>be me
>be 21
>strong depression leads to social isolation
>lost all friends, all interaction
>be 22
>start drinking and going out at night like a creep just to stay in the dark
>be 23
>start hearing voices, severe nightmares and false awakenings
>go out, everything feels not real
>feel weak, blurry, lots of voices in my head talking at the same time
> can't focus on anything, go to home and stay in bed, drink till sleep
what future do I have
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And no answers. It's like you're a ghost.
Like pottery.
What the fuck is "tried reading"?
You want to read, pick up a book, read a couple of pages, brainfog takes over, give up.
sounds like my life
all you can do is engage in as little emotionally stimulating activities as possible and become a walking corpse on autopilot
What? Everyone in the modern world can read. Unless you have some kind of dyslexia,
Yes, it's not that you cannot read.
It's more about the motivation, you want to get into a book but it's just too much of a hassle so you give up straight away.
.
>you give up straight away
You make it sound like reading a book is some kind of a challenge, and not a basic human activity.
have you visited a doctor?
the voices in my head are just like real friends, they just comment on everything I do and keep shitting on me on my life except they don't do it at my back. sometimes they don't stop talking and i have to stop them, just wear some plug in device in the ear so people think you're talking in the phone
>You make it sound like reading a book is some kind of a challenge
>and not a basic human activity
case and point
Wait, are westerners really think of reading books as an achievement? What is wrong with you?
No, but reading is too much of a hassle for me at least.
Outisde from educational reading i literally can't sit through a book, it's impossible
>get a book
>read first page
>fuck, this is just so boring
>read second page
>this is getting unbearable
>third page
>that's it *closes book*
for me at least
y me fui hasta la playa
para ver lo que pasaba
y te estuve persiguiendo
comprobando si era cierto
lo que todos
me decian
sobre ti....
23 is a weird ride my fellow ‘95er
>can't sit through a book, it's impossible
Sorry, I can't understand that. You either interested in a book and then you read it, or you are not interested and then you drop it and read something you want to read.
porque nunca pasa nada
nada es como esperaba
cada vez que intento hacerlo
apareces justo en medio,
y salto por los aires
cuanto planearé...
So find an interesting book.
>be me
>15
>start hanging out with the "tough" kids and smoking, get bullied by them but act like it doesnt affect me
>16
>hang out with nicer people, spend the entire summer drinking every weekend and having fun, have a gf for a short while
>17
>academic results completelly shit, skip classes constantly, wasting years of school
>18
>become an alien with no friends
>19
>around here i start spending 6+ hours/day on the computer to fill the void
>20
>by this ponit ive smoked weed daily non-stop for nearly 3 years
>lung collapses and i have to go to the hospital and get surgery
>decide to quit weed and smoking completelly
>21
>move to britain for 2 months hoping to start my life from scratch
>end up spending 2 months almost completelly alone without making any friends, a bit traumatic
>22
>buy my first car, the gypsies that sold it were lying about a lot of stuff and i have to spend 1k in repairs
>23
>get back to smoking weed daily because i have literally nothing going on with my life
Sounds like me now. I had depression last year, when i was 22, now i'm just not interested in anything and just "existing"
stop being an autist
years of spending time on the computer lead them to be unable to concentrate on even the most miniscule things such as reading, they need instant gratification in order to be entertained
Do you struggle with reading too? What about brushing your teeth or walking? Is that hard for you as well?
I spend more time on the computer than they did.
it is for me unironically
when i go for /nightwalks/ i unironically look like a mentally ill, i forgot how to naturally walk and i look robot
you are a strong man with a willpower of an ox because of your ruski genes, they are just depressed western betas
>willpower of an ox
I wish. I'm a 26yo NEET.
It's not hard to read a book that interests you.
Don't you even work? Are you rich?
I left my last work 1.5 years ago. I still have some money to spend on things, but no, I'm not rich.
What did you do for a living?
>money to spend things
Like, after 1.5 year you have money for that?
>What did you do for a living?
I was an engineer.
>after 1.5 year you have money for that?
Yes. I don't spend much and rarely go outside.
I suffer the same shit just with video games now. Playing a game is not hard and it should be fun but I'll play a brand new game for like an hour and exit out and never play it again. I don't even suffer from any of this doomer shit and I have a pretty good life.
>I don't even suffer from any of this doomer shit and I have a pretty good life.
sure that's why you're here, because you have a decent life
kek
Where do you live? Probably some shithole.
>Probably some shithole.
Yeap, Novosibirsk.
That is a big shithole. I always thought of novosiba as a big city with lots of people, but not a lot of places to go or culturally improve yourself
Become a mystic.
You seem to have made a start [spoiler]unlike me ;_;[/spoiler]
>culturally improve yourself
What is that suppose to mean?
why did you quit?
Enrich yourself, i meant. You know, historical sites, architecture, museums, etc. Like in Moscow or Petersrburg or any European bigger city.
Low salary, shitty conditions and it was boring as hell. I wanted to find another job, but my anxiety took other me. Now I feel like everything is lost and I can't fix anything.
why not move somewhere else?
>historical sites, architecture, museums
You can study it all without even leaving your house. It's not like you magically become a better person when you step in a museum.
i hate when you normies ask these kind of stupid questions like if you were 4 year olds
For that, I need to get more job experience first. So I need a new job. And I'm too scared of failure so I don't reply to vacancies.
I hate when you autists whine on the internet about how shit your life is without ever doing anything to try and fix it
suicide is the only real solution, other things are just self lying and pretending
suicide is the answer only if you are in immense physical pain with no possible way to fix it, stop being delusional
>only physical pain is real
t. brad chad "the normie" jackson
Well, there is truth in his words. Suicide is an ultimate solution to any problem.
Hve you tried being yourself?
I was depressed for 8 years, contemplated suicide few times, then I managed to get it under control with the help of my friends and now i'm happy, don't be so hopeless
It is, but there are better solutions
>with the help of my friends
Oh you.
fake it til you make it
There's plenty of regular people on here. I first came here 10 years ago as a loner in high school. I'm a total normalfag boomer now.
>having friends
>awww i was sooo duhprussd
>life is blyatiful now believe me
>i am happy I AM HAPPY
you will kill yourself too in a few years
Let your persona perish then you will find yourself at the end point. But just care of your health condition.
How can you fake having friends?
you fake being happy, outgoing and social, obtain friends and then once you get their trust, you unload your mental baggage on them.
If you picked the right people, they'll help you
>obtain friends
How?
get a hobby, meet people with the same hobby and talk to them, it's not that hard
don't fall for the normie lies
their "solution" is lying to yourself trying to eventually be fooled by yourself at being happy
you'll never achieve real hapiness
It is hard and always was hard for me.
life is hard, you need to get used to it
I don't even want happiness. I just want to have some kind of a life.
>what future do I have
What were your hobbies?
volleyball classes in college
>sports in a college
You are such a normie, you disgust me. Why do you bother even browsing Jow Forums then? Probably a tallfag too.
>lying to yourself trying to eventually be fooled by yourself at being happy
Happiness is a state of mind. There is no such thing as real or fake happiness. It's chemicals. If you "fool your brain" that you're happy, you're happy.
People aren't filled with checklists to achieve the real true happiness. Feelings are feelings. It's not "omg too late im 21 i missed the traaain of liife", you have a long time left in this world, either you keep being a pathetic self-defeating cunt or you make a concious effort to be better.
I know man. Social queues suck when you're not in the "in". Being the stranger sucks. This'll be your battlefield though. Only you can overcome it for you.
Don't let envy poison you. Volleyball is a nice hobby. Board games can be a nice hobby. Reading can be a nice hobby.
Don't be the toxic guy, that's the guy ending up sad and lonely.
Doubt it. Our retarded government has increased IRPF for high incomes to 52%, the companies that are in Spain are leaving asap.
I was an autistic shut in before I joined, it changed my life completely
>Probably a tallfag too
i'm 173 cm, not even attractive
I envy, because i suck at volleyball and considering it was a main sport in my school - even worse. Plus, i really don't see any of the sports as watchable and interesting so i can't have a discussion on the last goad and transfers either.
user, I suck at it too, I just play it for fun
Yeah, but people are foten too serious about team games, at least it was like that in my cunt.
I wanna try dancing lessons, maybe i'll like it.
>user describes typical progression to schizophrenia
>anons argue about being happy or sad
go to hospital
>people are foten too serious about team games
yeah, depends on the people you play with
>I wanna try dancing lessons, maybe i'll like it.
go ahead, you can always try something else if you don't like it
Damn that's really a retarded move.
Here we have a good economic phase with unemployment going down right now and the government just gave companies tax cuts because they want them to be able to employ even more people.
this
>conservative values
Yeah that's going to be a yikes from me.
>get diagnosed with schizophrenia
>get free money every month
>take your pills
>live the rest of your life as a comfy NEET
you're a schizo, either get some help or kill yourself before you become a danger to others
Bro i have been kicked out at the age of 21 the last 5 years i have worked, stole lied etc just to have the worst roof on the city over my head. Stop being a faggot. If u live close to me we can get a few beers.
I also have eternal dialogue and banter myself . Just chill.
Hahah tje litle baby colapsed and 3 years of non stop smoking weed?
Bitch i smoke 2 bars of haxixe per day for the last 10 years my body i smoke much more then i eat. Every day even before a glass of water i smoke a solo joint.
I hate myself and want to die but i still hate faggots like you
How many of y'all have read this?
>23
>Lost youth
What the fuck are you even on about, you fucking moron? You haven't realy entered real life at 23 yet.
You are not going for high income are you?
>zoomers thinking their life is finished at 23
lmao
Is Novosibirsk really that bad?
I always wanted to live there for a few weeks or a couple of months, just to see the shittier part of Russia..
inb4 go to Ingushetia
who else /comfy desk job at 22/ here
>desk job
>comfy
hit a bit close to home
>just to see the shittier part of Russia
Novosibirsk is not that bad. It's just relatively new so there is no historical stuff and fancy architecture. It's not an ultimate shithole.
>lost youth
>23
lmao
but it is