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I wrapped a potato up in aluminium foil, and put it in the microwave because we didn't have any plastic wrap, in short the microwave shot out electricity, and almost exploded.

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>sign in my elementary school bathroom said "please wash hands"
>someone wrote underneath it "after masturbating"
>ask my mother what masturbation is
>she explains that it means to play with a hard penis for the pleasure involved in it
>ask her to do it for me

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When i was little i was alone in my house and wanted some cereal but we didn't have milk so instead of milk i used grape juice

> ask her to do it for me
Did she?

when I was young no one ever told me about washing under your foreskin and I got so much smegma under there it crystallised and fused to my skin, I ended up painstakingly chipping away at it to remove it and now I have a little scar where It took the most effort to pull off

>>ask her to do it for me
Don't just stop there.

got arrested for suspected of terrorism and had all my shit electronics taken away for a few months while they went through all the files
C U T E

are you an arap?

No she sent me to the family computer to google it.
Now she tells any girl i invite over ;_;

I literally sharted myself

no
i had a sensitive document i took from my father
he had to report it missing and the police got involved i got arrested
the end

When I was little I put these pic related behind the wheels of my dads car for no reason. I said it wasn't me who did it until my mom told me that if it wasn't me then they'd have to call the police, and I thought I was going to jail if the police were involved so I confessed.
Weirdly enough I don't remember my parents yelling or being mad at me

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I once asked my teacher if she was a virgin and when i realized what i just did i tried to make a lame excuse that i was talking about the virgin mary

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> Now she tells any girl i invite over ;_;
That is actually smooth way to go sexual.
Your mom is smart.

I put a small ball made of tape in my nose
I tried to snap a shaving razor blade and got a kind of deep cut on my finger
I put two medical needles in my thumbs (two seperate times)
I accidently fell in hot boiled flowers water and fell in the mud in another separate occasion
I used to burn different things with my heater in my room instead of studying and one time a glass cup exploded and and hit me in the cheek and left a spot but it's not clear now

Playing airsoft while riding on the roof of my friend's SUV at 30-40mph

picked the wrong course in uni
wasted 7 years of my life studying something to until finally figuring out I don't even like working in that area
literally my single regret in life

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Back when I was a kid a friend from school showed me an article that described "polish dynamite" that you could make yourself. And of course we had to try it. We blew up toy cars and had a ton of fun.

However now I know this was an unstable chemical and we could have easily blown off our hands while handling it.

That reminds me: I love(d) Chemistry and it was my hobby in childhood, so friend of my aunt, who was a scientist gave me set of Chemistry jars and kit as a gift. Of course no reactives, so instead I improvised and used different stuff be it self made herb juices or medicals and sometimes even refined green mixture after filtration of concrete cement. I remember ruining two set of cloth after mixture dropped on my cloth and once I burned the table.

kek

Sweden
Fell in love and gf'd her

What was it?

Let me guess
Comp Sci/Programming?

>Will you show me?
>I'd be right happy to!

French kissed mom

>flag
>wore my aneros to an important meeting

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what is the difference between a sniper bullet and just a bullet?

I’ve left the key in the ignition of my car while going to the store twice now. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but my short-term memory is absolutely shit and it didn’t use to be like this. I’m only 22.

Rubbed penis with friend in kindergarden, it might have turned me bi (I only like girls and cute boys)

>only cute boys
You say that now but once you've seen the ass of muscle dads hooboy

I had a friend who immigrated from Russia in the late 1990's as a kid. He told me it wasn't unusual to find handguns and AK's behind his apartment building. At the time I thought he was bullshitting, but can anyone confirm if this was likely true in that time and place?

Muscles, over-masculine face and excessive hair are a turn off for me, that's why I'm not fully gay

Based

Killed my cat
:(

i do this regularly knowingly because i know nobody will steal my car since i live in a 100% white nice area with hardly any crime. i have left my car windows down on hot days with my wallet and everything just in there and nothing happens

We used to

>Fill 2litre bottle with petrol
>Put aerosol can in it
>Fill with nails and shit
>Put in phone box
>Put fire next to it
>Shoot with air rifle from safe distance
>Blow up phone box

We could have hurt ourselves so much

Lol I don’t live in a 100% white area and yet my stuff has never been stolen. I don’t think it’s a good practice to leave your key in the ignition anyways, 100% White area or otherwise.

>come home from school when I was 17
>it's pouring rain and no one is home
>tfw I don't have my keys
>sit in the back garden and prepare to wait 4-5 hours for someone to come hom
>after 2 hours stand up to stretch my legs
>hear jingling
>keys were in my pocket the whole fucking time
on the bright side, finding my keys that day was one of the most cathartic moments of my life

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Ohohoh! Love this one
Holy...
I had the same thing, but with my cousin
Idk, it depends on from with region he is from. If he is from Chechnya, so it might be true. I don't think one could find lots of AKs in the big cities like Saint Petersburg or Moscow as a kid.

when i was like 10 i climbed up to the top of one of these (maybe about 5-10 metres high) and jumped off
it hurt

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1. Often walked on ice with no claws or other protective gear and smashed it with a metal rod while walking.
2. Shot real arrows with metal tip in the sky and then tried to evade them as they landed.
3. Put a knife on one end of seesaw playground thingy and then jumped as hard as I could on the other end. The knife propelled towards me and I felt it grazing my hair and then landing like 10 meters away.

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Went to study to cuckmany and then returned back, because i felt better at home when i was at holidays. Now i regret everything because of that.

biochem
should've gone to compsci

Stepping in water along with a soaked electric extender, which was turned on.

What the fuck

Same. We also did other ultragay things without even realising it. I'm straight though.

same +3, kissed my friend on the lips in 4th grade or so, turned out straight. we just thought it was funny

Kept 50 gb of CP on my notebook and brought it to repairs without deleting it

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Was studying here so bad?

It's more of a social thing. Plus it was hard, though managable, if i was studying harder. And by "regret everything" i meant that i regret going back to this shithole. Should have stayed in Germany.

Should have studied navigation instead bruh

When I was a kid I literally shoved my cock in my babysitters mouth while she was sleeping,she woke up and since then I have never seen someone with a look of surprise as she had in that moment,she slapped me,afterwards explained the situation to my mother and then my mother just told me to never do it again.My father was laughing like a maniac during dinner that day.

What does one need to go study there and never return?

Stayed 6 years in the same uni that I hated, because I didn't want to admit my mistake and thought I could just power through it.

Did you knowingly steal it, or was it a mistake?

>1)Country

bigger new zealand

>2)Whats the most retarded thing you have done in your life?

when i was a kid i was on holiday on a farm and i started turning over logs and rocks looking at the bugs underneath. i turned over a stump and there was a small snake so i caught it. i didnt know at the time that it was a baby brown snake which is one of the most venomous snakes in the world. i showed the adults and they freaked out. i eventually let it go in a secluded area and no one got bitten.

1) flag
2) brought a dud hand grenade to school that I found when I was 7 (had no clue it was a dud, just thought it looked cool)

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1. Flag
2. When I was 7 I tricked my older brother to swallow a mouthful of a concoction I made out of pig blood, water and sugar because I was jealous of him having his first communion which is pretty important in Polan and everyone was giving him all of the attention all the time because of it.

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In kindergarten I was too scared to ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom and pissed myself in class. Then, to make it worse the teacher had some girl classmate escort me to the office. I went to school with her until the end of 8th grade and we never talked about it

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got hooked on meth

Ran a shoplifting and pickpocketing gang/circle when I was 12

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When I was a kid, I placed my hand inside a shed with dogs in it, at least 3 dogs were kept there during school hours then left out around the school at night.

I could have lost my hand. I own dogs now

Tried to learn japanese

You could end up home anyways, having a purpose for a visa is a start for staying in for a time being, at least.

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I licked honey soap when I was child.