/brit/

>go downstairs
>dad is watching a documentary of russian history on tv
>mum is watching a soap opera on the computer

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Literally got 0 money
0

Gonna have to sell my phone

how much is maccas in chinkland
do they treat it as a western delicacy and charge more like chinese takeaway in the wes

pathetic prole

theres a girl in this thread just trying to figure out who it is

it's actually crazy how ugly I am, even tho I have been this ugly (or at least aware of it) for at least 20+ years it is still a shock everyday when I realise/see myself and remember just how fucking ugly I am.

youtube.com/watch?v=uetzIcikf4k

bit cheaper than the UK but not by much
big mac meal is like £3 or £4
can get a chinese meal for much cheaper

*raises paw*

...it happened again lads...

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It's pronounced "byerk"

explain this

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cant find my PSL anywhere

why does he look ike a chimp

gonna do this again because i posted in the previous thread so it's invalid

odds - i start drinking immediately
evens - i start drinking at 13:00

cheese is expensive i guess
even the fake plastic crap

cheese is expensive

got an asymmetrical jawline from losing a molar

it rhymes with jerk

got my willy out haha odds i wank with my left evens i wank with my right 0 and i get a shag off adultwork

For the rich user, put it this way, you're going to the wrong clubs. Money doesn't impress alone if you are going out in Hampstead, having your portfolio isn't particularly remarkable. Where it does pay dividends and when you can afford to dress a little edgy + fashionable is nightclubs in Brixton, Peckham, Shoreditch. Ugly people, no offence, get laid all the time here, also claim you are bisexual even if you aren't and you'll be able to nail a 7/10 vapid art ho. Come on la' what do you have to lose?

odds - i leave the house today
evens - i dont

the only people who idolise the past are ugly runts who think they'd stand a better chance at getting a girl if the girl had literally no rights or say in the matter whatsoever
rapists-in-waiting is a good description of them
simple as

I can never even taste mcdonalds cheese.

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>dress a little edgy + fashionable
Wish I could do this. Walk through London and they all look so good. Don't know how they do it

What are some ways of making extra money lads?

reckon i'm a virgin freak

get some thigh-high socks, advertise on Jow Forumstraps and sell your boipucci

lad this was ages ago, i've never been out in hampstead. that was some wank place in chelsea and yeh loads of other lads there with tables too but as I said everyone else on the table I paid for pulled except me lol. My fashion is really good have well fitting clothes etc as I have to get it fucking adjusted to fit at all. You have surely heard about last year when I was so bored that I started going out a bit again and was paying people to come with me we hit up brixton, peckham, vauxhall, camden etc etc we did it all lad. Same result everytime. Doesn't matter how funny I am, how well I dress, how much money I flaunt there is an inherent ugliness that is unreconcilable wrt picking up women.

Here is another good story right from one of those nights out, we were out at like brixton jamm or something in smoking area chatting to some girls. Was talking about literature with one really good vibes she kept saying wow you are really smart and shit like that. I pop off to the toliet for 2 minutes I come back and she is making out with some random guy I never even seen her talk to lol. Later I tried to speak to her again and she ignored me and acted as if I didn't exist lol

best fanny i've had is eastern european, they treat brits like a fashion accessory so having one puts them higher on their social scales. they will literally do anything to keep you around

my sense of humour is only getting more immature the older I get

i can
like it even though it shouldn't be called cheese

funny when people pretend not to like the beatles. everyone likes them.

I long for the day that Anglo imperialism in Scotland will end.

ah yes, very good, very good
everyone here just LOVES reading novellas, don't we?
fuck off

why did everything after ww2 go to shit?

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you sound like a faggot
who cares

I (((wonder)))

the easybeats > the beatles
(please support the australian music industry)

>at a club
>talking literature
no hope for you lol

hmm.. I think my taste buds might be fucked from years of smoking

they are incredibly shit
not sure how they ever even got popular

Had a Mcdonalds in turkey once
Tasted different

Everyone drop what you're doing and watch this

bbc.co.uk/sport/live/cricket/45248282

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haha cute.

jews unironically

If you fancy a holiday and don't mind azn birds you'll do fine here (I don't mean prozzies)

solid bait

Go to markets in shoreditch, there's loads and it's ez

sticky fingers are alri

that wont help

big mac here tastes different to a big mac in the uk
the cheese is rarely melted, the bread tastes different, and i feel like the seasoning on the "beef" is different

youtu.be/UxXEuS1oIy8

western civilisation
more like jewish civilisation

lol
dont like asian women

bizarre post

good lad

fucking capitalist YouTube cunts

youtu.be/j58V2vC9EPc

fair

beggars can't be choosers

thank you for supporting the australian music industry

so this is what aussie girls look like, huh?

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>beggar asks for money so she can buy food
>give her our leftover food from some trip
>no i only take money

Pay me to come out and I'll get you laid
Mate, you sound like a retard

i love asian women

WTF is his problem?

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>i love asian women

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I'm in lads

attractive AND funny

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>Was talking about literature
>Literature

Mate, what the fuck are you doing? I like lit too, but are you that autistic you think this is something you talk about at a club?

Are you trying to bore them to sleep and then rape them or wha? What's the approach here?

lol
wut she was miring hard or at least appearing to and it was she who started talking about books not me

want to put my willy in that dad's google history girl
phoawrr

who are sticky fingers? seen them mentioned here a few times but never heard of them, assume they're aussies?

this is the only good beatles song
youtube.com/watch?v=Yjyj8qnqkYI

and they didn't even do it that well
the very first cover on youtube is 100 times better than the original

youtube.com/watch?v=dNYOHM51aSg

To be fair people posion them and shit la
Someone gave the local foodbank here food with razosr/blade shavings in

WHO THINKS MY STRUGGLE IS FUNNY?

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youtube.com/watch?v=15l3hx6loQc

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I realised it's LARP anyway don't worry

whats the difference between /v/ and /vg/
whats the 'general' bit referring to?

youtube.com/watch?v=EJ2Pj04z7pc
this is a good track

never thought about it but that's a pretty good idea

Stop being a retard

> *Silence in the auditorium*
> "So...Nigel Farage, eh?"
> *Chuckles as the audience savour their own farts from wine glasses*
> "That Nigel Farage...of UKIP"
> *Smug titters abound.*
> "That Nigel Farage..."
> *A snort is heard at the back of the room, over the rustling of Guardian Newspapers.*
> "That Nigel Farage...with his suits and his opinions..."
> *Laughter rises. A Fairtrade chai-tea onions latte is knocked over*
> "He "Tells it like it is", doesn't he? That's what they say..."
> *Quentin. A 75lb graphics designer, and proud member of Momentum shits his vintage undercrackers*
> "Tells it like it is..."
> *Stewart Lee breaks the 4th wall and looks at the camera! How unexpected. The crowd erupts!!!*
> "Well let me tell you about that Nigel Farage..."
> *Several members of the Vegan Pizza Place's non-denominational winter party die from organ failure caused by the overwhelming and hilarious wit*
> "I think that Nigel Farage..."
> *Humus and falafel start flying through the air, fair trade anarchy rules*
> "That Nigel Farage, with his suits and his opinions and his friends who are all bankers"
> *Dozens of malnourished men with ironic beards and frumpy women in ironic vintage wear are carried out on stretches, laughing profusely as their stomachs herniate*
> "I think he is a racist!"
> *Shoreditch is declared no-mans land*

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had a proper urge to spank this peng bit of arse in sainsburys

didn't like it

Nah, I help the homeless mate, I'm not a scumcunt

the rolling stones were really good

youtube.com/watch?v=FJNXf7hu5FA this is a really good tune

More of these pls, preferably with Russell Howard

Lol Stewart Lee wrote this