/brit/

I want to smell Emma Watson’s cute toots.

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>i have a pet

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because it's what stupid and fat people do, like you, fatty

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

Owning a pet is narcissism in the extreme.

I want you to stop posting this shit

small brain: dog
big brain: cat
galaxy brain with light coming out: bird

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small brain: cat
slightly bigger brain: dog
big brain: fish
bigger brain: girlfriend

lots of really low quality posts here tonight, even by /brit/'s standards. shall be leaving then, and taking my good posts with me.

I’m going to collectively hat the lot of you that are talking about pets.

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>I’m going to collectively hat the lot of you that are talking about pets.

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just went bankrupt ama

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

Todays birthday:
1691 – Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel, Holy Roman Empress

Prior to the wedding, she was forced to undergo a medical examination to prove her fertility and virginity by a doctor.

She was rumored to be a crypto-Protestant.

Court doctors prescribed large doses of liquor to make her more fertile, which gave her face a permanent blush.

Charles had her bedchamber decorated with erotic images of male beauty so as to make her expected baby male by stimulating her fantasy.

Doctors prescribed a rich diet to increase her fertility, which made her so fat that she became unable to walk, and had to be lowered in to her chairs by a specially constructed machine.

Although she produced no male, her daughter Empress Maria Theresa became one of the most powerful rulers of her age.

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>>I’m going to collectively hat the lot of you that are talking about pets.

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This is a billionaire general fuck off povo

LEGALIZE WATERBOARDING

Report submitted! This window will close in 3 seconds...

I don't feel like I get enough recognition for my "today in history" and "today's birthday" posts honestly. /brit/ used to love them but now nobody replies anymore

one week until dragon quest 11

You received several (You)s for your chink emperor that died on the crapper post.

why do you care about recognition on an anonymous website

Meme world is tough kid
They're not bad though I've been reading

how is having a pet soy?

Yeah I guess
Because /brit/ used to love all my posts and I'd get 3+ replies every time.

Dragon Quest Builders is the only one that matters don't @ me thanks

cute

its numale core

who the fuck wants a pet? get a girlfriend or some fish or something

'pet people' are always fucking faggots

>mfw someone is so bored they pretend to be me, an Anonymous character

there's a study that shows people with pets tend to be happier and more sane than people without

@76
a fish is a pet you ignoramus

Unlike you, I'm actually apart of /brit/. I'm a regular around here. Of course my status matters

how is a fish not soy but a dog soy
you still have to take care of them

>faggots
*woopwoop*
oh dear, the yank alarm's going off

Deary me some of you

if you own a pet I assume your house stinks of piss and shit and you are completely unaware

proud of you sweetie

shan't be opening this
doesn't look toilsafe at all

fuck off yank

This is what I'm going to have to resort to to get replies if you don't reply to my history posts

My place currently smells of "ocean" because that's the oil I put in this thing last night. Why don't we use these anyway? They smell really nice.

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life has improved tenfold since i've left /brit/ even if the quality of the threads has objectively worsened by the same amount without my presence

pitiable cunts the lot of you

extremely likely cuck yank is also emma yank is also history yank and for this none of them will get (you)s from i

yet here you are

clearly haven't left /brit/ though haven't you

Thanks desu. That wasn't me though

Today's birthday:
1728 – John Stark, American general

As a teenager, he was captured by Abenaki warriors.

He was made to run a gauntlet of warriors armed with sticks. Stark grabbed the stick from the first warrior's hands and proceeded to fight off the rest of the warriors.The chief was so impressed that Stark was adopted into the tribe.

At the outbreak of the Revolution, George Washington immediately offered Stark a command in the Continental Army.

After serving with distinction throughout the rest of the war, Stark retired to his farm in Derryfield, where he died on May 8, 1822 at the age of 93.

It has been said that of all the Revolutionary War generals, Stark was the only true Cincinnatus because he truly retired from public life at the end of the war.

His motto was "Live free or die." The motto Live Free or Die became the New Hampshire state motto in 1945.

you are a sad act

copying text from wikipedia is not (you) worthy. be creative.

i reckon at least 60% of "unique" yank posters are in fact schizoid yank who encompasses many of /brit/'s yank personalities

sure there is
a fish just isnt as soy. its clean, doesn't smell, it's more of a patricians hobby than 'pet' really

is he backtracking and pretending to be another person lmao

remember the schizo scotaboo nonce yank

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lol good one thailad

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ye

prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-study-finds-dogs-make-people-better-happier-and-healthier-humans-300364359.html

not even the only one. there are hundreds upon hundreds of other websites saying the exact same thing.

why did you just pretend like you didn't post those?

dogs and cats aren't inherently soy and neither are fish unless you get some tiny yappy dogs and name one Rick and the other Morty
then that's soy

I want to tongue Emma Watson’s ass crack.

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i didn't

thailad listens to reggae

Honestly find it hilarious this lad is trying to convince himself of what is and isn't soy

No one gives a shit just relax mate

ye

yeah there are studies that say letting your wife fuck other men is good too
nah thats true but a lot of pet owners are 'pet people' and that is without a doubt soytier

if you're one of them people who "omg i can watch cartels behead ppl but if u hurt this poor doggyyy i cry" then you're a 'pet person' and a faggot

Nanannana Soyman!
hop in your wife's soymobile and fuck off

youtu.be/Ry8_NdNKq-w

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degenerate weed smoking stoner cunt

Today in history:
1350 – Battle of Winchelsea

Throughout the early part of Edward III's reign, pirates from northern Spain had been raiding English communications with their territories in Gascony.

Don Carlos de la Cerda, a member of a branch of the Castilian royal family, captured several English ships and threw the crews overboard.

On 10 August, while the King was at Rotherhithe, he announced his intention of attacking the Castilians. Edward had good sources of intelligence in Flanders and knew the composition of De la Cerda's fleet.

As well as the King, two of Edward's sons sailed with the fleet to wreck vengeance on the Spanish.

The king was sitting on the deck of his ship, with his knights and nobles, listening to his minstrels playing German airs. When the look-out in the tops reported the enemy in sight, the king and his company drank to one another's health, the trumpet was sounded, and the whole line stood out.

The Black Prince of Wale's ship was holed in several places and was beginning to sink when the Earl of Derby came alongside in his own ship. The old crusader called out “Derby to the rescue!”—since he was also the Earl of Derby—and boarded the Spanish vessel.

The clifftops near Winchelsea were lined with spectators which gave the battle its name.

By nightfall, the English had sunk most of the Spanish fleet. Edward and his fleet anchored at Winchelsea and Rye. The King and his sons conscripted horses from the town and road the two English leagues to the convent where Philippa and her ladies were awaiting news of the battle. They all spent the night in revelry, recounting tales of the battle.

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All this time I thought the meme was Despatico and I just learnt that it's actually Despacito
Doesn't sound as funny in my head anymore

I don't smoke weed anymore

weed means tobacco here

no it doesn't
be quiet

Today in history:
Charles and Diana divorce

After four years of separation, Charles, Prince of Wales and heir to the British throne, and his wife, Princess Diana, formally divorce.

On July 29, 1981, nearly one billion television viewers in 74 countries tuned in to witness the marriage of Prince Charles, heir to the British throne, to Lady Diana Spencer, a young English schoolteacher. Married in a grand ceremony at St. Paul’s Cathedral in the presence of 2,650 guests, the couple’s romance was, for the moment, the envy of the world. Their first child, Prince William, was born in 1982, and their second, Prince Harry, in 1984.

Before long, however, the fairy tale couple grew apart, an experience that was particularly painful under the ubiquitous eyes of the world’s tabloid media. Diana and Charles announced a separation in 1992, though they continued to carry out their royal duties. In August 1996, two months after Queen Elizabeth II urged the couple to divorce, the prince and princess reached a final agreement. In exchange for a generous settlement, and the right to retain her apartments at Kensington Palace and her title of “Princess of Wales,” Diana agreed to relinquish the title of “Her Royal Highness” and any future claims to the British throne.

In the year following the divorce, the popular princess seemed well on her way to achieving her dream of becoming “a queen in people’s hearts,” but on August 31, 1997, she was killed with her companion Dodi Fayed in a car accident in Paris. An investigation conducted by the French police concluded that the driver, who also died in the crash, was heavily intoxicated and caused the accident while trying to escape the paparazzi photographers who consistently tailed Diana during any public outing.

Prince Charles married his longtime mistress, Camilla Parker Bowles, on April 9, 2005.

Today's birthday:
Elizabeth Ann Bayley

On this day in 1774, Elizabeth Ann Bayley is born in New York City. She went on to found the first Catholic school and the first female apostolic community in the United States. She was also the first American-born saint beatified by the Roman Catholic Church.

Elizabeth Ann Bayley was born to an eminent physician, Richard Bayley, who served as the first health officer of New York City. Her mother, Catherine, was an Episcopal minister’s daughter who died before Elizabeth’s third birthday, leaving three daughters. Her father remarried and had four additional children. At age 19, Elizabeth married a wealthy shipping magnate, William Magee Seton, with whom she had five children in quick succession. Seton’s health deteriorated after his financial holdings collapsed and he died of tuberculosis in Italy shortly before the couple’s 10th anniversary. Elizabeth’s eldest daughter followed her father to the grave nine years later.

Following these traumas, Elizabeth, who was raised an Episcopalian, received her first Holy Communion and became a Roman Catholic on March 25, 1805. Seton taught in order to support her family and believed in free education for all children, male and female. In pursuit of this goal, she founded the nation’s first Catholic school in Baltimore, which had been the capital of the Catholic colony of Maryland. The school, St. Joseph’s Academy and Free School, would eventually become part of Mount Saint Mary’s University.

In 1809, Seton took vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, along with the moniker “Mother Seton.” She then founded the Sisters of Charity of St. Joseph, also in Maryland. Her efforts to establish Catholic institutions in the new United States, protected by the Bill of Rights’ guarantee of freedom of religion, saw her beatified in 1963, and canonized in 1975. Seton Hall University in New Jersey was named in her honor.

someone fucking reply to me already

Ole Chuck wishes he were Camilla’s tampons.

you utter tit

shut the fuck up

fuck off newfag. /brit/ used to love me

Also on this day:
Union General Alfred Terry is promoted from brigadier general to major general of the United State Volunteers.

A native of Connecticut, Terry studied law and became a clerk of the New Haven Superior Court before the war.

He was a colonel in the Second Connecticut when the war began, and his regiment fought at the First Battle of Bull Run, Virginia, in July 1861. Terry and his regiment fought at Port Royal, South Carolina, in the fall of 1861.

He spent the next two and a half years fighting along the southern coast. For his service, he was promoted to brigadier general and given temporary command of the captured Fort Pulaski in Georgia.

At the end of 1863, Terry was assigned to General Benjamin Butler’s Army of the James. He participated in the early stages of the siege of Petersburg, Virginia, before his promotion to major general, and assumed temporary command of the Tenth Corps when General David Birney died of malaria.

At the end of 1864, Terry participated in an attempt to capture Fort Fisher in North Carolina, a stronghold that protected the approach to Wilmington, the Confederacy’s most important blockade-running port.

Led by General Benjamin Butler, the expedition was a dismal failure. General-in-chief Ulysses S. Grant was so disappointed with Butler that he removed him from command and placed Terry in charge of the next attempt. In January 1865, Terry teamed with Admiral David Porter to make another attempt on Fort Fisher. Porter’s ships shelled the fort, and Terry led nearly 10,000 troops on multiple attacks that effected a surrender by the Confederate garrison inside.

grim

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Need Emma Watson to hunch down and drop a smelly log of shit right on my face.

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I remember when I used to be bluepilled. About 14-17 years old. In fact I remember looking at like early forms of info-graphics about conspiracies when I was like 12 years old so this must have been 2004 or something like that. I always knew something wasn't right with the world even at that young age.

Life was so much easier and I was so much happier when I was 'carefree' and bluepilled. Bluepilled is the default state since it allows you to live without restriction. You're not bound by any rules because you don't know anything (usually), it's a weird state where everything is just "ok fuck it why not"

Wish I was still bluepilled sometimes. I'd probably be happier for it, even if unaware and naive, shallow, etc...

>I remember when I used to be bluepilled. About 14-17 years old. In fact I remember looking at like early forms of info-graphics about conspiracies when I was like 12 years old so this must have been 2004 or something like that. I always knew something wasn't right with the world even at that young age.
>Life was so much easier and I was so much happier when I was 'carefree' and bluepilled. Bluepilled is the default state since it allows you to live without restriction. You're not bound by any rules because you don't know anything (usually), it's a weird state where everything is just "ok fuck it why not"
>Wish I was still bluepilled sometimes. I'd probably be happier for it, even if unaware and naive, shallow, etc...

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toil soon

based and redpilled

absolutely vile

Now that I think Emma Poster/Scilian/gimmick stealer is gone to bed...

This day in history:
1756 – Frederick the Great attacks Saxony, beginning the Seven Years' War in Europe.

Austria and France, traditional enemies, allied together in the Diplomatic Revolution of 1756. Realising that war was imminent, Prussia pre-emptively struck Saxony and quickly overran it.

The result caused uproar across Europe.

British hastily concluded a similar pact with Frederick the Great of Prussia hoping it would forestall a major European war by maintaining the European balance of power.

The war's extent has led some historians to describe it as "World War Zero", similar in scale to other world wars. It involved every European great power of the time and spanned five continents.

French efforts ended in failure, and Britain's rise as among the world's predominant powers destroyed France's supremacy in Europe. Prussia went into the 19th century as a major European power.

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Yeah mate just drop us off near the chippie

unironically this

If you could drop me off at the Chip Marché that would be grand