>be me
>be 27 year old ugly beta loser nofriends autist with no friends or social experiences since school, no female attention ever; have never been to a pub, club, or party; have no passions
Life is going by so fast and I waste it all. I waste a lot of time on the internet but if you read the below, you will know why. It's like I view everything as a chore that needs to be avoided through procrastination.
I got bored of a history book I was reading and gave up on it. I abhor the modern humanitard mentality. If you want to know what it is, imagine an upper middle class person who says (honestly or not) Pynchon is funny and who reads the New Yorker. He is a pseudointellectual that claims his philosophising and literary interests are due to a love of knowledge but he knows nothing about STEM or anything practical or anything not marketed by a major publishing company or university. That's as succinctly as I can put it. The humanitard mentality is the prism that 99 % of all media is refracted through.
I don't have productive interests. There are just things I feel like I need to do to stop the pseudointellectuals coming after me (going through SICP, reading boring old books). I feel guilty for everything I do, don't do, and how I do it. I feel like I have to be more efficient in how I do things.
I have a full time job that requires no work and about 10 minutes per day at the office (plus commute) but I am still unhappy. I am insanely lazy and when I worked from 9 to 5 I saw my life as over. It was soul crushing.
Being an ugly autist without a posh accent is a career death sentence. I don't know how I will ever bother putting effort in to things, especially when I know Chads and women get everything handed to them. I see decades of boring work ahead of me.
My only pleasures in life are junk food, coffee, and McDonalds. My main hobby, apart from wasting time on the internet, is walking around London and hoping my 20s spontaneously stop feeling wasted.
