/brit/

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Alri

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reckon, if I'm going to look at this critically, that my method of wanking when I was 14: putting 10 pairs of socks on my cock then tapping it until the heat made me cum; hurt the development of my penis

Most annoying twat I've ever seen on tv

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the spic says what he says because one night i was extremely wasted/high and when i went to fuck the anorexic, opiate addicted prostitute that lived in his home at the time I couldn't get me cock to work. Happens to the best of us, unfortunately.
In hindsight it's actually a good thing I did not fuck her. To penetrate someone that mong'd out on fentanyl must surely constitute rape.
Real nice home to raise a child, innit?

what sort of rich fuck just has 10 pairs of socks to waste on a wank

Ahahahahahahahahahhahaha fucking state

Thanks

happy birthday lad

>Most annoying twat I've ever seen on tv

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twitter.com/funkdvoid/status/1010799262622502912

I can't grow long hair

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twitter.com/boabilicious/status/1010962059457105921?s=19
Screaming

youtube.com/watch?v=Ad11iXcGeBs

Spinelli's mum had some great knockers, I bet when she turned 16 and started calling herself Ashley to get boys she had a killer body

I like girls with big bums and long hair

>peer pressure during youth
>and subsequent addiction
Hmmm...

Fortnite with the lads

Thanks

Not happy about being 27

>chowin on cunts
what meant

>all the wagies complaining about toil

It's weird being a NEET, today is just another day like every other day, I have no feelings regarding tomorrow morning

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youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

if you didn't stand outside your sixth form smoking with all the cool kidd then you're a virgin (like me)

>today is just another day like every other day
ah no, today is sunday so morrisons closed at 4pm

lovely saturday evening

glad there's a whole nother day of freedom left

LMFAOOOOO

youtu.be/joAKXhH5_W8

repostan
you do realise Germany had to trade in gold because they wouldn't allow the Reichsmark to float normally? They haemorrhaged gold to the point that without occupying half of Europe as they did they were right up shit creek

I played cards in the common room

>I'll let you in on a little secret, Detweiller. Every adult you've ever known was a kid at sometime in his life. You think we don't remember summer vacation? Riding our bikes down the creek. Catching polliwogs in a jar. Camping out under the stars. Well you're wrong! Sometimes I sit there in my office, looking out at you kids in the playground and I think, "They don't know how good they got it. In a few years, they'll be grownups like me and all those good times will be memories for them, too". So go ahead. Have rough sex with Spinelli in the jungle gym. Put a whoopie-cushion in my chair. Put fake vomit on my carpet. Make fun of my "big, saggy butt". But don't ever say I don't care about summer vacation, 'cause those memories are the last part of childhood I got left.

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At toil

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>wah why aren't the black players in all the headlines
Maybe because he fucking scored 5/8 goals in an 11 man team and 2 of the remaining 3 came from a white defender

What a shit opinion

nice pants what are they

Chiles is pretty chill though

aren't you fucking observant

hey guys get a load of fucking einstein over here

*smacks the back of your head*

its sunday you donut

Choon
youtu.be/gQRJ9H2qD5Q

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hello target employee

Why do you repost this with the not even subtle edit of having rough sex and think it's funny?

I literally don't get it

Oh w're not gonna take it
No we aint gonna take it
Oh were not gonna take it anymore

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thought i'd post a bit of canned heat for a change
youtube.com/watch?v=p0PjECSyJ7w
bit of fun innit

N-n-no, there must be some sort of mistake? oh no

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foy

I SMELT YOUR SCENT ON THE SEATBELT

AND I KEPT MY SHORTCUTS TO MYSELF

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have about £31,000 in the old 'avings account

dunno, makes me laugh dunnit

will loosing weight make my weak chin look better

why not x

reddit spacing nonce trying to defend his ridiculous views with humour

exactly, plus he's the captain. When the England Rugby team were doing well the media as a whole was jizzing itself over Itoje and the Vunipolas

youtube.com/watch?v=MmyDosjjP5U

how much are you after?

just my hair texture. it piles up like a mushroom, like justin bieber

:(

Tory twat

Is there a word for things like this? Mentioning random factoids and hoping it makes sense

The British were trading in all silver. The USA owned 80% of the world's gold, etc etc.

I'm not really sure what point youre trying to make...all I'm saying is that capitalism pretty much failed in the 1930s and the war saved it

not that i expect someone who can only drink 5 beers before falling asleep to understand whiskey dick

MARY JANE
Marijuana
Sticky Icky
Indo
Kush
Hashish
WEED
Cannabis
Sinsemillia
Ganja
Herb
Hydro
Bomb ass shizz
The green faerie
Spliffy wiffy
Joints
Blunts
Fat bowls
Hits from the bong
Tetrahydrocanabinol
Vitamin T
The flower of peace

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hoping i dont wake up

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bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06blv0z

*headbutts your best player*
Heh

TOIL TOIL WHEREVER YOU MAY BE
FOR I AM THE BERG OF THE TOIL SAID HE
AND I'LL MAKE YOU TOIL WHEREVER YOU MAY BE
AND I'LL MAKE YOU TOIL ON THE MORROW SAID HE!

if you have hayfever you need to be culled as you're genetically defective

innit

yeah, that's why Germany only trading in gold was a recipe for disaster. By 1939 they didn't fucking have any left and literally needed to start a world war to not collapse. If you think that's reasonable economics you're a fucking idiot.
>all I'm saying is that capitalism pretty much failed in the 1930s and the war saved it
Not at all you brainlet. Most of the developed world was well on the road to recovery by 1939

was sat with a black drug dealer who looked like Lil yachty

he was showing me all the 'flavours' and such. cool guy

haven't seen this one before

what's a migraine?

same but £800

Reading the article is actually quite funny. They basically suggest Kane went through the same insults as Sterling until he scored the winning goal in the Tunisia game and then suddenly everyone loves him. Instead of connecting the dots they suggest this is because he's white.

How many shoes does your licence cover?

Edit: I’m going to add more to this. Once a girl is into you you should know some things. Your first kiss will probably be awkward. That’s ok. Try to take her lead and don’t do the following: don’t shove your tongue down her throat, dont touch teeth to teeth and don’t slobber all over her face.

Say things progress beyond this. Clothes come off etc. I think your go to move should be eating girls out. Be the champion of eating pussy and it’ll take a lot of pressure off you to perform and women will love you for it.

You can find guides to this online but the key is to tease her with some light kisses and licks and then FIND HER CLIT. Once you do play with it a bit in different ways until she responds well to one. When you find that move keep doing it at the same pace and the same pressure and DO NOT STOP. You’ll be a fucking legend if you follow hat advice

>watching a movie
>feel hyped
>Decide to open Wikipedia and read what happens next
>Lose interest
>Turn of TV
>Open Brit
>Post about it

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really bad headache

>The green faerie
the green fairy is absinthe you halfwit

does crystal meth exist in the uk

>By 1939 they didn't fucking have any left and literally needed to start a world war to not collapse.
I'm pretty sure that's not why they started it

Here, what does this sound like:
By 1939, the British had to start a world war because the Great Depression was so bad

not really

might wank over the paramore girl

It's me again, the guy who accidentally fell into a relationship with a fat bird. I need some help boys, how could I tell her to lose weight.

Come gather round wageys,
It's high time ye learnd,
Bout a hero named Brendan
And a devil named 'berg

We'll toil till we drop,
and post Brendan Fraser
Inb4 Toilberg reports us to HR

So we'll toil day and night,
in the big office tower,
they pay our wage,
6.50 an hour

If you're gay

Detective

Mix it with milk and it becomes legal here

shame
i had long hair for a few years
really liked it

not common
we have ket instead

>By 1939, the British had to start a world war because the Great Depression was so bad
1. Britain wasn't a hyper-aggressive Nazi nation engaged in a land grab
2. Britain's pre-war economy, while not great, was far more stable than the German one
I don't see how you can think that's a reasonable equivalence at all. The Depression was over by 1939 for starters

Tyler the Creator. Anyone remember him?

britain cries out for a socialist state ruled by the vanguard of the british proletariat, the cpgb-ml
youtube.com/watch?v=ggdIo3p7OmI

Wanked so much today