>be american
>it starts raining
>"shiet man, I wuz just about to go out".
>"now I can't cuz I know they po po be lookin' for any excuse to shoot a brudda"
>waddle outside onto the porch and sit down
>grab out phone and start browsing the news™
>10 dead in school shooting
>25 dead in mass shooting
>twin toddlers killed by rampaging pitbull
>6 dead in office shooting
>kim kardashians’ new haircut
>"man, so much fake news today"
>new video shows Animal Assad personally gassing 6 million civilians while saying "I hate children"
>"ah finally some real news"
>as I’m relaxing my IKEA chair breaks and one of my beauty rolls flops out into the rain
>police are immediately notified through the chemicals in the water
>house gets drone striked
>as my sprit floats up to heaven I make sure to tip the drone
Be american
Be american
>forget to tip St.Peter
>locked out of the pearly gate
kek
I posted this one earlier today, but I'll post it again for Euro-bros.
>be american
>leave bucket outside by accident
>go into town to buy a few things
>it starts lightly drizzling rain
>ohshit.jpeg
>drive home as fast as possible
>it's too late, neighbours already called the cops
>"Sir, is this your property and/or vehicle?"
>"Am I being detained?"
>"Sir did you know as a free citizen of the United states of America it's illegal to collect rainwater?"
>"Am I being detained?"
>"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle."
>cop turns you around, handcuffs you and throws you on the ground causing a minor earthquake
>starts kicking you whilst reading offs your rights™
>involuntarily release a shart while this is going on
>cop sees and brown in your pants and mistakes it for a gun
>get shot by 10 different cops all at once
>with your final breath you thank them for their service
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hearty kek
What's up with the "Am I being detained?" Thing in America?
im dying
holy fuck i cant stop laughing
that's probably the procedure
if cop talks to you and you simply go away they will shot you because obstruction of justice, so you ask if you are being detained, if not you can go
some seriously cringe videos on yt if you search them
This isn’t fucking funny you smug yuropoor mudslimes, our police are brave heroes trying to keep us safe from gay muslim socialist atheist skywater
I've always assumed that they would challenge you to a game of advanced twister before shooting you
>be american
>get bullied in school
>next day come to school with plans to shoot it up
>open fire
>teachers, students and the janitor all pull out their safety shield 2000™ and self defense assault rifles
>fight through on your wheelchair equipped with titanium plating and light machine guns
>Blacks begin looting the corpses
>shoot them and call them stealing niggers
>get called to the principles office
>expelled for racism, God bless the 1st amendment
>as you leave he tips you for being understanding
>get home
>mom is getting raped by Tyrone and tyrese
>TV is taken by tyreka so you can't watch fox news
>open Jow Forums on your phone
>House is drone striked
>forgot to pay your isp bill, and you using your Internet violated the NAP
Someone explain this rain thing to me
>no mention of medical bills
>no mention of clapping
>no mention of obesity
>no mention of Jewish puppetry
5/10, shows potential but needs improvement
it’s an environmental public health law that prevents people from collecting and drinking rain water because in case you didn’t know (this is literally highschool level environmental science here) when it rains, the pollution in the air falls with the rain, and in order to prevent a major health crisis of drinking water full of deadly pollutants, it’s made illegal to collect rainwater. Really it’s as illegal as getting a flu shot.
*not getting a flue shot
>be american
>get a 5.56mm flu shot
OHNONONO
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA
>it's illegal to refuse a flu shot
considering flu shots have eradicated diseases like mumps, measles, polio, etc. I wouldn’t detest to being vaccinated.
Well yea, it’s a public health concern. Unless you want to spend your entire life in the Iron Lung, you should be vaccinated.
>flu = polio
wew
love these threads
retard
>Be American
>Clap to Jewish master while watching Fox News™
>Get a heart attack due to the efforts needed to move his arms above his incredibly large body
>Ambulance come, the bill is already above $2 millions
>Try to pull a dozens credit cards out of his wallet
>Get shot by the doctor who though he was about to reach for a gun.
I never equated the flu for polio, i used polio as an example of how vaccines can eradicate disease. stop grasping for straws.
i wouldn’t take about masters when you’re a noncountry tax haven lad