/brit/ + /birt/

grandfather
youtube.com/watch?v=-8Gdf39zbcY

seriously all women should be taught how to give good handjobs and to give them to their partner at any given time
don't need sex but I need sexual attention nearly constantly

I literally, and unironically, yet also accidentally, started the /birt/ gimmick

based cokelord

this
world NEEDS to make sense for me to continue doing anything responsible

>so Elon called him a pedo, twice
VERY bizarre, can't trust them saffers, bunch of cunts all.

why do black people always get really angry on the rare occasion a black man is killed by someone white (usually by the police for being a criminal), but they never get angry when black people kill each other or when white people are killed by blacks? both of which happen far more often.

genuinely makes me engage brain function for the purpose of pondering

>coffee edition
nice

only got 1 (one) Starbucks® house blend Nespresso™ pod left (bought a 10-pack for only £2 in tesco, marked down)

shall be having it with my breakfast tomorrow to accompany my 3 tesco's-own 'Wheat Bricks' knock-off weetabix and one slice of buttered farmhouse bread (toasted)

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do it yourself lazy bastard

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have never enjoyed a handjob
i have literally scores of hours of practice handling my dick, no way is some rank amateur going to do any better than that

When Thailad's not in the thread all the other posters should be asking "where's Thailad?"

merely doing maths ironically at the moment
will upgrade to doing maths unironically tonight and tomorrow morning before the exam

>thumbnail

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Want to play a game lads while I wait for the washing machine to be done. Needs to be something simple and cheap. Like Gwent or something.

Any ideas?

it's nice if the girl has the correct attitude about it and can dirty talk

this but blowjobs

easier to blame outside forces for your own failings as a society (see: brexit)

FUCK im sorry

3 times in all if you count the '(sus)' tweet.

cataclysm dark days ahead

Feel like a 14 year old . im too immature

lil pump fly private jet

ay o w*iteboi

Gwent?

Hello
Im from /birt/

twitter is such a fascinating platform 2bh. amazing the things that people you assume should know better will actually post

It's like I tell my gf: a handjob is a man's job. A blowjob is yo job.

what are you studying in maths rn

6 hours of sleep lads
wahey

Going to walk around central london tomorrow.

Elon is being manipulated

coke lad here a girl i've known for years who went out with my mate a while ago i was getting off with in a club last night suddenly switched on me and ran off. than asked one of my mates to "protect her from me". there was an incredibly awkward conversation but several people said they saw her all over me and she's making it up. she left very quickly. turned out later she is bipolar or something. never going near that one again

Why isn't brexit cancelled yet
It's clearly not going to work

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im a jacked gay scouser with a stem phd and yes i am technically "homeless"

want to buy a coffee machine but they're fucking expensive (and look bent)

BTFO

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based

thank u fren

how's the job hunt

ahh yes, it's the yank who said he never studies
brilliant

Already played an embarrassing number of hours tbqh lad.

by Grimes? innit??! knew it!

youtube.com/watch?v=S9BMX9E-oiU

Listening to Morrissey

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thank you my friend!

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theguardian.com/technology/2018/jul/15/elon-musk-british-diver-thai-cave-rescue-pedo-twitter

doing a read

no! i just ran it through waifu2x a few times its not actually high quality

I don't know how norms can survive without anonymous platforms

well I do know; they're all narcissists and attention-seekers and validation-seekers

I feel a kindred spirit with the people who have naturally gravitated to this anonymous website and posting environment

Somebody said you were in trouble with the police Cokelad, any truth to that?

morrisey makes me cringe a bit
dont get the hype

fuck off

what will happen when the diver turns out to be actually a paedo

holy shit how will thainonce ever be able to recover

In defence of Musk, he thinks the guy is a paedophile because he is a white expat living in Thailand. Exactly the same reason we asume Thailad and Alan are paedos.

So it's not just a completely random insult, just a very stupid one

seen you post your room several times before

indeed, agreed, proceed to smoke weed

Get a Moka pot

>tfw probably put 30 hours into the in-game version

just another one of their tactics to get you thinking about Tesla™

>Exactly the same reason we asume Thailad and Alan are paedos
*we know

my paki neighbor's 14 or something year old daughter asked me if i could download gta san andreas for her i said yea so she gave me her usb stick and ran off

fucking hell why did i agree to that

I just use a percolator
do want a proper espresso machine with a milk frothing thing and all that though
would be a pretty neat thing to have if people come over (which they don't)

Thailad is definitely a pedo

I don't think Alan is though; he goes on a lot of Tinder dates and stuff. Dunno what his motivations for being in Thailand are.

What if this was Thailad all along ad Musk figured it out

What are the charges? The lads were saying it was related to your stalking/voyeurism and general cokemongery

yes

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Well it's not just an insult but straight-up libel, he knows that though and it's why he deleted the tweets.

nonce her

threes or 2048

yes but the difference is that we are posting anonymously on an internet forum to an audience of 20 people, and Elon Musk is posting under his real name under his official verified account to an audience of 22 million followers

its literally libel and he could easily be sued

can't believe quite how furious musk is that his child death box wasn't a good idea and wouldn't have worked

beta freak

got an IQ of 133 on a 20 question online test, I therefore am smarter than every one of you

bow down to my intellectual prowess

youtube.com/watch?v=9cOYPFnQO1U

in a world where there are 2 billion tube journeys a year...

27 sexual assaults were recorded. we go onto the tube to discover the rampant harassment women face on a daily basis

Yes
Filthy slag is working for (((them)))

would love one of those poker mechanical keyboards Jow Forums always froths over

doesn't alan have kind of shaky degrees and academic standing
might be the only place he can work

Imagine what Emma Watson’s farts must smell like.

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she sounds adorable
m8 it takes like 5 minutes to get a gta sa torrent

consider suicide as an option

he's way ahead of you I'm sure

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why do people call Thailand expats pedos

I thought thailand was for ladyboys

Thailad isn't a pedo, just a tranny chaser. Alan is a confirmed nonce who uses the Tinder story as cover ala Jimmy Savile.

unlucky mate I'm 134

who cares, hardly something to mull over like this general has been doing for the last 10 hours you paki nonce freak

Heh, that's nothing
t. Got 147 once

One time when I was getting out of a very packed carriage my willy brushed the back of a womans bum on the way out, hope the rozzers don't show up because that was the most sexual contact I've ever had.

What do you do if you have a GF but have awful keffs

*strides into thread*
*looks around*
*realises I can't see anybody I know*
*walks out again*