New map

There's that too, but there is also a traditional whining about our own faults.
As usual though, it's only fun when we ourselves do it.

This
m.youtube.com/watch?v=kgpxvjw0-Nk

I see Sweden is the laughing stock of scandinabis

>scandinabis
Scandinavia

>he doesnt like scot jokes

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You have to go back to your shithole
You know nothing about Italy I doubt you are even Italian
Terroni are mocked because they are shit on the civic sense not because they are poor
Polentoni are mocked because they are snobby not because of the LARP you utterly retard we even make fun on crucchi (germans)

same as the belge to France, the Netherlands and Luxembourg

How do Scandis joke about Swedes? For us, literally all the jokes are:
>Sweden's gay ebin trolled XDDDD

A qualcuno brucia il culo

Davvero voi terroni pensate che ce ne freghi qualcosa di essere visti come tedeschi? contando che poi i larper della lega nord (lega lombarda) larpano come celti
In altre regioni del nord a nessuno frega un cazzo di larpare, le battute contro il sud provengono dal fatto che il vostro senso civico é al pari di un africano

>Obsessed neighbors club
Only Sweden and Belgium understand

In the case of Belgium, it's pure love

It's really dumb. Swedes are portrayed as retards, so it's along the lines of "how do you sink a Swedish submarine? You swim down and knock on the door". A second variant is a joke about "the Dane, the Swede and the Norwegian", where the three are comparing themselves in some menial task, and the Swede is doing it completely wrong.

We have that comparison format too. But we make Swedes gay/sissy every single time.

We do exactly the same thing but with Belgians. There's an entire category of jokes named after them, and they're all stuff like "what do you do when a Belgian throws you a grenade? you unpin it and throw it back!".

Ma se sono del nord pure io, padre ligure e madre milanese.

hot

E larpi come un tedesco?
Non sento mai nessuno qui in Veneto che vuole essere visto come un tedesco anzi

UK should be scotland

How to best get rid of a D*ne?
>Grab him by his horns and toss him out!

An Icelander, a Greenlander and a Faroese man walk into a bar.
It's a trap. The D*nish bartender locks the door and all the guests eventually starve to death. He robs them of their valuables.

A D*ne, an Icelander and a Faroese are hanging out by the pool. A genie appears and offers to fill the pool with whatever they wish, they need only request it midair, while diving into the pool.

The D*ne, rushes to dive into the pool and says, midair:"The blood of the innocent!"

The rest look on in horror as the D*ne bathes in, and drinks the blood of the innocent, cackling madly.

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Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

We are somewhat insular.

Why?

Analfabeta

to take a shortcut

Excellent post

Good lord

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It's actually mostly a "hurr Italians are the worst" thing. I hate it with passion.

(Translated, OFC)
"An Italian, a German and a Frenchman go to a safari in Africa. At some point, the Frenchman accidentially pisses a lion off, which gives chase. As he runs, the Italian starts taking off his backpack. The lion manages to pounce and maul the Fenchman, so the Italian starts to shed his clothes as he runs.
'Ze fuck are you doing?' the German asks to the Italian.
'I'm trying to outrun the lion!"
'You can't do that dummkopf, it's too fast!"
'I don't need to run faster than it, I just need to be faster than you are!' "

"What's the best way to stop the average Italian from rioting? Tell him there's the Champions League in TV!"

What happens to an impoverished dutchman?
He resorts to Sea Begging

After nationalist protests in 1800s Iceland, the D*nish crown declares a curfew at 10 pm for all Icelanders, on pain of death.

An officer and a rookie of the D*nish imperial police are smoking pipes and chatting when the rookie suddenly pulls out his rifle and shoots an Icelandic man hurriedly walking down the street in the head, killing him instantly.

"What the fuck are you doing!? It's only 9:40!!" exclaims the officer.

The rookie calmly replies "I know that man, he lives in the next town and would never have been home by 10."

The rookie is promptly promoted to Marshal, although he didn't know the man, and the officer knew the man in fact lived in the very next house.

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>almost every single country around us makes fun of us

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based

-what does a cut A4 paper become?
-a norweigan puzzle

What the fuck, Iceland? I thought we were bros.

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scotlands is not a country

We have that but the swede is usually replaced by an estonian or russian

Sometimes latvian

>Sometimes latvian
Kek, you joke about yourselves? Why?

we are funny

also quite dumb

belgians are dumb amirite

Do you joke about Estonians being slow?

Yup

That exactly how we do it too, but the swede in your joke is a norwegian or dane in ours. I've heard that exact submarine joke done before but with norwegians in the starring role.

There are also some jokes using the template "the Dane, the German, and Bellman", Bellman being a bizarre village idiot who still manages to pull ahead. It's not really modern comedy though, and may or may not be inspired by Carl Michael Bellman's notoriously quick wit.

The King encounters Bellman on a winter's day; "Why are you dressed so lightly? You'll freeze to death."

Bellman: "I'd like to humbly inform the king that I am wearing my full wardrobe."

Like I said; hardly modern comedy.

I've never heard a joke about the Portuguese.

W-why do you hate us so?

>Swedish perpetual motion machine?
>a paper that says "turn" on both sides

HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHA ;'^D

A Swede lit up a match to see if he had remembered to put out the candle.

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Why don't you play hide and seek with Sw*des?
Nobody wants to find a fucking Sw*ede!

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No one jokes about us, nice

Aside from the polentoni/terroni bickering, Italians have this particular "defeatist" attitude towards themselves. You'll always hear Italians complaining at how "of course only Italians would ever do *bad thing*" and that "this doesn't happen in other places".
Ironically, this post is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

A french, a brit and an italian are on a plane and make a bet about who can guess what city they're flying over by putting their hand out of the window
The french goes first, and he says "Paris", the pilot asks "Yes, how did you know?" "I put my hand out and i touched the Tour Eiffel"
After a while, the brit goes second and he says "London", the pilot asks "Correct, how did you know?" "I put my hand out and i touched the Big Ben
Finally, it's the italian's turn, he puts his hand out and after thinking a bit he says "Naples", and the pilot says "Correct, but how did you guess? we didn't fly anywhere near a monument this time" and the italian replies "I put my hand out and somebody stole my watch"

bullshit

belarus doesn't joke at all

We definetly do make fun of your dialect

>Sweden

yeah and I think it's mostly Walloons and Flemish people bantering eachother in Belgium(a little like in Italy)

Nonsense! here's a classic Belarussian joke:
Man is hungry, but man has no money to feed family. So man steal bread. when get home, man see family been deported to Siberia. "Good," says man, "more bread for me!"

But bread have worm.

>spaintugal

>Belarussian
>Siberia
Deported you to an oven, gjewnius

Can some Hungarian tell a Scottish joke?

It's an Andorran think more than Spanish

It's from Soviet times.

Okey that one was pretty funny

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a belgian walks in the desert with a car door
someone asks why do you have that car door
"to open up a window, its so hot in here"

according to that map it is, look at hungary

it's not
t. soviet anecdotes pro

>why is there a smaller cloth drying hanger on the scotman's house?
>to dry the washed toilet papers and condoms!

>why doest the scot watches the porn backwards?
>he likes to cum when the whore hands back the money

Paddy was on his death bed and knew the end was near.

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast .

He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.
When all is ready he begins to speak:

"My son Seamus, I want you to take the houses in Cultra."

"My daughter Geraldine , you take the apartments over in Malone Road."

"My son Patrick Junior, I want you to take the offices in the City centre."

"Bridget, my dear wife, please take all the residential properties on the Upper Lisburn Road ."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away. They did not realize the extent of Paddy's wealth. As he slips away, the nurse says to his wife, "Mrs. O'Shaughnessy, my deepest condolences. Your husband must have been such a hard-working and wonderful man to have accumulated all this property"..
"Property?”, his wife replies. “The ****** had a window cleaning

*Business

>when you don't even need neighbouring countries to make good banter
Looking at (You) entire Yurop

Nah, there is also the regular
>an Englishman, a Frenchman, a German and an Italian [do thing]
where the Italian ends up being the exploitative or clever one who comes up with the crazy idea that actually works

tell me a yugoslav joke about bosnia

Bosnia

What's the difference between a migratory bird and a terrone?
The bird comes north, does his job and then goes back south. The terrone comes north, doesn't work and also doesn't leave

STOP BULLYING

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germans and polacks are just tsundere

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I call bullshit tb h, if our own country is allowed then we definitely joke the most about ourselves

It's a bullshit map with no source

bög

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all europeans are faggots cucks

A family of terroni is tired of being poor and wants to move to the north; reading the newspaper they find out that it is possible to become Piedmontese by bathing in the water of the river Po (a river by most considered the border between Northern Italy and the rest of the country).
So they travel all the way up the country until they reach the Po. The father crosses first, planning to help the rest of the family cross once on the other side.
It swims in the water and after some struggle manages to reach the other bank. The family immediately starts screaming: (in terrone accent) Dad! Dad! Throw a rope or something so we can cross! Dad come on hurry up!".
And the father says: (in Piedmontese accent) By God! I have been a Piedmontese for 5 minutes and there already terroni here busting my balls!"

IT WAS A ONE TIME THING

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H-how do we p-put a stop to this?

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I've never really heard any jokes about the english

An old scot is lying on his deathbed. As his body slowly dies, he asks for his darling wife. She responds
>yes honey, I'm here with you.
he then asks to see his sons, who tell him
>yes father, we are all here right now
he finally asks if everyone is with him right now, to which they all say yes. The old scot lifts his head up and exclaims
>Then why the fuck are the lights on in the living room?

>be Yurocucks
>joke about each other being gay illiterate poors while their societies burn down around them

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Yeah it was always Scottish for us

This map isn’t new. It’s been going around for years

It's just Jew jokes but with Scots instwad