I really screwed up today, Jow Forums. Long story short:
>been reading Indian Kama Sutra books >supposedly the ultimate pleasure is to ejaculate, shit and sneeze at the same time >decide to finally try it out today at work because I have a long break ( 30 minutes ) >Buy a plant that I am allergic too >enter work toilet >sofarsogood.jpg >start waving the plant in front of my nose with my left hand while I masturbate with my right arm and take a shit at the same time, I am sitting on the toilet >while I squeeze out the shit my nose really starts to itch because of the allergic reaction >just as I start sneezing I cum >girl that also has an internship at my work opens the door, seeing me sitting on the toilet sneezing with cum all over my belly, shit in my ass and mucus in my nose >she starts screaming and runs away >I get up and try to follow but forgot to put my pants on and so I fall down >I start crying and run all the way home ( 25 minute run)
I haven't called anyone from work. This happened at 13:35-13:50 today and I am really fucking scared that the girl who saw me is gonna report it to my boss and then my internship is gone. Shit was so embarassing.
Can someone please give me some genuine advice? Should I contact the girl? I have her on FaceBook.
My schedule is pretty bad and after lunch is usually when my sex drive is the highest. I had some latin-american food for lunch today and it really did the trick. But I just happen to be so useless and retarded that I forgot to lock the damn door...I'm speechless.
Landon Martin
Does someone on Jow Forums work in human resources? Can they fire me for this? She has no proof it happened. If I pay her money maybe she won't say anything to the others? But she has so many friends at work. She might have told them already.
Oliver Ross
This was an entertaining read, Sven. I don't think you're going to lose your job, but you're definitely going to lose everyone's respect forever.
It's an internship and I really need the reference from my boss. What if she talks? Can I bribe her to shut up? I hear girls talk to their friends about everything. People are gonna start to wonder why I ran home and didn't come back. FUCK FUCK FUCK what do I do?!
Christopher Jones
Did it feel good though?
Dylan Collins
You're not helping. Give me advice to get out of this shit please Pekka if this gets out people are going to bully me
