Co-worker is on it again

This OP, laxatives or rat poison

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LSD

Slit his throat

Can you beat this guy in a fight?

Display anger at him and make a fuss. If he's up to childish pranks, he'll be receptive to being truly angry at.
You can also do shit of similar nature. Prepare to suffer from the consequences of an asymmetric results due to social status differences, as he'll try to implement the first point, and he will be most likely listened to.

This is how you make it

It's a test, to figure out who is who's bitch
Guess who is winning so far?
Pro tip, it ain't you
You got three options
1. Cry to hr like a bitch and be known a faggot that got fun guy Dave fired for some soft workplace banter.
2. Step up your game and prank him back harder and show your dominance.
3. Suck it up and accept Dave owns you and offer to do his work for him, you are a manlet anyway so he's clearly superior.

before work everyday stick your finger up your arse and wipe it all around his cutlery and coffee cup, it wont be long before he needs time off sick

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Prank him by fucking his wife

I lol'd but this is actually decent advice. I worked at a personal injury firm for years and people got paid for way less. Don't actually commit fraud but really even if he doesn't hit you and you flinch it's assault if you had a reasonable belief that he might hit you. If you actually were injured in your response of jumping backward, the company would be liable for damages.

Again, don't commit fraud, but IF you hurt your head/neck/back your workers comp claim would be bigger.