I had a dream last night where I was at the fairground. Maisie was at the strength tester giving the lever an absolute beating. She had this huge, heavy, oversized wooden mallet which she was swinging down with impressive strength. I watched her get really into it, striking harder each time. With every blow the puck got closer and closer to the bell. I was in the crowd cheering her on, imploring her to hit it harder and harder. After a particularly big swing fell just short, we all thought she'd given up. She was panting, and sweat was running down her face and neck. But then she grasped the hammer tightly, and swung it back over her shoulders for a final bash. We began cheering as loud as ever. She stuck out her chest, spread her legs, and breathed in. With a yell she swung the hammer down. But suddenly, in place of the lever, I found myself lying there, stark naked, my cock and balls directly in the impact zone. I screamed as the bell dinged and the hammer pulverised my dick and bollocks into a fine paste.
I woke up with a rock solid erection, my trembling body splattered with cum edition
You'll need some paper towels and napkins for more than just to catch your cum with these wonderful treats. The twinkie aroma mixed with Alexa's poo is just superb. The aroma sticks with you for a while, and it's unbelievably pleasurable having the scent of Alexa's poo with you for hours after you've done tasting. Just taking a deep breath gives me a warm, pleasant feeling and puts a smile on face (I'm definitely a big smell person). I tried her out-of-this-world brownies first, but the twinkies were my first time eating straight poo, something I also wanted to try first with Alexa's magnificent ass. The first thing that I noticed is that straight poo has a bitter taste, not unlike black coffee for instance, and I'm someone who normally doesn't drink coffee without lots of cream and sugar. I knew that this would require some training! (it was at that moment that I truly understood the meaning of the phrase "toilet training"). I want to be able to make Alexa happy and eat all of her shit whenever she tells me to. I finished about half of the twinkie and left the paper towel with the crumbs and cream on my nightstand, then I took a deep whiff first thing the next morning, and it got me hard instantly from the still strong, undeniable aroma of Alexa's poo. I was really looking forward to finishing the other half. I took out the other half later on that day and the magnificent poo aroma was still just as strong (the twinkies are definitely a pretty strong/distinct poo experience, if that's what you need). I was really excited to finish the other half of my Alexa poo twinkie. These twinkies are a great intermediate step in your training (Alexa may want to consider trying the same thing with ho-hos, since the black coffee-like poo taste works really well with chocolate;) It's truly just a gift and a pleasure having Alexa's poo, and you can't go wrong with her excellent twinkies.
Lincoln Miller
If all our fetishes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart.
Nah, just a symptom of modern life is wanting to kill yourself because you have no hope, if you want to call it depression I guess you can but it hasn't got nowt to do with you, it's the environment.
Adam Stewart
got a wedding to go to this friday and I woke up with a face full of acne today for the first time in months
what modern socialists like to forget is that all the popular socialist movements of the 20th century were overtly nationalistic and patriotic ones as well. none were internationalist
Dylan Young
Real Antipodean hours
Nolan Roberts
Commemorative Fortnite tournament celebrating the release of Tommy Robinson will be held at 8
Brayden Thompson
okay, now this is epic
Matthew Jones
Any modern man in
Grayson Cruz
>only 2 of my friends are in a stable long term relationship (and that's with each other)
Then do so and stop asking for recommendations you timewasting prick
Gavin Reyes
i'm not sure
Daniel Davis
Sausegg rolle
Jacob Campbell
>my mind is a prison *hums California Love feat Dr.Dre*
Ryder Perez
I have spent real money to buy shit in video games but rarely more than the real money I would spend to buy a video game itself. Spending that much is mental. Some guy in Canada just got arrested for embezzling money, he took over 4 million dollars but spent 1million of it on a mobile app.
Evan Wood
ran into some lad at the shops earlier, saw him struggling to carry his two bags of beans started beeping the horn a bunch, should've seen the runt squirm hahah
Aaron Cook
going to sample homer simpson's footstep sounds and use that to make a drumbeat for a song
The other day two travelers sitting in a beat up transit van at the McDonald’s drive through started beeping their horn and shouting “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?” At me
I don’t know why
Ethan Long
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Andrew Taylor
Genuine surge in rage from lefties in the general today. Cannot say I like it one jot.
>that one street with multiple cats lazing about Wonder what causes that
Brayden Cruz
Well, you can kill my father, you can kill my son You can kill my children with a gun You can kill my family, my family tree You can kill my body, baby You can kill my body, baby But you can't kill me
Henry Bennett
pringles cheese and onion for brunch again
Austin Morales
really? feels pretty tame today.
Jayden Morgan
Literally, unironically, the answer is a mix of "BEE your self!" and "BEE the change you want to SEE in life :)"
A long time ago it was once bought to the attention of the king of Sparta that democracy, not hegemony, might be the future politics of Greece, to which the laconic king replied "so be it, then start with your families".
Now, to be fair, his tongue-in-cheek reply was not meant to be taken seriously, but there is a certain wisdom to his joke which makes his advice truly superb-- He's right. If you wish to change a society, you must first start from within, starting with small, basic units. Family units, neighborhoods, communities, towns, cities, states, countries, and then from there? The whole world.
Lift heavy, eat right, stop watching anime, and suddenly, the future of the world lies not in the hands of the Spartans, but in yours.
Ayden Evans
jesus wept at least get some frozen pies or something so you can have a povvo dinner. don't need to go full sad case
For the craic la, you never just drive round with your mates and abuse people who are walking. Best is when you beep at hot girls and they look at ye and then start smiling that smile.
just applied for a job in a Tesco that it said was in my area on the job site but only after filling out the application on the Tesco site did it say the job was 50km away
Jayden Flores
yoked out on unleaded
Aaron Thomas
shut up
Gabriel Gray
I’ve literally been boxing and lifting for years and I’ve never been into manchild shit like anime. This purported esoteric advice that lifting fucking weights and reading will monumentally change your life is lies. They’re nice hobbies tho.
Isaiah Ortiz
it doesn't
Adam Lee
you need to be more jovial about it like when I was younger and one of my mates got a car, we'd all get in and drive about yelling "your tea's ready!" at fat people and it was hilarious
but just loudly beeping your horn at people? it's not on
