Do you guys know how to play chess?

Lol you have no idea what you are talking about

Let's go, create room in any online chess sites.

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yeah but i suck at it

*knocks piece off board* One of these days you'll beat me.

What rules do you want to play by?

lichess.org/LPmCiMwR

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Try again, someone has been ahead me.

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Ok ok hold on I am eating ramen noodle right now

i prefer Shougi and Mahjong

So what title do you have?

same

what was your top rating?

The Third Category in FIDE raiting-system.
I would get the second category, but I give up chess in 16.

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this post will apply to most people including myself

at*

Every one of you faggots needs to be shoved in a locker.

I'm not especially good at it but I enjoy it.

About 1600 at FIDO system.

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wakil is that you owo

*gave up

I know chess, but I'm unfortunately not very good at it. I have horrible focus and I'm not very patient.

>professional chess player

kek

Assad pls no bully

let's play a match sir via lichess. ok?

Ok, create room.

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lichess.org/S5lpX115

Ivan got dabbed on.

What a disgrace! He'd be GULAGed right now.

easiest game to learn

literally the game of break time in the second to sixth grades

the patrician option

tfw ruskie boi got rekt

>tfw trolled him using polish opening
>tfw was fun

good games drog)

If it’s so easy why do you suck so hard at it lmao

all there is to say is that you're a pedant

GG, bro.
It was cool to play this game again, after several years of idle.

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yea but i play really casually and only if someone asks me to play

Yes, and of you like it I recommend you to also learn Shogi.

>implying I don’t know how to play Shogi

Bit useless to learn in my opinion when you can only play against weebs and nips you can't communicate with.

Pretty much this

>the more you play the higher the difficulty level goes

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haha what is that? oiled cups chess?

Would be a fairly effective auto balance but you'd need to weight the pieces somehow.

That or whatever drink messes your health up the most

Hey to the Russia and Syria user I followed you on lichess, can you guys follow me back?

Let’s be friends

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seems like it's a shots chess. one shot, one move kek. seems fun desu!

sure ^^

No no no that’s not how you play the game desu

You take a shot every time your opponent captures one of your pieces lol

oh i see lol

Wouldn't it make more sense if you took the shot of the opponent's piece you captured?
Otherwise a one sided match becomes even more one sided.

If we played by 1 move 1 shot we’d be wasted before the game was over lol (btw I play shot chess with Bacardi 151)

No, because the objective of the game is to not get drunk as that impairs your mental faculties and could cost you the game. You shouldn’t reward yourself with alcohol, but punish yourself with it. That’s why you take a shot every time you lose a piece and not when you take one.

Remember you’re trying to win the game. You can’t win if you’re drunk.

Unless you’re like Rock Lee from Naruto

- if you want to punish someone
- if you want you and your friend to try and play into the night

I think we lasted up to five games until i started making Darlek noises "exterminate!!" everytime i moved the bishop

Yes. I just don't.

And by doing this sacrificing pieces early in the game becomes an active weapon against your opponent

But the aim of a drinking game is to have fun, no? suppose:
>said A is stronger than side B
>B blunders a piece
>A has to drink
>A is now less accurate
>B has now chances to turn the tide
>B also becomes less accurate as the playing field evens out
If B had to drink instead it would immediately become a roflstomp. Might be an option if two sides are almost evenly matched but when does that ever happen?

I'd balance the pieces out desu because then you could just throw all your pawns at the other side untill he starts to vomit.

*side A
i'm fucking tired

It takes a while for it to hit you.
You're right, though, it's about having fun. And for that, either is fine by me.

Nice proxy.

Yes, you have no idea...

Magnus Carlsen, is that you ?OWO

it's a low iq game of pretending that remembering books worth of autistic patterns is somehow tactics.

That's Mr. Carlsen to you, until you buy my app. Then you can go ahead and call me Magnus.

based kek

based

Can i play with your mom instead?

How's your preparation going?

this is true actually, real men play Go

Question:
Why Russians and Eastern Europeans in general so good at Chess?
Isnt Chess a Persian creation?

I was a member of chess club in elementary school. For a few month. Then i dropped it for some reason, and i was scared to come back.

noice

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yes, but not checkers

I still remenber when I challenged my highschool principal to a chess match [spoiler]and I won[/spoiler]

Did he expel you?

No, he just got me grounded for an entire break time because, as much I was polite to him, couldnt hide my shit eating grin I had, so he returned the favour with the same coin, and same smugness.
Wasnt even mad. Well played by him.

Ok well you’re a faggot

I've played it with my dad since before I was old enough to start remembering things.
I have absolutely no recollection of being taught the rules.

The rules are simple. Make your opponent lose.

I like playing chess in real life because if you practice or are trained in psychological warfare (like the CIA & KGB) you can sometimes fuck with their heads and make them lose the game.

It’s great and very satisfying when it is successfully implemented. You should feel its thrill sometime, Pekka

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Same here

Can’t pawns move 2 on first? I thought that was a legit rule

Yea they can

They can move 1 or 2 spaces

If your opponent had a pawn that had crossed just over the middle of the battlefield onto your side they can diagonally capture the square diagonally across from it if you move your pawn 2 steps ahead

This is basically just a scenario where advanced players are playin a you-know-I-know-you-know game with each other since if you moved the pawn one space ahead instead of 2 then your opponent could have captured it with his pawn

It is supposed to give your opponent a chance to react to your 2step move....

>No castling, no en passants
the absolute state of brainlets

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I just lost the game

Seriously, they teach this stuff to 3 year olds. How dumb do you have to be to need a simplified version?

I just took a massive shit. It was pretty clean but it could have been better.

Are you a girl?

my grandfather taught me

no, the shit was also 100% male.

Fuck off faggot

chess without castling seems silly even at low levels. en passant I can understand, it's an important rule but only in some games and very rarely at newb lvl.

no u

One of these days you won’t be retar—-never mind...

*Picks pieces back up and rearranged them back on the board in they order they were before because of my eidectic memory*