/cum/

Waving like a snek (snek)

My dong it does a shake (snek)

Wiggle wiggle goes the dong (dong dong)

Shake and bake inside my shlong (dong dong)

Or maybe is it?

Could it be?

That I have taken LSD?

OH yes sir. Please? Won't you stay and have some brie? And just look here, I've got some tea. Please meet Peter, Anne, and Pee.

Oh hey there guys, hello again Pee. My name is Harry, pleased to meet.

Sit down Harry! Let's have a chat? Ever hear of the fifteen year old bat?

Don't believe I have. I only have this ham in shape of ram.

The ram ham is good! A splendid ham indeed. Oh now look, here's my friend Steve!

Hello Steve! How do you do?

I'm good and thanks, so how bout you?

Oh I'm very nice today. Thanks for asking. It's nice to be asked.

(snek)

So now Steve, where ya come from?

Here and there, you know the deal

(dong dong)

Steve I can't help but feel...

Your massive shlong?

(DONG DONG DONG)

Steve how did you..

It was me all along! I am the shlong! The moral of the story is DING DING DONG

Broadcast brought to you by a strange smelly man on who knows how much LSD. Thanks for tuning in. Goodbye now.

How do I stop having an incel mentality? I don't know how else to think if I'm not conventionally attractive, 5'7", and a virgin

Attached: 1538526716150.jpg (540x404, 22K)

Get out and talk with people
A couple minutes of small talk here and there will work wonders on your mental state

God I wish I had a bigger backyard

I haven't been able to take a proper sized shit in days, I just take some pathetically small one in the morning and then spend the rest of the day with bad gas and mild stomach cramps
I think it has something to do with the dried seaweed snacks I've been eating, last time I bought them I remember this happening too

nigga u crazy

bb get a douche

>3 of my cousins are married to black women

will I succumb to the dark side??

Attached: nervous pepe.png (646x595, 280K)

dey gay

drink water

How many times per day should I masturbate?

once or twice

0

>daughter just broke my mug
Well shucks

break her arm

No

awful parenting

beat her up

go away

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This was first why did everyone post in the another thread

Iktfb

I [24f] have been dating this new guy [26m] for the past 3 months and it's been going swimmingly. He's charming, funny, not a slob (important), we click, yada yada. The sex is also passionate and usually really good. His head game is on point and I reciprocate often. When giving him a blowjob he is vocal, which can't be said for many guys.

There is only one issue. He has a very "memey" sense of humor, which I generally enjoy. When I'm going down on him, he'll squirm and moan, but will only say variants of

Give me the succ
She succ me

She succ me through my boxers

She succ me with no clothes on

Succ baby succ

I get the succ

All aboard the succ train

How to get the succ

I'm like the Zucc but I get more succ

60 minutes of succ

Succy succy long time

Fat succ

She want to fucc but first she succ

Damn she fine when she succ

Deep succ

She succ me to Mars

She succ me to Antarctica

She succ me underground

Gimme dat first-class succ

She got a masters in succ

She got a PhD in succ

Succ as a second language

Suh Succ me like a hungry baby

Succ me into an existential crisis

Gimme dat succ-out-of-jail-free card

Succ at a 100

The first rule of succ club is give me the succ

I swear this is all he will say. If you don't believe me, I failed nearly every creative writing class in high school so there is no way I could've come up with all that shit. At first I thought it was the funniest thing on the planet. It's still funny. But it's hard to do my job when I can't stop cracking up. It's getting to the point where I can't really give him oral anymore because I start cackling even before we begin.
I kind of want him to stop because it's getting old, but then he will pull out some new outlandish phrase and grin devilishly as I struggle to pleasure him without choking on my own laughter. It's interfering with our foreplay a this point.

why are morons making new threads instead of posting in this one

because your edition a shit