You have 1000$ and 1 week to prepare for homelessness. How do you spend the 1000$?

Dead too.

If homelessness is genuinely the only option here, I would do one or both of the following:

>1. Buy a cheap used car. Doesnt have to be pretty. Just has to run and be big enough to at least keep your shit it and rest. Ideally i would get a van or a truck with a bed topper so i can create a sleeping are.

>2. Buy an inexpensive firearm. For $200 you can buy a cheap used pistol and some ammo. Preferably something with a thumb safety or a revolver (leave the first chamber empty). If you have to sleep on the street especially if youre not familiar with doing it, then you could have another bum try tp take your shit...pieces of shit may try to roll you while youre sleeping. Stray dogs can get you while youre sleeping. Be prepared

>optional. If i had money left over you better believe im buying some cheap booze cuz fuck being homeless sober

Good luck hypothetical vagabond

unironically kill myself.

:(

One or two close friends that are like family?

I just step outside. What do I need preparation for?
Why do I need to spend these 1000$, I am homeless, I am freer than the majority of wage cucks.

> Sign up for welfare (Pretty easy here)
> Sign up for homeless social benefits (free food, shower, assistance, health care)

I'll use some money to pay my gym membership but that's about it.
Stay in my own city, become a stoic roaming the streets.
Being homeless can be comfy if you aren't seriously mentally ill.
Also pretty impossible to be homeless where I live, you'll get a free apartment pretty fast (#haileurope)

Becoming homeless is probably one step upwards from my current situation where I am in limbo grasping for options.

Best friend is homeless too.

upboat for this. I've been trying to play this mind game with my friends for ages but none of them was in the right state of mind for it.
I would:
>buy a tent, sleeping bag and isolation mattress and stuff that's gonna keep me warm and dry during night/winter
>buy Swiss army knife
>a few meters of rope
>cup and two bowls made of stainless steel
>Bunsen burner
>Ukulele because everybody needs a little fun when he's homeless
>medi pack filled with basics of painkillers, antibiotics and wound compressions and stuff
>some philosophical books helping me to cope with my situation
>strong boots which can last more than a year
>a foldable shovel maybe?
>maybe even a bike with saddle bags, because what's the point in being homeless if you're not at least a bit mobile?
Interested what other anons got to say

user i am too sheltered with potential safety nets for this scenario

>What do I need preparation for
not getting murdered or freezing to death

>free homeless food

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Most of this would get stolen off you your first night

>impossible to be homeless where I live
where do you live?

You get shelter, its free.
Within 2-3 month you probably have your own apartment.
All you need to do is walk into social services office and explain them your situation.
If it checks out you have people fighting over you because THEY need a job; which is helping homeless people get back on their feet.

No, free regular food from supermarket across the street. Where anyone not homeless also buys their food.
"Homeless food" is only a thing if you are a substance abuser and government believes you have no chances in life.

Netherlands, people probably will say "no it isn't impossible, I see homeless people every day". but I have worked as a social worker right out of school.
The only people who are actually homeless here are the ones who fuck up every chance at the government trying to help them.
Mostly junkies, people with serious mental illnesses or very low IQ.

>very low IQ
How low? I'm a brainlet, need to know.

If you can't keep a sequence of 5 random numbers in your head for longer than 30 seconds your brainlet status may apply.

Laziest stupid thread ever.
$1,000 and a week should buy you time to get your hustle on and get busy making enough to not be homeless.

Work jobs, multiple jobs, while living in a dump hotel.

If you’re not mentally ill there’s no reason to be homeless. Anyone who is homeless but not mentally ill or addicted to drugs is homeless because they think it’s eadier than working. Either that or they are raging assholes nobody wants in their lives (living with a relative or sleeping on a buddy’s couch is not homeless).

So pool your resources. Also safety in numbers. This being biz i will tell you to spwnd some time learning how to make money. You could do the odd jobs situation. Whatever you choose to do I would begin learning how stock markets work and find the cheapest method of making trades in your (for USA thats Robinhood). Stocks are the best and easiest way to turn any amount of money into more money. Not crypto because crypto is all speculation. Stocks have intrinsic value based on the business.

Whatever you decide to do in the short term, take the next year or 2 to really learn stocks. Learn how to value a company. How to read income statement, cash flow and balance sheet. Check out Preston Pysh on youtube. He has a serious of how to trade like Warran Buffett. Great for beginers and he teaches how to find the true value of a company. I wish i had convinced myself to research this a decade ago when i was nearly homeless myself. I would be a millionaire now. As it is im about a 3rd of the way there.

Theres no easier way to turn a little bit of money into a lot of money and there are always people that trade that have no idea what theyre doing so theres no shortage of people willing to be on the bad end of a trade. If you commit to really doing it you could become a seriously good trader in a year and spend $0. You can even create hypothetical portfolios on Invesring.com and other sites to test your knowledge without risking money. If you were to show a hedge fund your personal trading history and knowledge after a year, with no schooling or experience, i guarantee someone would take a flyer on you. Because hedge funds want people that perform. Or do it yourself. Harder but possible.

>Stocks
no robinhood in europe

Invest $750 of it in crypto.

The remaining $250 will be rationed for food, but any free food sources will be checked first to stretch it longer.

Every day I'd spend reading the news and charts, swing trading my meager stack and trying to scout out as many short term rockets as possible by being hyper organized. I mean what else am I going to do but look at charts all day, I'm fucking homeless.

Then as my portfolio grows past $10k, I've given myself the ability to leak out additional lump sums of $250 as needed through bitcoin ATMs. This gives me better food with better energy which gets better results.

This grows my portfolio to $50k an lets me start to leak out $500 lump sums semi regularly through bitcoin ATMs. I can now afford living in a hostel a few days a week, which gives me access to showers, coffee and people. This makes me feel more energized, which gets even better results.

This grows my portfolio to $100k and I can now afford to leak out lump sums of $1000 semi regularly. I'm living in the hostel full time now, have friends, food, and clean water. I'm killing it in the market and some earlier speculative buys have been paying off well which gives me more capital to start diving into more prospective buys.

This grows my portfolio to $1 million. I can now afford to leak out $200k and buy a house with cash in a rural area. I am no longer homeless and I have $800k in crypto to leak out lump sums of whatever I feel like in perpetuity.

Buy a $30 android phone, cheap monthly prepaid plan, cheap gym membership for showers, go to McDonald's and ask for a job

logical fallacy as preparing for homelessness seemingly excludes not becoming homeless by using the 1k
rent a room, get a job, starve yourself the 1st month so you could get through 2 if things get really bad

A $1000...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=9eOynoF5vFY

By the time hes ready to put money in it may be there. But either way there are cheap options

otherwise, like legit prepare to live outside, get a used military grade sleeping bag (100), a tent (100), self defense shit (100), phone plus prepaid (50?), a shirt, a pair of trousers, a pair of black shoes, (150)
you have 500 left to make it through the next 2 months. hobo cooker plus pot is what, 30?
now go look for dat free wifi and get a job asap
if no friends to shower at you need a gym membership for personal hygiene, because its a hustle to stay so clean that employers dont smell your desperation.

Thread theme right here....
When it's cold outside and you want to sleep in...
Go for a pallet that's so nice and thin.....
Zip it on around while it's on the ground....
Spread it out and lay it on down.....
Slip inside my sleeping bag!!!!!

This but replace crypto with stock. Theres a proven history of success in stocks. Crypto is like playing roullette. You may get rich but you are just as likely to lose your ass

keep that money, buy 1 link with it EOY

>Theres a proven history of success in stocks.

First rule of investing: past profits do not indicate future results.

We're 18-24 months away from a recession. at best. if it drags on we're within 36-48 months away from the second great depression.

Meanwhile until then you can expect what? 7% annual gains if you're lucky? you're homeless dude, you don't have time to sit around waiting for that to grow. you're either all in swinging for huge gains in a highly volatile market, or you'll be dead before you double your $750 in stocks.

this guy hobos

cool zero hedge brah
recession always "around the corner"

what's the point of a van if you can't afford the gas for it? not only that but a single break down and all you've got left is a jalopy you won't even be able to sell to break even.

just buy a used tent and sleeping bag for as cheap as you can, swing trade crypto and aim to have enough crypto gains to shack up in a hostel for the winter.

You can lock a van. A tent, not so much.

Best answer

Buy a gun so I can just be a nigger and rob people. And if I get caught I get free meals and my own room!

I would save it because a grand could go a long way. You could eat on that a few months if your careful.

>And if I get caught I get free meals and my own room!
And anal rape + aids

Also lots of butsex

0% chance of a recession before 2021 and I believe itll likely be more like 2025. Yes its "time" for a bear market. Yes every sector has a financial bubble right now. Yes personal and corporate debt is at ridiculius and frightening rates. But the market is all about consumer confidence. It would take a massive deliberate move to start a recession similar to run on money markets back in 2007 and only the elite can make that happen. No way in hell they would risk giving Trump a means or a reason to abolish the FED and theres no way he would implement QE as his criminal predecessor did. I was full on prepper mode in 2016 but the world got a reprieve when Trump got elected. Invest with no fear. DOW to 45k

And also to my original point i was telling him to learn about investing. The sooner you begin the better the chance youll be ready when that recession does come. When that shit bottoms out and the world panics, there is an opportunity to make a fuckton of money for those with the capital to buy at the dip.

If you don't have an income an apartment is not going to rent to you.
The worst thing about being homeless is other homeless people, and you would be putting yourself right in the middle

The only correct responses are to get a job and in the mean time live with a relative or at a hotel. You won't be getting a reliable van for under 1k

300 Euromillion lottery tickets

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cabelas.com/product/shooting/black-powder/black-powder-revolvers/pc/104792580/c/104701680/sc/567338580/pietta-model-confederate-navy-caliber-black-powder-revolver-with-starter-kit/740135.uts?slotId=3

You don't even need a permit

#MAGA

Past results don't equal future recession either. Economies are expansionary by nature. You will be burned

>homlessness

I live in a 1st world country we have welfare lol I can just get wageslaves to pay for me.

I was unemployed with $40,000 in the bank and had a hard time finding anyplace that would rent to me, even with offering to pay the entire fucking year cash up front.

Jews will be jews.

I get a cdl and drive this bus.

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$1000 worth of cocaine to do before jumping in front of a train

>It would take a massive deliberate move to start a recession similar to run on money markets back in 2007 and only the elite can make that happen.

it doesn't need to be deliberate at all. one black swan will cascade and begin popping every bubble like dominoes.

the problem is the economy is run by people who treat economics as a hard science when it clearly isn't. its built atop sociology so it can never itself be a true hard science. its this rigidity in thinking, and this old guard who cling to outdated views of economics that will end up destabilizing the whole system while telling everyone everything is fine and within expected ranges. it won't be for long.

i thought they gave out condoms in jail to prevent HIV?

Gamble it. If you are becoming homeless anyway you got nothing to loose. Put it all on some shitcoin with a proper set up chart, and then turn 1000 to 1100, rince and repeat it'll only take me 72 10% trades to turn 1000 into 1 million. The thing is can I do 72 trades in 1 week? I only need to really do 10 trades that would result in enough profit to not be homeless and continue the work. Also homeless people can get benefits from the GOV. Not sure how that works though... any Californians in here?

You really think a guy raping another guy cares about wearing a condom?

The homeless are being purged in America. Look around there disappearing.
After the collapse of 2008 many turned to the underworld and shadow banking (bitcoin extra.)
To many homeless to people not working the government feels there not efficient.
The prisons will be less, no social security to payout, no medical to payout, a stronger society emerges as the homeless are purged out.
American freedom is not free. Being different, having your own identity, free love like the 60s is not the trend since the Obama administration and it will only get worse.
Your best option is find a church that will take you in, conforming to there beliefs and religion. This way you can get back on your feet.
Hyper inflation is coming
Conform

Rent a room at a cheap hotel, buy some nice clothes, go get a fuckin job

I just put $1,200 in crypto a month ago now i have just $911 with out spending nothing sucks

>You have 1k and about to be homeless?
>Put 3/4 in crypto and prepare to be a millionaire since I'm gonna be such a crack shot trader

nice.

Golem and BitcoinPrivate are going up 10x by the end of July according to John Mcafee's tweet yesterday. His algorithms are never wrong. So invest that $1,000 dollars in either coin and you'll have $10,000 dollars in 9 weeks, if you can hang in there that long.

I'd buy shrimp
>ethershrimpfarm.net

The smartest answer in this entire thread
>tfw this saved the NEET

Damn, going to be in the same situation soon. What did you end up doing?

I have enough to buy the place outright but these cunts won't even rent it to me?

geta job u faget

Find a private landlord who owns the property not a property management landlord. They will be more likely to rent.

Or just go to an extended stay hotel until you find a job for proof of income

Wonder how I can prove "investment income"

Bank statements, retard

Yeah no, that won't work dumdum.

Will a $1000 get you a nice decent gun and skimask? If so, you know what you have to do user...

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Small piece of land ina bumblefuck woods so I have a respawn when kicked out of squats
knife
axe
hygiene amenities
water

Usually people who are unemployed with that kind of money are "high-risk" applicants. Maybe they don't want you peddling whatever you peddle there.

>> Ask parents
Parents are the reason OP is being kicked out. Haven't you been following the news about the uber NEET? Judge ruled he has to leave his parents home.