/brit/

cheeky md sesh edition

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youtube.com/watch?v=_xotXHjKHqY
selfhacked.com/blog/lower-inflammation-boost-brain-function-injaculation/
youtube.com/watch?v=xyHNMHN6O8k
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

first for cardiff

cara

not even a remotely good image to convey that feeling

gonna get on the pills tomorrow night weheyyy

The clothes order:

>2 pairs of adidas cloudfoam trainers(one black, one gray)
>Uniqlo long-sleeve heat tech t shirts(2 navy, 2 black, 2 white, 2 dark grey)
>2 Orient Bambino VII watches(one black strap/gray face, brown strap/white face)
>10ml of Creed Aventus aftershave for sampling
>2 pairs of nudie jeans(one gray, one dark blue)
>1 pair of black, leather lacoste trainers

rate the order lads, sorting out the ol 'drobe

The historical trend is for multiracial nations to fragment into their ethnolinguistic components

fwb has returned to just being f

gutted

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reported to the authorities

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die druggie scum

the so-called "virgin walk" i.e autism walking is in fact caused by virginity

what autismos cannot hope to realise by themselves is that the muscles in their pelvic floor, hips, abductors, glutes and general pelvic region as vastly underdeveloped compared to the most basic normal person

normal people in relationships have sex multiple times a week; vast sessions of exerted thrusting develops these muscles in a way that inadvertently transfers to a person's gait when they walk

the infamous virgin walk can in fact be cured (while remaining a virgin) by simply performing 3 sets of 100 reps of vigorously humping the air, 3 times a week to condition muscles which normalshits naturally develop through having regular, organic sex

fuck off you stupid cunt

Want to get this tattoo ASAP

wrote a thesis:

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had enough of md
brain feels like a fucking wetwipe

me at the sunderland game tomorrow

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watching babestation

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today I have eaten
>biltong
>four Lidl antipasti sets
>two burgers
>four rashers of bacon

billabong

someone fucked up First Reformed is HD ripped lads

>youtube.com/watch?v=_xotXHjKHqY

>China doesn't make good musi-

Okay, since the discussion regarding the ingesting of your own spunk for health benefits, etc, I've done some more research:

Apparently there is a method of 'injaculating', in which the semen is blocked from escaping and is directed back into the bladder without ever having to actually ingest it manually.

>Injaculation is a term used to refer to releasing semen inside your body through your bladder instead of outside your penis (ejaculation).
>It involves pressing on an area or “button” called the “perineum”, which blocks the semen from escaping through the penis and is instead redirected into the bladder, which then enters the blood stream.
(I've been doing pressing this spot under my balls all of my life when masturbating but letting go when cumming, but didn't actually know about any of this shit)

selfhacked.com/blog/lower-inflammation-boost-brain-function-injaculation/

>Semen is the liquid stuff that nourishes the sperm. So semen is like the pool and sperm is the swimmer.
>Semen is produced in the seminal vesicle and prostate. The prostate produces the milky white stuff, which is 30% of the overall semen.
>Sperm is produced in the testes or balls.
>Sperm move to the epididymis to mature and then the vas deferens, in which case it’s ready for ejaculation (or injaculation)

Like seeing the disk drive roll back when I insert

I have been summoned

The virgin walk

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india's gonna win innit bla
y'all yamagucci
x

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really wish monster ultra hadn't become a meme, it's a legitimately good drink for when you don't have time to make coffee

Is that your normie disguise

chuckled briefly before a look of horror took over my face, as you might go and make a billion early news for the evening

I figured I masturbate enough to the point I should at least be good at it, and know what is possible. It turns out I may not have to ingest it manually at all, and with this new method can still achieve the same health benefits.

Some apparent benefits:
>Semen is full of hormones, and the body is always in a state of needing more hormones.
>According to a study released in the US National Library of Medicine, it's chock-full of anti-anxiety hormones including serotonin, progesterone and oxytocin.
>According to Scientific American, ingesting semen can actually function as an anti-depressant. Results of a study published in the "Archives of Sexual Behaviour" discovered that people who did not use protection against semen entreating their body had "significantly fewer depressive symptoms."
>Antioxidants, which will help keep your body 'healthy and refreshed', according to BioMed Central.
>Naturally, one of the main ingredients in semen is testosterone...
>Ejaculate is loaded with Nerve Growth Factor (NGF), which essentially means that ejaculate is good for your brain. NGF boosts the neurons in your brain, which serve as an overall benefit to your entire body.
>Spermidine, an ingredient in sperm (obviously) has anti-ageing uses and is even used in some spas

Whaddya think, lads?

ongoing leftypol raid
estimated one virgin shutin and one bullied teenager

mates only tolerate me because I'm good looking

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I fly like paper, get high like planes
If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name

>don't have time to make coffee
what?
boil water
put granules in mug
add water
drink
easy

EMBARRASSING LAD

what's an egg?

got the desk fan pointed at my face from 30 centimetres away and STILL not cool

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can't believe babestation is still a thing.
i remember wanking to it when I was about 13

EVERYWHERE I GO

EVERYBODY KNOWS

I looked into your eyes and my world came tumbling down

You're the devil in disguise, that's why I'm singing this song to you

To know you

is to love you
EVERYWHERE I GO

EVERYBODY KNOWS

I PAY FOR YOU WITH TEARS

AND SWALLOWED ALL MY PRIDE

A BEAUTIFUL STRANGER

Drink it anyway, how are a bunch of Jow Forums shut-ins going to see you?

extremely bad apart from the jeans

>it's a legitimately good drink for when you don't have time to make coffee
Monster ultra is the only drinkable monster apart from the ones in the yellow cans.
Prefer other energy drinks or even better, chilled coffee drinks.

i bet you all grunt at each other. dull wh*toid virgin freaks

>serotonin
Serotonin's a neurotransmitter, you can't just put it in your blood and expect it to work (serotonergic drugs work by crossing the blood brain barrier and causing it to be released).

>being the best looking in the friendship group

anyone else know this feel?

>friendship group
no mate sorry

Bubblegum ice cream desu

>>According to a study released in the US National Library of Medicine, it's chock-full of anti-anxiety hormones including serotonin, progesterone and oxytocin.
theory: women are fucking crazy because they're meant to be ejaculated inside of often and their hormones and moods are partially regulated by semen

any fellow morrow-toilers in?

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just banged a fit French girl lads, done king henry proud I have

Yes and I'm ugly. Really says a lot about the group of lads I'm in

fan doesn't "cool" sweaty
an ac does that
x

anyone think likthi's is worth doing

There is literally nothing wrong with Mbwembe and Ngubu hitting a cheeky one and making a dash for it UP THE CENTRE HERE COMES MIMBWASA! STRAIGHT DOWN THE GARDEN PATH, THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR!
AL RASHIDI COMES IN TO SUPPORT, HE SPLASHES ACID RIGHT IN MY UNCLES FACE HIS SCALP IS COMING OFF LIKE POTATO PEEL, NICE LITTLE STAB AS HE GOES DOWN!
MIMBWASA DODGES ME DAD WITH A STUNNING SWING FROM HIS BASEBALL BAT, HIS HEAD BOUNCES OFF A FLAGSTONE! HE'S THROUGH THE DOOR. SLAMS THE CLOSING IT INTO MY NANS HEAD! WHAT A TOUCH.
OH! OH! HE'S GOING UP THE STAIRS! PUSHES ME MUM DOWN EM SHE HITS THE BOTTOM WITH A MEATY THUD! STUNNER! WHAT A CHEEKY LITTLE SHOVE FACKIN LOVELY!
OHHH OHHHH HE'S AT THE TOP OF THE LANDING AND STRAIGHT INTO ME SISTERS CUNT!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

NUDIE JEANS ARE GARBAGE LMAO

T. ARMCHAIR EXPERT ARGUING WITH ACTUAL STUDIES

FUCK OFF LAD GIVE IT A REST

I don't think any TV show captures British life better than 15 Storeys High. Ideal also does a good job but it doesn't capture the bleak weather.

got a pleasant surprise for you mate...tomorrow is saturday!!! haha enjoy your lie in!

oh hi, nigger

Should learn how you use your dick properly then

Oi. You.

Fuck off.

You heard me.

Fuck off.

Fuck right off and don’t look back.

nah
the prettiest guy in my group is gay, so all the women fawn over him but then get so disappointed

>working weekends

runt tier tbqh

I probably would be if I had a friendship group haha

sad little cunt

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post banging 90s techno sets
youtube.com/watch?v=xyHNMHN6O8k

COULD BE INDEED LADDY

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M EATING MY OWN SPUNK AFTER I WANK NOW

FUCK IT, ITS GAINS END OF DAY LA

WHATS GOT YOUR KNICKERS IN A TWIST QUEER

>T. ARMCHAIR EXPERT ARGUING WITH ACTUAL STUDIES

link to the study

t. medic

love this gimmick

*decants a Monster Ultra into the cup*
ah ah ah!

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you never said what you meant
do you mean rubbing it on your skin or something?

ummm.. what's an orangutan!?

It would be extremely painful...

>BREAKING: The National Rifle Association (@NRA) warns that it is in grave financial jeopardy, according to a recent court filing obtained by Rolling Stone, and that it could soon “be unable to exist… or pursue its advocacy mission.”

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literally no other flaggers in :[

Technophobia played on loop for 2 hours

Prefer coffee-drinking Pepe to monster boomer wojak.

finally yanks might do something abou their gun problem

The last week of my internship with the NSA is coming up. It was alright.

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>Djrr6cFXgAI35Fj.jpg

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yanks don't have a gun problem
they have a society problem
bottom text

don't like scotland

I like the welsh and irish but scotland just seems ridiculously whiny despite us not actually doing anything against them

regard

Can't decide between a fitbit and a Garmin Vivosmart

yeah all me mates have gone bald. i even get hit on by gays at bars sometimes

modern Britain

same

had my arse slapped and had to put up with it cause i went to a gay bar

DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS AND CANT BE ARSED FINDING IT, BUT YOU COULD FIND IT RELATIVELY EASY I'D GUESS

EITHER WAY, IT STILL HAS HEALTH BENEFITS RIGHT?

NO LAD IT GOES BANG DOWN THE HATCH LIKE A VITAMIN TABLET.
NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY LIKE CUM EATING INSTRUCTIONS VIDEOS OR W.E. BUT COMPLETELY SEPARATE LIKE WHEN I FINISH WANKING, I JUST BANG IT DOWN AND DRINK SOME WATER QUICK. ITS NOT DONE IN A SEXUAL WAY, I'M NOT FUCKING SWISHING IT AROUND MY MOUTH... ITS JUST FOR GAINS PURELY.

SPUNK IS THE MOST POWERFUL SUBSTANCE ON EARTH. IF ITS YOUR OWN IT AIN'T GAY