/brit/

A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!"

Gerry Adams was never a member of the lRA

>they're probably incels, theyll take anything
>Most incels only want to date 10/10 models

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Me this morning
Fucked it

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for what reason lad

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

and why are we making fun of our muslim paki PM now? isn't this supposed to be repressive?

That’s what the song is about you fucking brainlet

spend all last night doing vile twisted fiendish little poos

Feel the stomach a brewin'
Already got the shits from last night's hotpot and now just added a milk tea to the mix
It's been nice knowing you lads

neurotypical brainlets can't even keep their strawming consistent

any weetabix gang in?

he's one of the most based people in history

I call it 'Modern Man'

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the GOAT series

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hi

not wanked in over a day

What I like about the French proto gf are little things like talking about how naff it is, young people who are into bdsm nowadays. A Thai or Anglo proto would never get it.

Anyone remember that funny Southern fella what would tell us jokes upon vocaroo.com that's vocaroo dot com?

You must be looking for /eire/ lad, it's two doors down, listen for the gay anime voices

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what song? sorry pooskin i don't listen to wog babble

why? I only know he made 1 semi-well known song

sauce?

Got chicken from a shop that was hygiene rated 2 last night

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I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

i never said they only want 10/10 models so that doesnt work mate

cope some more virgin

Good lad, zero calories cause you shit it out fast innit?

Just your average boring 19 year old girl

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who ate all the chicken LOL

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The song is called Stop Killing The Mandem you turbocretin

Had a nose bleed and wet dream last night, not at the same time of course.

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enjoy your e.coli and semen

good lad

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

me and the lads x

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That's a good one mate. What I like about these jokes is of course the punchlines but more importantly the absurd, carefree universe they paint in which the brother is so naive as to not notice that they're having sex or find it weird that they make sandwiches in bed. Sometimes real life is a bit like this universe, especially in Thailand, and it's good.

virgin freak

It's fine
I've eaten at plenty of unhappy face places and only had shits for a total of maybe a month of the year I've been here

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Absolute state of the w*st

reddit.com/r/pics/comments/103zq5/i_always_wear_a_kilt_because_im_celtic_im_french
having a gander

Had a dream my cousin leaned across the table and kissed me at a large family dinner. Deeply disturbing.

kind of wish i was a kid again. to go back to a state of innocence and curiosity about the world.
:(

Gerry Adams was never a member of the IRA

absolutely neolithic photo
no wonder reddit is picking it up just now

made several consistent albums with ces gens-là being his masterpiece and one of the greatest albums of all time, and as a person he was incredibly based, just watch any interview with him. he was also very influential, influencing the likes of bowie, scott walker and many others
i love him and he should make you proud to be belgian

that was posted 5 years ago
>just now
hmm

As long as it's food that's gone through a high heat preparation I'm fine with it

How slutty are western women?

Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A: Santa stops after three hos.

being a kid sucks because you have no liberty compared to an adult
people who want to be a child again just want someone else to make all the decisions for them
>reading reddit posts
grim AND dire

dude im a virign its all womens fault

no ive never been to the gym no why would i? looks are in the face only bro if u dont look like a model you will be a virgin forever

no i dont trial and error and work on social skills whats the point i dont have a model face...and im fat and its not my fault

no i cant talk to women because i have social anxiety and also i spend all day watching cartoon interacial midget cuckold porn and yeah this is nothng to do with my self esteem problems no

also yeah i refuse to do anything and instead just blame women because its easier and duh im going to take the path of least resistance because im a born loser but i probably could change but i refuse to put effort in

its all womens fault they r fucking whores!!! but not with me

i don't know, but they all have black boyfriends now

uve got it kinda backwards, people want to be a kid again so they have no responsibilities

CHANG

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*makes a post*

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A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

quick thinking einstein, no one will suspect your brainletism

Changing the bed sheets now, some of the nosebleed blood ended up on them.

This can’t be true right

*giggles

oh wow neurotypical you are still going on, how are you so triggered

When Liz croaks how long do you think it will take people to get used to singing god Save the King instead?

the future is 100 million chinese elites ruling over 10 billion african serfs

other races will be only be found in zoos

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"

alri i'm off to watch some of his interviews then :)

you forget PAJEET

it is, i see interracial couples everyday

>I

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that sucks though
bet these people are socialist-democrat types too

virgin freak
you lose

you can say anything you want but you lose automatically lol

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"

Never, because we'll be singing the Republican anthem.

Why are you so fucking liberal m8

it's not that. it's just everything seems new and interesting. not being as pessimistic about everything at that age.

how can a person be so twisted?

3.5 seconds

Excellent satire of the virgin freak line of though that is so prevalent these days. I'd push the analysis a bit further and say it's all because of yanks. They have a tenancy to take anything, ANYTHING, to an absurd extreme. Example Pic related. I can't exactly put a name on it but that's the most noticeable trait of the American spirit to me.

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Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

>tfw in the year 2147 Chinese scientists try desperately to breed whites in captivity but the males refuse to in favour of videogames

>its a henning makes a subtle holohoax joke but nobody understands it because brits are too fucking dumb episode

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women prefer large penis over small and average ones apparently

where's 190

>he didn't get signed up to an F1 eSports team

shan't be reading this reddit spaced post

*vomits profusely*

chuff bare cigs
down nuff pints
shag mad slags

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Probably sleeping considering he was here late last night.

nah its a people problem
its a social media phenomenon too probably
echo chambers create whirlpools of bullshit basically

thats what the incels on r9k do. they all egg eachother on to be more of a loser who accepts it. if one of them tries to fix themself they have memes made specifically for that or theyll call him a 'normie' or w.e. to try drag him back down

its overuse of the internet as well as other shit like self esteem issues

but people in general find the extremes of everything, the internet just made the process faster maybe

so post the link you runt