed by you sound like a whiney bitch and that’s not attractive man the fuck up and come out swinging improving yourself.
Thanks. Definetly should do some workout I guess. I always enjoyed being physically active, but didn´t do anything the last half year. Also don´t wait to long to lose your virginity user. It could also be a mental block. That´s what it was for me. (Lost it with 23)
Really appreciate this user! I will do meditation and noporn and will start today. I guess implementing every few weeks one or two new good habbits, can change me a lot, over time. Thanks!
Samuel Richardson
The thing is, I am not too bad in programming. A lot of students failed there, I didn´t. Just math is what I hate and what is really hard for me. Otherwise: Thanks as well!
David Nelson
unironically do Starting Strenth
Robert Smith
You're welcome! Good luck! I'm going to give you another neurology trick. It is easier to learn a new habit when you link it to an old habit. For example meditating for 10 minutes after brushing your teeth, every morning. I also highly advice downloading the app "Headspace". Do that for 10 days and you'll already feel the effects of meditation. I did that as well to start off with it. Afterwards I deleted the app and meditated in silence because I didn't want to be reliant on the app.
Bentley Ortiz
you got some good advice. i know headspace too, good shit. only thing i dont understand, why noporn? i never considered doing it but since you talk truth, care to explain?
I've been in a similar place for long enough myself. I think the most important thing you could do is to stop listening to "I'm 20 and already a millionaire, why are you wasting your lives lmao" people. It's never too late to bring considerable improvement to your life.
The first few semesters at the uni will hit you the hardest, so you need to adjust. Do try to finish it, only consider quitting if you'd have a chance to trade it in for a MUCH better job. Nowadays a few years of experience on a reputable position goes much further than most degrees. I actually quit at my last year because I got a chance like that, but a few years later I ended up getting back to it only for the sake of finishing what I started. But above all, there's always time to get back to it. It's okay to feel overwhelmed but do try to prioritise in any given situation and you'll do fine.
Juan Hill
>headspace Just downloaded it. Thanks again.
Will look into it my CPX bro. I hope we both gonna make it! Wish I had more money left to invest in this gem. Thanks.
Robert Brooks
>stop listening to "I'm 20 and already a millionaire, why are you wasting your lives lmao" people When I think about it, I guess that´s a good point you bring up there. I very often compare myself to other people around me. Propaply one thing that makes me unhappy as well. Thanks for the other advise as well. Will keep that in mind. Good stuff here
Lucas Rivera
There is a lot of evidence around that looking at porn has a bad impact on your brain. Search for it, you'll find it pretty easily. Personally, I just tried it out and I feel like I have a lot more confidence now around girls. Also, pic related. I really liked femdom and cuck porn, now after abstinence of it for 4 months, I came to the conclusion that it's really messed up to watch that. To be clear, in my opinion, noporn is what everyone should do. nofap is what you should do when you are a real addict to fapping.
If you're bad at math, don't waste your time. You will put a super-human effort and you will still be less talented and capable than people who have a natural aptitude for math and who are in CS. You will never be able to match their performance.
You can train yourself, but there will always be some fucking Vitalik type cunt in your program, who can do a level of abstraction in his mind that you won't be capable of.
I'd say find a better fit for your talents.
t. math brainlet who deluded himself and chased math-heavy degree programs and always did poorly
This OP , I'd add get off Jow Forums and the internet in general, when you're depressed it makes it even worse. Become a stronger and more powerful version of yourself.
Blake Allen
I disagree. For me, Jow Forums is a place where I can be myself, a community where I feel at home.
Jow Forums are my frens
Jack Carter
Have another IP, cause I am on my Phone now
What did you choose instead? Don't wanna be a poorfag
Nolan Fisher
that was actually a concern for me lol. programmers are pussy repellent. most of them are aspergers.
Doesn't mean you are though, and there is room to be freelance and set up your own business, doesn't have to be that way. as an individual nothing stops you having social skills.
Hunter Robinson
sounds like somebody doesn't have a growth mindset!
Julian Lee
Biz is actually being nice. It's heart warming. We're all going to make it!
James Fisher
Here's life's biggest secrets. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life. If you set an intention to do something, the world will conspire to make it happen for you, but you have to follow the signs and act on things.
Samuel Johnson
I saw some research a while ago that showed programmers have among the lowest average testosterone levels of all careers.
Not sure if chicken or egg but interesting nonetheless.
Justin Barnes
I'm an older version of you, pretty much same boat except 31 so it's even worse.
One big problem I've had all my life is that I try to be independent, I don't accept help from others, nor try to network/connect with anyone, I keep to myself. Its gotten even worse over the last few years, I've become completely isolated, almost agoraphobic I guess you could say, I leave my apartment like twice a month just to stock up on groceries. Haven't seen my "best friends" in person for about 2 years.
In all likelihood I'm depressed, but I never feel "sad", just very apathetic, neutral, have a very "why does anything matter?" point of view, somewhat nihilistic I suppose.
As far as career/monetary success - it begins to matter even more as you get older. When I was your age I didn't really give a fuck about my status, how successful I was, I thought of myself as a kid still, would go out partying, had a care free attitude, didn't take anything seriously. Once I hit my late 20s and into my 30s though I started feeling a lot more self-conscious about having no career or success, and started to get the feeling that "time was running out."
I'm completely fucked up myself so take it with a grain of salt, but if I can give any advice it's to try and get educated and get a career while you're young. Finish that degree so that you at least have something you can look at to be proud of. Fitness also helps - I was nearly 300lbs a few years ago, started exercising and dieting (ketogenic) and am now down around 180lbs which made a huge improvement in my quality of life - I'm still not satisfied, but it's much better than it was before.
Jacob Perez
Thanks user! Also all the best to you, I'll give my best to get this shit done and get this fucking degree. I already feel like I am running out of time, which is pretty stupid actually, but my father always pushes me to "finally start a real job", even though I worked already, but didn't like it, and didn't earn shit. He is a old boomer, and started working with 16. So he doesn't get it, that education is more valueable in the long term.
John Barnes
My dad was exactly the same, an old boomer, he actually pushed me into getting my first job at a factory the week after I graduated highschool. It was either I got a job, or I was out on the street. Being a kid at the time with no life experience the idea of being out on the street was scary so I went for the job and that pretty much directed the rest of my life. One shitty job after another, couple bad relationships along the way where I tried playing house with low-quality women, couple pregnancy scares, and here I am 31 years old with fuck all for meaningful job/career experience and a multitude of health problems (breathing mostly) from the jobs I've worked.
I definitely blame myself for most of it though, I know there are plenty of people who come from much worse than I did and make more of themselves, but it would have been nice having academic parents who actually encouraged me to go to college and instilled the importance of career/success at a younger age. Lifes been difficult so far, I definitely envy the people who start life off on a golden pathway with loving, encouraging, intelligent parents to help guide them.
That's another thing: get a mentor if your dad/mom can't be mentors. I never met a single person I looked up to or felt I could learn anything from until I was in my late 20s. Be willing to learn from people who are wiser than you, and be willing to accept help. Life's much more difficult when you push everyone away.
Isaiah Lopez
Go to the gym to boost your T levels and claim your natural sense of confidence
It goes a long way
Matthew Phillips
Go to church. Don't waste your time with women unless you find a God-fearing woman who will support you in the way a woman should. Marry her. Keep going to school, or don't, but obviously you will make more money in a shorter period of time if you do. But that in itself is not the most important thing.
