/ausnz/

Chasing the husband edition

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FIRST FOR BREAKING THE CONDITIONING IMPOSED ON US BY (((THEM)))

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night cuties

REEEE
MY FLATMATE TOUCHED MY BUTT WITHOUT ASKING
Death to alll

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Would I get to touch your butt?

I like this picture, do you have any more like this?

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>you'll never find out
LIECHTY TELL ME ABOUT THE GERMAN
I'll behave if you do

yeah i do

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why are you asking to touch another mans butt

He has stopped repressing his homosexual urges it seems

It's the female poster which I am asking...

I would never want to feel another mans ass. Only female ones, like that of the female posters.

>>It's the female poster which I am asking..
just like it was last time right?

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I can't help that nerds here like to pretend to be female.

I am the victim of a serious crime.

Will not be taking a Prozac in the morning.

>I am the victim of a serious crime.
Crime?
I wish I had these advances made to me

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Also I might go for a walk somewhere. I don't know where though just to kill some hours.

Good, those are only hurting your sober state of mind.
What? Braindamaged nerds pretending to be female and posting feminine legs to pleasure me and trick me into confessing attraction to said legs?

>What? Braindamaged nerds pretending to be female and posting feminine legs to pleasure me and trick me into confessing attraction to said legs?
sounds like a reward not a crime 2bh

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What happens in this board?

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2 slices of bread, 3 egg omelette and 2 baked potatos, rate my breakfast

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anime and gay posting
3/8

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Send help the wife is being a pervert!

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that's a nice pair of tits

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A girl will never pinch my butt.

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*pinches your butt*

I've actually turned into a girl for 30 seconds exactly desu so don't worry.

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Yea thats not possible. Either you are a man or a female, theres no switching.

I might buy a mountain bike.

THE JEWS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR TGE COALSTUFF IN NZ

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I.. I was just kidding you hentai.

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Calm down Manila desu;stop getting so flustered!

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Y-you're right I'm just overreacting it was just a harmless pinch.

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*steam shoots out of ears*

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Coalstuff?

痴漢

it starts with a harmless pinch and before you know it you're getting fucked in the ass, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

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what if he likes that?

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it won't come to that

I don't like it! Not one bit!

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Bum pinching is how it starts ae?

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wouldn't you know??

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Wha.. what is that thing it's big.

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sure you dont like it just like the swede doesnt like men

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But the swede does like men

exactly

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O
I get it

no I wouldn't, I am pure
it should be okay if it's a woman, i think atleast... this might be subtle conditioning by (((them))) though, so I must deny it

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You'll find out after a girl pinches your butt

Sounds pretty gay senpai desu

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Stop with the lewds bitte!

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only a little gay desu

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Oh there could be some form of conditioning involved alright

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THE GERMAN IS A PERVERT AND IT WAS THE JEWS

>only a little gay
THATS ALREADY TOO MUCH

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if you feel lewd just look at this man

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its not enough if anything

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So it's the normal German then? I need to know this

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always remember lads

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>mfw at 4

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Why are lolis so perfect?

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fixed

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>josuke
>not best joestar
Bad chart

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t.futafetish

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Yep, a best Joestar if you're like 12

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WHY IS THIS GENERAL SO FUCKING GAY
STOP RUINING MY COUNTRIES REPUTATION

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JOIN THE FIGHT AGAINST FAGGOTRY, WE MUST BREAK THE STRANGLEHOLD PLACED ON THE THREAD BY (((THEM)))

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no
japans gift to the world
what reputation, for being shitposters, drunks, lunatics and shitty politicians?

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It's TOO LATE FOR THAT THERE'S NO STOPPING IT.

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We might be able to stop this if you let go of your perversions

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AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Shall not respond to tatars that bulli

do what any good guy would do when his general is being ruined
post long pastas ever min you can

t.homo_in_denial

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>what reputation, for being shitposters, drunks, lunatics and shitty politicians?
Now that you mention it, I really would like to know what the average Jap thinks of 'straya.

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yes what is it?

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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I.. I can't.

Hush sweet child, resistance is futile.

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I fell asleep far too early tonight.
I had a small sleep... I'll be up all night now.

I also wanted some attention.
Thats a big one!
Although a bit too many H's and not enough A's for my taste.

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RESISTANCE IS NOT FUTILE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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You fell asleep when I was going to have some time senstive gossip with you!
I was very disappointed

While the winter of '41 did undeniably have an impact on the German Army and its performance, it's heavily over-exaggerated and ignores many of the other crucial effects that impacted the German Army. The effects commonly attributed to winter and commonly believed to have beaten Germany are actually much more complex. Around a million German soldiers perished during the winter, however, Germany managed to replace every single one of those losses. As a matter of fact, the German army grew in size throughout the entire war, peaking in 1943. The casualties sustained during the winter were replaceable. The other effect commonly attributed to winter was that it ground the German advance to a halt, giving the Red Army time to recover. What this ignores is the logistical situation of the German Army in November. German logistics could only effectively keep up with the Army for around 300 km. But by November, the Germans were well over 800 km into Russia. This meant that the German frontline troops were so starved of supplies that they couldn't advance, even if it had been in the middle of summer. Another factor about this was the German fuel crisis. Germany had been running a massive oil deficit since the war started in '39, and had only been able to survive by eating up her oil reserves. By the estimations of Georg Thomas, the head of the War Economy and Armaments Office, Germany only had enough fuel to be able to sustain 2 months of full scale offensive operations against the USSR The war started on the 22nd of June, so, the fuel supplies would last until late September-Early October. Germany had to capture the Caucasian oil fields before that deadline, or else their oil reserves would be depleted, and the army would be ground to an halt. So, around the same time that winter started coming, Germany ran out of fuel. This, combined with the overstretched logistics, is the actual reason why the German advance ran out of steam in October-November, not the winter.

>You fell asleep when I was going to have some time senstive gossip with you!
Noooooo...
What was it related too?

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For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

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I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror. Damn my hair – it just won’t behave,

and damn Katherine Kavanagh for being ill and subjecting me to this ordeal. I should be
studying for my final exams, which are next week, yet here I am trying to brush my hair
into submission. I must not sleep with it wet.
I must not sleep with it wet.
Reciting this
mantra several times, I attempt, once more, to bring it under control with the brush. I roll
my eyes in exasperation and gaze at the pale, brown-haired girl with blue eyes too big for
her face staring back at me,
and give up. My only option is to restrain my wayward hair in
a ponytail and hope that I look semi presentable.
Kate is my roommate, and she has chosen today of all days to succumb to the flu.

Therefore, she cannot attend the interview she’d arranged to do, with some mega-industri-
alist tycoon I’ve never heard of, for the student newspaper. So I have been volunteered. I

have final exams to cram for, one essay to finish, and I’m supposed to be working this af-
ternoon, but no – today

I have to drive a hundred and sixty-five miles to downtown Seattle

in order to meet the enigmatic CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. As an exceptional
entrepreneur and major benefactor of our University, his time is extraordinarily precious
– much more precious than mine – but he has granted Kate an interview. A real coup, she
tells me.

Damn her extra-curricular activities.
Kate is huddled on the couch in the living room.

lads, what do you do if the bf is too tight?
Makes me life difficult tbqh

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BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPsnnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

“Ana, I’m sorry.

It took me nine months to get this interview. It will take another
six to reschedule, and we’ll both have graduated by then. As the editor, I can’t blow this
off.

Please,” Kate begs me in her rasping, sore throat voice. How does she do it? Even
ill she looks gamine and gorgeous, strawberry blonde hair in place and green eyes bright,
although now red-rimmed and runny. I ignore my pang of unwelcome sympathy.


“Of course I’ll go Kate. You should get back to bed. Would you like some Nyquil or
Tylenol?”
“Nyquil, please. Here are the questions and my mini-disc recorder.

The roads are clear as I set off from Vancouver, WA toward Portland and the I-5. It’s early,
and I don’t have to be in Seattle until two this afternoon. Fortunately, Kate’s lent me her
sporty Mercedes CLK. I’m not sure Wanda, my old VW Beetle, would make the journey in
time. Oh, the Merc is a fun drive, and the miles slip away as I floor the pedal to the metal.

My destination is the headquarters of Mr. Grey’s global enterprise. It’s a huge twenty-
story office building, all curved glass and steel, an architect’s utilitarian fantasy, with Grey

House written discreetly in steel over the glass front doors. It’s a quarter to two when I

arrive, greatly relieved that I’m not late as I walk into the enormous – and frankly intimi-
dating – glass, steel, and white sandstone lobby.
Just press record
here. Make notes, I’ll transcribe it all.”
“I know nothing about him,” I murmur, trying and failing to suppress my rising panic.
“The questions will see you through. Go. It’s a long drive.

I don’t want you to be late.”
“Okay, I’m going. Get back to bed. I made you some soup to heat up later.” I stare at
her fondly. Only for you, Kate, would I do this.
“I will. Good luck. And thanks Ana – as usual, you’re my lifesaver.”
Gathering my satchel, I smile wryly at her, then head out the door to the car.

GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHERS I AM NEW. HOLDS UP BOLTER MY NAME IS SERGEANT ARGUS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BATTLE BROTHER. AS YOU CAN SEE I AM VERY LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. THAT IS WHY I HAVE COME HERE, TO MEET OTHER BATTLE BROTHERS WHO ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR LIKE MYSELF. I AM 127 YEARS OF AGE ( PRAISE THE EMPEROR) I LIKE TO PURGE HERETICS AND XENO SCUM WITH MY BATTLE BROTHERS ( I LOVE MY BATTLE BROTHERS, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT THE DEAL WITH IT) IT IS OUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. ALL MY BATTLE BROTHERS ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR TOO OF COURSE, BUT I WANT TO MEET MORE LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR. LIKE THE EMPEROR ONCE SAID, THE MORE THE MERRIER. I HOPE TO BOND WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR SO JOIN ME IN PRAISE OF THE EMPEROR. FAREWELL.

PRAISE THE EMPEROR

BATTLE BROTHER

Só eu e o meu paizinho a brincar eu fiquei com fome então comecei a fazer beicinho Ele perguntou se eu queria uma coisa deliciosa e eu perguntei o que era e ele disse que eram meitinhas! Sim! Sim! Eu bebo-as! Eu sorvo-as! Engulo-as todas O meu paizinho fica contente e é tudo o que eu quero... Mais de força! Mais de força! 1 meitinha, 2 meitinhas, 3 meitinhas, 4 Eu sou a princesa do meu pai mas também sou uma putinha! Ele deixa-me molhadinha! Ele deixa-me contente! Ele faz com que eu me sinta uma pequenina indecente!~ O-O que?!

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

remember to use lots of spaces to take up space lad. and best of luck, can't be arsed to spam for your general for long

Was zum Teufel hast du grade über mich gesagt, du kleine Schlampe? Du solltest wissen, dass ich meine Ausbildung beim GSG9 als Jahrgangsbester abgeschlossen habe, in mehrere Kommandounternehmen gegen Al-Kaida involviert war und über 300 bestätigte Tötungen habe. Ich bin in Gorillakriegsführung ausgebildet und der beste Scharfschütze im deutschen Bundesheer. Du bist für mich nichts als ein weiteres Ziel. Ich werde dich mit einer nie zuvor gesehenen Präzision vom Antliz dieser Welt tilgen, merk dir meine verdammten Worte. Du denkst du könntest hier im Internet so eine Scheiße über mich erzählen und damit durchkommen? Denk lieber nochmal darüber nach, du Wichser. Während wir uns hier unterhalten, habe ich schon mein geheimes Netzwerk aus Spionen kontaktiert und deine IP-Adresse wird grade rückverfolgt, also mach dich besser auf den Sturm gefasst, du Made. Der Sturm, der das erbärmliche kleine Ding, das du als dein "Leben" bezeichnest, auslöschen wird. Du bist verdammt nochmal tot, Junge. Ich könnte jederzeit überall sein, und dich auf über siebenhundert verschiedene Arten töten, nur mit meinen bloßen Händen. Aber ich bin nicht nur im unbewaffneten Kampf ausgebildet, ich habe auch Zugriff auf das Waffenarsenal der Bundeswehr und ich werde es aufs Vollste ausschöpfen, um deinen elendigen Arsch von diesem Kontinent zu blasen, du kleiner Scheißkerl. Wenn du nur gewusst hättest, was für eine apokalyptische Rache dein kleiner "witziger" Kommentar provoziert hat, hättest du vermutlich dein verdammtes Maul gehalten. Aber nein, das hast du nicht hinbekommen, das wolltest du nicht, und jetzt wirst du dafür bezahlen, du verdammter Idiot. Du wirst in meinem Hass ertrinken. Du bist tot, Junge.

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.

Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."

I think the only reason anyone bonds over field trips is because everyone collectively hates it. Everyone has their own story of how crazy the trip is but this one is… special. First of all we had to get up so early! I had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning. Have you ever seen 90 teenagers up at 5 in the morning? It's a magical sight. The buses that take us are, like, 20 minutes late, but they show up. I sit down a good thing is it's a padded seat, so that means it's gonna be easy for me to pass out. But the great thing is (since this is a story of the best field trip I've ever been) on two girls in the back start singing. S I N G N I N G! So at this point I'm hungry and I don't really recall having much for breakfast, but I did have grapes. I threw them at the girls that were singing. I regret nothing. To pass time on the drive, a bunch of people started playing those BS school games like “what are the odds”, “truth or dare”. The things that people can do because of the dares in those games… like, a not particularly feminine guy at all dyed his hair pink. No, I didn't enroll in these games, not because I didn't like them, it's just… I was so tired in the back and, kind of suffering really. After about a 2 and a half hour drive of going in the middle of the desert, we split into four groups, and we're the first one to go into this place. Now I'm not gonna go into specifics of location or anything. Put it simply, the cave and the rocks that we were gonna see or whatever was protected by the government, so we had to get lectured by this lieutenant guy before we got in. You know that scene from Full Metal Jacket where the guys like “LEMME SEE YOUR WARFACE!” that's the best way I can sum him up.

thanks lad

OwO wats dat, Anyon-san? UwU (^∇^)it’s so tiny and wiggwy wiggwes taiw (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`) C-can I... touwch it? 0//////0 stwokes penyis with paw hehe it’s so stwicky Anyon-kun UwU W-why’s it gwowing?? (>人_

What he said was the most paralyzingly terrifying speech that I have ever heard. Very sternly: “If you have the devil's lettuce, we can arrest you under federal law! We have one of the deadliest snakes in the world in this base! The anti-venom is twenty thousand dollars a vial! Do not go to the grey cars in the fields. They are bomb targets!” He gets real quiet. “Do you know what pink mist is?” He says to the quietest person in our group. “It’s what's left of you after you step on a landmine. Anyways, have fun!" We drive for another hour and a half into this base we go to this cave, or, something. I'll put some pictures up. Actual walk was fine, but it was so hot, and people were so terrified by what that lieutenant said. It really just ruined it. We found out later that after that whole thing, the teachers told him to tone it down for the next group and by the looks of it, he really didn’t. Some dude even purposely didn't eat or drink anything and fainted just so he wouldn't have to participate on the trip. After a few hours of walking around seeing some things, we drive for a long time back to camp. Everyone's there before us and they're running around. They're having a great time they're looking at all this stuff, and I'm just about to join them and then everyone has to listen to this guy talk about rocks. This place was the most amazing desert landscape that I've ever seen and I wanted to explore it so much because it was just cooling down, but nope! We had to listen to this guy tell us there were “so many kinds of rocks”. We had dinner and that kind of calmed us down but then, just as we thought it couldn't get any worse, the chaperones introduced a brand new activity called (and I kid you not,) Cosmic Dates. The premise of cosmic dates is to pick two names out of a jar and they go on a hopefully platonic date as they walk around and ask icebreakers that are assigned to them.

It's so funny cuz you can feel the socialization being shoved into our face when it's already there and they don't need to do that. I get paired up with this girl I know and we had similar interests, so it was pretty easy. We walked around. If I remember correctly, there was like a path we had to walk around. It was so systematic and creepy. After that it was getting dark and it was time for us to go to bed. So since we were camping we had tents, and the tents could fit four people but on the box they actually kind of fit like three and a haf. Putting four high school kids in a tent is never a good idea. EVER. It was so stuffy in that thing I could barely breathe, but there was no way I was opening that zipper door just so that snake of nightmares or whatever could bite me. Some people got up and walked around up until around 3:00 a.m. and apparently they got in a lot of trouble for something that if they didn't do they'd probably pass out from heatstroke. So morning rolls around and I want you guys to ask yourself: if you were to wake up a bunch of high schoolers in a place they don't know in a place they don't like how would you do it? Would you sing a song with a guitar and go around telling everyone to wake up passive-aggressively? Why of course you would! And that's exactly what the guy did. The lyrics were like “Oh you gotta get up! You gotta get up! You gotta get up in the morning time!” He went around and kept on doing that! Just going like “You gotta get up! You gotta get up!” People wanted to slaughter this dude.

one of you fucks reply to me RIGHT NOW
I need a (You)!

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