How do i make my resume less garbage, lads?

how do i make my resume less garbage, lads?

i'm in college, going to graduate soon. looking for my first job

Attached: maxresdefault.jpg (1533x961, 123K)

Other urls found in this thread:

kalzumeus.com/2012/01/23/salary-negotiation/
bitcoinbook.cs.princeton.edu/
youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLvH2FwAQhnpj1WEB-jHmPuUeQ8mX-XXG
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Send it to me over mega and I'll re-do it for you, dipshit - and no, not here to hack you, this is a one-time offer and you've got 5 mins to send

Find a store that went out of business and claim on resume that you were corporate level

Wow what an opportunity, I'd take this

Join a crypto community and work for coins. Fuck resumes, you going to dress up in a suit and beg for the job too?

thanks, i'm removing personal details from it right now

yeah, i don't know much about crypto

hmmmmmm

r/resumes

forget the resume.
Stop thinking like a worker and think like the boss.
Imagine running a business. You have deadlines, are constantly in danger of running out of money, and you could be sued by anyone at any turn. It's fucking stressful and terrifying at every turn.

The worker might think to get a job you need to appear motivated and competent. These are good things but will really only get you shit, high turnover jobs.

The boss needs people WHO ARE NOT LITERAL HUMAN GARBAGE. You cannot get that from a resume and interview. You need people who can do at least some work AND NOT FUCK EVERYTHING UP LIKE A PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE. You are worrying about everything else in the world. You cant be worrying about theft, not showing up for a week, drug abuse, harrasment lawsuits, etc.

If an employer had to choose between an unknown that could be a superstar and someone who isn't guaranteed to do the above, the second guy will get the job (unless it is some mission critical role).

So what do you need to do? Meet people in the industry and prove that you are not a literal piece of human garbage. That's it. Those types of people are in high demand.

ignore this entirely - a good resume, a civil and tactful demeanor during the interview (as well as keeping up with them and showing constant interest), and a respectable appearance can land you jobs that require skills you don't even have - I got my first job in inventory control without knowing what the fuck it even was - it's about presentation and psychology more than anything

taking way too long m8, you need to give more of a shit if someone's offering you something like this, peace

Leave this board, Jow Forums has become /crypto/

I made my resume in latex, so i've put it as a png here. Still working on the "projects" section
what do you guys think?

will check it out, thanks

>Meet people in the industry and prove that you are not a literal piece of human garbage.
I'm fairly confident that I'm capable, but could you give me some tips on how to prove myself? I'm not great at networking and really want to improve in this area

I definitely want to improve my presentation skills as well. How did you learn to present yourself in a way that appeals to the interviewer?

Attached: anonresume.png (3400x4400, 293K)

Is html/css really a programming language?

Not really, but every recruiter I've spoken to said that I might as well include it

pls respond

Oh shit your comp sci? Read this: kalzumeus.com/2012/01/23/salary-negotiation/
Comp sci is different if you want to work with startups or small teams. It's much harder but worth it if you are after power (competence with your skillset). Put github projects and a code sample url on the resume. Maybe create an online portfolio of your work.
Also, look at machine learning, it has the very real ability to completely eat every other field, including software development.
I do suggest learning about crypto, you are one of the few people that will have no problem understanding everything at it's core.

Thanks for the link, I'll definitely check out that article.

I'm not interested in working for startups. I want to get a position at a large company that has been in business for a long time. That way, I feel I can get some job security whereas a startup would disappear overnight if VC funding dries out.

I've been focusing mainly on systems and information security, but machine learning (and the associated mathematics) is definitely on my to-do list. Got any resources for learning about crypto/blockchain at the technical level? A lot of the "tutorials" online are selling their snake oil rather than providing actual information

Focus on who you know--networking is fucking important in any career. After that, the cover letter is at least as important as the resume itself. Don't be afraid to cold call to ask questions about "the application process" or what they need and use that as a chance to sell yourself.

For a resume, just get to the point. List skills and accomplishments relevant to the position you're applying for. Then steer your responses to the interview questions to talking about stuff you know will sell them.

Video lectures here for crypto: bitcoinbook.cs.princeton.edu/

This is a great ML course:
youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLvH2FwAQhnpj1WEB-jHmPuUeQ8mX-XXG

You may want to rethink your position of working for large companies. In my experience, long term employees at large companies are the worst people to work with. They are stuck in their own tech stack, long since relevant outside of the company.
They also have a hard time learning new skills (which is where real job security lies).
Source: Consulted for large companies for a couple of years, worked with startups for much longer.

Could you share some tips on networking? I'm not very good at developing contacts and want to fix this ASAP

Thanks a lot, I will look at those tutorials.

As for the large company part, I definitely don't want to be stuck in a single stack and want to learn new skills as they become relevant. Is there a way to get such a fast-paced environment with the job security of a larger company?
I'm leaning away from startups because I've heard stories from friends who have already graduated, where they joined a startup on graduation that vanished in 6 months leaving them to start the job search process all over again

no. just no. go to your university and ask for support to get an internship right fucking now. your college must have some office that help students get their feet in the door. if you already don't have a job offer you are going directly to unemployment or mcdonalds

Look into pivotal labs maybe. There are many companies making shitloads of money with compsci people at their helm. FB / Google are obvious ones, many others though.
Your friends are undergoing trial by fire in the startup realm. It's full of hard to answer questions, uncertainty of outcome and many more failure stories than success stories. In short, it's where only the strong survive and it's one place to become strong. Failure is part of that, and yes it does suck, and yes it makes you re-evaluate what's important now and what's going to be important in the future.
Ray Kurzweil famously created his compute projections based on trying to predict where his company could become successful with future tech.

You aren't comp sci, are you? There is currently a massive developer shortage, it's different than other fields.

google "finance resume"

fit yours to format

if you don't have the achievements or internships to fill it out and you're past your third year just fucking kill yourself now because you will literally never make it.

That's a good idea, it makes sense that a company that sells tech will spend a lot of money on tech R&D. I'd consider working at a startup if I'm sure beyond a doubt that they have an actual product that someone is willing to pay for

I posted mine here: what do you think?

How do I get a job in the tech field if I've been in the military since high school with absolutely no relevant professional experience? I've never had to make a resume before.

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looks fine provided your actual qualifications and experience fill it out to the same extent. I know literally nothing about the hiring process for tech so I can't say beyond that

I think the point was to upload the file itself so he could edit it, not a picture. No one is going to recreate a resume from a picture.

The resources are available. Best advice is to join a github project (or write one) and try and solve a real problem. Do that over and over until you don't hate the result then leverage that towards finding a role.
It's a long path but I doubt it's the hard compared to the other shit you've done.

Dude - self-employment.

And if you hate the system you can go to the crime route.

Thanks brother. I didn't realize using a github repo could help land a position. I'm starting school for computer science this fall. Will that help a lot? I don't have a lot of people to ask these questions, as most of the people I work with are meat heads.

Fuck your education and fuck your GPA. If you have relevant work experience, put that shit RIGHT up top. Experience trumps education 99 times out of 100.

So self employment... That shit is hard, right?

How do?

Mining, game hacks, bots for crypto-trading, reverse-engineering freelancing, security consultant, video game currency-accounts trading.

Try them all in 6 months, approach advanced levels - see where you have unique ideas and penetrated the market with ease.

For me - behind a computer it's a must for self-employment. In my country people are uneducated and retarded starting a business is no-no - I have to produce value on other countries and over the internet in other to gain capita.

They do, I have three bullet points for each job

As the other guy said and from what I've been told, it's important to have tech-related personal projects

what kind of tech are you interested in, more of a programming role or an IT one? you should focus your projects on what kind of job you're looking for

I definitely plan on doing that once I've graduated college and have a few years of experience under my belt, but does that also apply to new grads? I have a few internships but should that really go before my degree and GPA if I'm looking for my first job?

I made a few shitty game hacks a long time ago
Is there actually any money to be made there?

>Is there actually any money to be made there?
Hell yeah, huge bucks - you can make more than 100k / year if you actually own the project for a game that is multiplayer.

That's kind of funny, honestly. Neopets and Myspace taught millions of people how to write HTML over a decade ago. I figured it was a second language to most of the world already. If you've played WoW you probably also know LUA just to get your addons working how you want them.

That's interesting, I was always under the impression that users wouldn't spend much money on cheats

But 100k? damn. i suppose its time to fire up ida pro again

awesome, thank. tip on how to kms?

Experience outweights education big time. I’ve learn that the hard way. Wasn’t getting any offers but the second I got 3 months of experience. They started calling. It’s ridiculous user, it really is.

Dude markets are fucking huge - I've personally spent more on cracked accounts, cheats, gold from Chinese than from services from game providers.