You have 10 seconds to act as British as possible

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I'm a neurotic and caustic asshole with a chip on their shoulder trying to disguise it all with half-hearted insults framed as "banter".

THE ABSOLUTE LEDGE

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*pirates*

Whoy, that was a right bloody good game o' football, aiy, love?

OI BRUV ARE YEW IRISH? FUCK YEW. MUSLIMS AND AFRICANS WELCOM

go on lads get it all out

t. Sean O'Neil

Also I jerk off to old maps and photos of warships from the 1800s when my cunt was relevant.

'Ate Pakiz
'Ate fwrongers
'Ate lefdists
Love pints
Love ingerland
Love slagz

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t. neurotic and caustic asshole with a chip on their shoulder

I feel right knackered!
fancy a spot of tea old boy?
well I say, this milk tastes absolutely foul
oh indubitably, it did come from my bollocks after all
cor blimey!

Fancy a shag, love?

Queues passive aggressively

Also fuck this cunt for enslaving my ancestors for hundreds of years.

This, can you imagine when they enslaved us our capital was fucking London??

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PLASTIC

I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving me house

ALLAHU ACKBAR!!
*stab people in subway
*drink tea
*detonate myself

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YEAH SHILL 'EM!

Provide details of your ethnic heritage during this period.

>come home to your council flat after paying the mandatory TV license fee
>think to yourself "Oiy, I can't wait for the footy match this evenin'. Arsenal is going to _paste_ those Scouser cunts."
>inbred old German bag of bones rides by in a carriage surrounded by cosplayers in red suits with bear hats
>kneel per legal requirement
>go into council flat
>find it's been broken into and your wife and daughter are being raped by a bunch of Pakis and niggers
>can't own a gun to protect yourself
>grab butter knife from the countertop
>poke Paki with knife and tell him to quit it
>cops arrive, arrest you, and charge you with racism

أنا أحب إنكلترا

oi bruv wheres your bloomin ham and cheese loicence

عفوا. هل تستطيع أن تعطيني توجيهات إلى مكتب الرفاه؟

oi in Bristol lads the Tesco mates they sold a cheesy weesy flippy zippy bun of ham and cakes for the queen

*makes an absolutely abominable post*
*anybody who points this out is obviously just jealous of my banter skills*

kek

Please don't arrest me for tweeting "gay bad lol"

Oh, it’s 5 o’clock, I need my cup of tea

CAM ON INGRLAND SCOAR SOM FOOKIN GOALS!!

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*shits the queen*

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seething

>London is a muslim shithole
>Love it