/brit/

messaged the ex
we're meeting up this weekend
seems the years have been as grim for her as they were for me, misery loves company after all

instagram.com/nibsuss/?hl=en
the average finnish man

she's probably turned it into a functioning society IIH

Hell for him too

Thinking of moving all my shitposting to Linkedn

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feel so fucking melancholic

/brit/ better wish there isnt a hell because idol worship (like worshipping tommy robinson) is a deadly sin that'll send you straight to the fiery abyss for an eternity

>misery loves company after all

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What are your thoughts on the British education system?

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if there’s a business, Corbyn will be nationalising it

how in the fuck was 80s Britain a functioning society

want the 3 day week
can't be arsed for toiling for 5 days

Sharted just now

Rlly makes you think

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this but take out the r, the a and the n

unironically ruined by Thatcher

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gonna need a source for that

I unironically think this looks pretty badass. Would maybe wear it to a metal bar.

Howling

There is no British education system. Education is devolved in Scotland.

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The scran

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guess it took him 3 years to put on that makeup

youtube.com/watch?v=exBVHuKSYVw

wow

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>I unironically think this looks pretty badass. Would maybe wear it to a metal bar.

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Just finished college spent that summer taking pingers in fields and swigging frosty jacks in house parties didn’t have a clue what Jow Forums was and I loved life take me back pls

>badass
fucking cryptoyank

you can say that again lmaoooo

My dad's called Phil and hes on the pill
My mum's called Peg and shes on the keg

So, drunk, she comes to home alone
And rings her Phil up on the 'phone
Invites him 'round, for Phil, you see
He lives apart from family

When in came Phil, I'd not been home
Detention kept me, for my phone
(Do schools still ban the smart mobile?)
So wasn't home for quite a while

In fact, the sun was coming down
I'd bussed it so's to keep from trouble
(No clever duck would walk through town
In darkness, one can't see the puddles
And any man could, lurking, be
To offer lurid pleasantries
Or grab one's wrist, and, knife to neck
Administer unlawful sex)

Bus pass in hand, I turned the key
And closed the front door, quietly
For someone else -- who could it be?
Was in my house apart from me

What kind of figure did I strike?
Could I have truly 'grabbed his pike'?
And, breaking off his polearm's head
Could cut and thrust and leave him dead?

Did I come off a monstrous threat?
I weighed about a bead of sweat
And, stuffed with schoolbooks though I was
They bogged me down, and made me plod
He'd only guess a portly bod

The thunder of a hippo charging
Fast as Eeyore -- bare, letharging
No muscle could his foeman bring
Just fat (or, as it happened, 'cause
Of Triple Science, twenty books
Or so it felt, like earthsprung hooks
That heaved, and hauled, and had me down
I may've left cracks all over town)
It's for this reason, I assume
That Phil mistook me for a coon
A bumbling one, in search of food
Who wasn't taught that stealing's rude
And picked the wrong abode to rob
For Phil, you see, he was no slob

A master of six martial arts
Unparalleled in throwing darts
And ripping farts, and baking tarts
I knew I'd see his centre part
But with a smile, not this howl
Not such a grimace, rabid, foul
Not at my neck with Peggy's trowel

I let him think he had me, ere
I wove about, but Phillip grabbed me
"Oh, my God -- curse my hair trigger
I took my firstborn for a nigger!"

Then I went to my room & had a wank

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this

>College
>2014

Hello child

>I'll let you in on a little secret, Detweiller. Every adult you've ever known was a kid at sometime in his life. You think we don't remember summer vacation? Riding our bikes down the creek. Catching polliwogs in a jar. Camping out under the stars. Well you're wrong! Sometimes I sit there in my office, looking out at you kids in the playground and I think, "They don't know how good they got it. In a few years, they'll be grownups like me and all those good times will be memories for them, too". So go ahead. Have rough sex with Spinelli in the jungle gym. Put a whoopie-cushion in my chair. Put fake vomit on my carpet. Make fun of my "big, saggy butt". But don't ever say I don't care about summer vacation, 'cause those memories are the last part of childhood I got left.

how did recess get away with this?

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fuck off josie

any greasy creeps in the chatthread tonight?

fuck thatcher

Jesus, this is too real

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>FOOK MILK SNATCHER

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everything_Sucks!

>comedy-drama coming-of-age
>netflix
yikes

I know a metal bar where this wouldn't turn too many heads.

There's this one guy at that genuinely looks like a heroin addict, except he dresses as a cowboy in full black. He even carries around a replica revolver.

youtube.com/watch?v=_KhsQ3nn6Kw
summer 2014 lads i need a fucking time machine

thatcher in the bin
blair in the bin
clement attlee not in the bin
oasis in the bin

Monday:
Bench. Not a powerlifters bench. A nice, flat backed, feet on the floor bench.

1 set 12 reps (warm up)
1 set 10 reps (warm up)
3 work sets in the rep range (10-12 reps the first week, 5-8 the second week, 3-5 the third week, then restart the cycle)

Dips

3 work sets in the rep range

Standing shoulder press barbell
3 sets in the rep range.

Tuesday:

Squats (yes the one with the bar on your back.)
1 set 12 reps
1 set 12 reps

3 work sets

Deads

3 work sets

Wednesday:

1 set of pull downs 15 reps warm up
3 sets of pull ups in the work range. use an assisted machine untill you can get the reps on your own

Bent over row
3 sets in the work range

Thursday:

Dumbell incline press
3 sets

Dips
2 sets

DB seated shoulder press
2 sets

Friday:

DB stiff legged deads
3 sets

Bar front squat

2 sets

Seated row

3 sets

>metal bar
what kind?
iron?
steel?
copper?

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There is no British education system. Education is devolved in Scotland.

thought the toil interview went fairly well but they've rejected me in 2 (two) working days

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>Samsung galaxy S7(certified refurbished)
>Microsoft bluetooth mouse
>Large mousepad
>Sony bluetooth headphones

rate the latest 'zon order

had a nice ol' wank
now my mind is all blank

thatcher just done what she had to do

The Scots are indeed devolving

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choon

youtube.com/watch?v=vofwvHsy5bE

Watch this be fawned over while my lengthy classic epic continues to be ignored

honestly im way too thick
to keep up with this gimmick

sending in a cover letter and resume tonight, hopefully I get a call back

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Fucks sake!!! Dad pooed on the toilet floor AGAIN, old bastard needs to go the fucking doctors.

Personally decided to only wank once a week to maximize the testosterone flow.
But now a wankless week's passed and i just don't want to wank.

Imagine a socialist party that hated ethnics
Imagine it

This is too edgy for me lad, I'm out.

I can just imagine the smell and the awkwardness and they all pull quirky faces like this because they're mental and random

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just tingles here
youtube.com/watch?v=sKmkGLkEsYU

hope you intend to root that S7, 'sung bloatware is awful

Mad how much good rock music there was in the 2000s and then suddenly in the 2010s it has completely dried up.

wtf happened??

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hmm i wonder who that could be
oh i fucking know, its the nazis

>driving home from work in the 16 plate Audi A3
>got the windows down because it's absolutely baking (21'C) and this new Selena Gomez song is an absolute tune but he can't figure out why
>texts Greg James to put Chelsea Dagger on the Ten Minute Takeover because he hasn't heard it in literally years (2 and half weeks)
>looks up just in time to avoid smashing into the back of an old lady doing 50mph in a Volkswagen Up
>gives her evils as he revs past
>answers a hands-free call from Jimbo telling him a crate of Kronenbourg is £10 at Tesco and he should get on that
>asks Jezza if he wants a bottle of sambuca as well after last time
>bursts out laughing when Jizzrag tells him to fuck off, makes fake vomiting noises until JammyDodger hangs up
>gets overtaken by a 66 plate BMW, calls him a dirty paki under his breath
>tells Greg James to fuck off when he plays Chasing Cars for Vicky in Mildenhall over his choice

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Second line is a syllable too short.

hate myself haha

pity reply

6 years ago today was a transit of Venus

I remember it was cloudy here

Next one is in 2117 fml

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picture this
the year is 2007
you're on the 94 bus on your way into birmingham city centre
there is a lad on the back of the bus playing this choon through speakers echoing against the bus window via his sony erricson walkman
youtube.com/watch?v=n03x1EP6rY4

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god I fucking want to die

last time I tried to root my phone I bricked it

took it back to the store and they gave me a new one

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need a new phone
don't want to spend loads on one though

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ROARING

youtu.be/zsqoZ3oP4X0

wtf is this, what a shit split. Better off doing a PHUL or PPLx2 routine. If this is geared tlwards strength then kill yourself

>Chelsea Dagger

screaming

business idea: bring back arranged marriages

>that 28 year old boomer who thinks there was no good rock music in the 2010s

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life's never going to be that good again is it lads

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I would not be making my way into Birmingham at 11 as I intend to honour my life expectancy of 87

Thread is shit so I'm going to close the tab after I post this. Adios fuckwads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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and the hellfires are fueled by northern coal

chortled at this one lads

same
want to do a suicide pact?

yeah it is bizarre, not sure why he posts it

love the name changing in this one

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRDS

I'm pretty open minded, so I can enjoy myself.

But yeah, a lot of them are just rather mediocre creatures.

>can only feel the faint feeling of happiness when drunk
I feel like this is a concern and I should find a profession asap.